Ranch Dressing with Eartha Kitsch

Burn my clothes, but hurry up!

2012-02-02T09:52:00.007-06:00

When my Grandfather passed, my Dad gave me a box of his papers. There were all sorts of things in there from old pay stubs to report cards from when my Dad was a kid. There were also some old photos like this one of my Grandfather from a photo booth when he was young:

There were many photos of him dressed up in dapper suits and posing with different lovely ladies. I have no doubt that he was popular with the girls with his wavy hair and startling ice blue eyes.

And those white buck shoes!

Also in the box were several printed postcards with funny sayings on them. I thought that this one from 1926 might be fitting for Valentine's Day time. I like to imagine that one of his love interests gave it to him or that he kept these in his pocket to make the girls giggle:

Feel free to use any of these lines on your own Valentine's cards this year - especially the ones about hooch and burning clothes. I have a feeling that those sentiments span the decades and are always relevant to young lovers, wherever you are.

The slang here reminds me of one of the best songs ever by the amazing Betty Hutton:

Until next time,
x's and o's (and applesauce),
Eartha

Fourteen Days of L-O-V-E

2012-02-01T15:14:00.007-06:00

And now it's February. The pretty heart shaped chocolates are stockpiled on store shelves. Every other commercial aims to make men think that they're complete jerks if they don't buy jewelry for that special someone. The freak radiation experiment sized teddy bears and monkeys wearing red satin boxer shorts have been in stores for at least two months now. Ah...love. Ain't it grand?

In honor of the holiday, I'm going to challenge myself to do a post a day until Valentine's Day about what I feel is in some way related to love, romance or Valentine's Day. Just to get this party kicked off and to show you that it won't be all lovey dovey hearts and flowers, today's post is a photo of my Great Uncle Rufus and two ladies who I can not identify.

It just screams Valentine's Day to me. I'd love to be able to know what they were each thinking at the exact moment this photo was snapped. I didn't go to prom but I imagine that my face would have been like the lady's on the far right if I had:

"I put on control-top pantyhose for this?"

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Recent Finds

2012-01-31T13:54:00.022-06:00

I have accidentally started a small collection of "we missed you in church" cards. I found these at one of the thrifts still in the package. And found these pins in the same store.

And then on my way out, I found these bracelets and had to get back in line.

This top is actually from Old Navy. I saw it on Scathingly Brilliant and fell in love with it's classic old lady styling. And it's a silky polyester that feels just like you stole it from Granny's closet. They also have a cherry red version with dogs on it! Check them out here. The bow goes in the back but I wear mine in the front because I love vintage secretarial style. And Kriss Kross.

They also had a different style that had beautiful birds on them. Oh, and if you want any of these, they're cheaper in the stores than online. Just a tip. Right now, they have a few great things that will easily incorporate into a vintage leaning wardrobe.

I have a weakness for metal boxes with designs on them
(and then I store things in them and can't find them because I'm an old lady)
And speaking of old ladies:

Pregnant Granny
"You and your once more for old times sake!"
She's actually part of a salt and pepper shaker set. I've seen her geriatric baby daddy before but so far just have Granny.

Another big weakness: vintage cleaning products
Yep, I'm the annoying lady at the estate sales who is digging under the sinks!

And speaking of estate sales, these two purses came from a recent local sale. That straw one is huge and will even hold my camera.

The Mister is my secret weapon. When there are estate sales that I can't go to, I look at the sale pictures online and tell him what I'd love to have and off he goes. He's an early bird of a man and has long arms for reaching over other customers. Sometimes, I'll just tell him "Oh, you know what I like. Surprise me!" and it's fun to see what he comes home with. Recently, these were my surprise. He's a great shopper. And I think that he likes to go shop for me so that I don't go with him and spend two hours just admiring a house or spending thirty minutes sorting through used washcloths while his life slowly ticks away.

Last weekend we had twenty minutes to kill so of course, I suggested a thrift store! When we walked in, we saw this chest of drawers that happened to match our bedroom dresser. Score! The weird thing was that while we were looking at it, a store employee came up and started moving it to another place in the furniture department. So, we had to follow him while he was rolling the chest around the room just to get it. And he refused to acknowledge that we were talking to him about how we were buying it. He just looked right through us as we talked to him, parked the chest of drawers and then turned and walked away.

For a minute I wondered if we had passed away and were invisible to mortals and just didn't realize it yet. Maybe we'd gotten run over in the parking lot and our spirits were still determined to shop. Sometimes, thrift stores are great and weird. The chase got our adrenaline up and we bought it in a rush and then stopped to wonder if it would fit in my small car - which was already full of old little kid school chairs that we'd found at a dumpster behind an elementary school. I'd show them here but they're in the garage where I cram impulse buys and am afraid to go. And no, we don't have kids. But if we do, we've got the chairs. Anyway, it did fit in the car.

Note: Do you ever find things that won't fit into your car and it just kills you? Recently, we were with an installation artist who had this giant ..I'm talking giant school eraser that he was giving away. But it was the size of a couch and made out of wood. A giant fake pink school eraser as big as a couch! I don't know what I would have done with it but that's the kind of thing that it's hard to pass up. Oh, and it had hinges and opened up. I could have just been buried in it. Buried in a fake school eraser! Dang...that would have been sweet. Not having a truck keeps me from getting whimsical coffins and giant lawn dinosaurs.

Meet Peter Peppers!

He's a huge chalkware dog that I found in one of the worst antique stores in town. He was down in the floor behind a bunch of really bad junk. This place is so packed that you feel like you're going to break half the shop just by turning around. But alas, I got Peter Peppers out of there safely!

I love to picture some tourist bringing him all the way home from Mexico. He's in our foyer, greeting guests as they come in.

What about you? Found anything squeal-worthy lately? Do tell!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Nothing to see here. Just a cat on my head.

2012-01-30T20:53:00.003-06:00

And I thought that my cats had strange routines. Check out this tuxedo kitty's favorite hang:

Let's Keep It Movin'...Movin'

2012-01-27T13:40:00.005-06:00

Since there was such a positive response (ha!) to my post the other day about Gloria, the giant beanbag lady, I thought that I would bring you some more fantastic craft ideas from the same book, The Family Creative Workshop: Volume 14 so that I can ~~put it back on the shelf for good~~ bury it in the ground.

And before you start to whimper and whine, let me tell you that the subtext to that book title is "Quilling to Rope Knotting" so hey, consider yourself lucky that I chose neither. Instead..

Choo! Choo!

A Little Locomotion seems to be in order for this unusual couple.

And man alive, if those two don't put the "loco" in locomotion, I don't know what does! And yes, they are indeed pantyhose craft. Which you may know gives me the ugly shivers.

How about some close-ups?

Ohmyheck, that face!
And how creepy is pantyhose cleavage, huh?

Four things come to mind when I look at her:

1. That song with the lyrics, "Ruby...don't take your love to town".
2. That other song about the girl named "Fancy" who turned prostitute to save her family.
3. Belle Watling as done by a man with five o'clock shadow.
4. I should start using anti-aging cream.

And what about the conductor of this little crazy train?

Like a worm shoved in a sock.

I know what you're thinking: "It's a shame that we can't see him better."

Kiss me, slobber lips! I'm thirsty!

Your mind is going crazy, right? You don't know what's true anymore?

Maybe the text from this chapter of the book can assist:

"Such sculpted heads can be stitched onto realistic bodies, like that on the lady on the locomotive, or on bodies that are merely suggested, like that of the engineer....Or if you prefer, you can make the head pillow-size and leave it at that."

Can you just imagine?

Don't worry. Even in this imaginary scenario, Pip is coming to destroy them.

That's some nasty..nasty business, isn't it? Pantyhose crafting, people. I know that my name is Eartha Kitsch but I can't condone it. I mock it to make sense of it. That's my only explanation.

Okay, now one more for you from the same book:

Not that I don't love you but you're on your own with this one.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Seek and Ye Shall Find

2012-01-26T11:51:00.001-06:00

I'm sure that most of you who have websites are like me and love looking at your statistics. I always especially enjoy seeing the search terms that people use to find Ranch Dressing. Of course, like I've said before, I get a LOT of people who are just looking for a recipe for ranch dressing and again, I apologize. The most recent non-salad related ones that made me giggle are:

Cat hustle - Ooh! Cute! I'd like to see that too! Tiny little leisure suits and paws pointed towards the sky.

Dressing like a buckaroo - Cool. All about it. Send me snapshots.

I want to own him, help - Whoa. I can only hope that this was some kind of knick-knack lust emergency as in, "Oh my god...this ceramic duck is wearing cowboy boots! But I can't afford him! I'll bet that Eartha can help!"

And then I kid you not, this one popped up:

I own him.

Huh! And here are some more terms that brought folks to the ranch:

Cat in a fireplace - SEVEN people searched for this one. Which is good because I do have a photo of a cat in a fireplace. She shoots! she scores!

Creepy Fruit - Yep. Endorsed by Eartha.

Macaroni with Tone Fish - This one is puzzling but the fact that not one but THREE people found me with the search term? Even more so.

And in the same vein:

Macaroni Vent Covers - Ha! What do y'all take me for?? Whatever it is, I like it!

And then there was:

Squirrels dressed up Roman - Once again - love to see it.

70's Hot Tub - Yep, I just keep on getting hits this way. For those of you who are used to my hot tub fascination, you'll probably shield your eyes now. Those who don't...

One.

Two.

Three!

Rub-a-dub-dub!

Ha! Oh my god, that one never gets old to me.

Next up:

Big Beautiful Woman Dominatrix - I know of a lot of vintage loving gals who get this one. Sadly, I'm a big, beautiful kitten without a whip. Can I interest you in a photo of a cat in a fireplace instead?

Ooh! Now that's what I'm talking about! Hawt!

Well, whatever brings you here, I hope that you keep coming back. And I promise you that one of these days, I'm going to post a ranch dressing recipe to make this whole thing legit.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

The Truth About Gloria aka "The Saddest Seat on Earth"

2012-01-25T12:12:00.029-06:00

I've been wanting to bring more crafting to Ranch Dressing so I thought that this might be a good (okay, questionable) place to start. Today's offering is from the book The Family Creative Workshop, Volume 14.

I know what you're thinking: "This has GOT to be a fetish thing!"

Nope, it's just a 1970's thing. It's okay. A lot of people get the two confused.

Here's what the book says about the above:

It is la dolce vita with this well-upholstered chair-person around to comfort and to cushion one after a hard day at the office.

Okay so...la dolce vita - Either the writer is saying that having this doll to come home to is like living "the good life" or he's comparing it to a Fellini film. If you've ever seen a Fellini film, you might agree with me that this would fit right in. I'm gonna choose the latter.

Back to it:

If you take a rag doll to a larger-than-life extreme, you may have an enormous chair-person like exotic Gloria, above, to share your living room.

Right. If Gloria is exotic then I'm Chita Rivera!

She is as comfy to snuggle up with as she looks, since her torso is made from two ready-made pillows sewn together...

I'm sorry. Let's stop again. I've got to get this out in the open - is anyone thinking this besides me?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies??

Can you see it? Can you see it??

Alright, back at it:

Antique boots from a thrift shop were stitched to her feet, and I sewed junk jewelry rings on her fingers. A black silk scarf stitched around her face and stuffed makes a very stylish pageboy bob.

Sigh.

Her cigarette, by the way, is detachable, in case the hostess does not allow smoking.

1. Wait - the hostess? Are they suggesting that one take that...that...Gloria to dinner parties as their guest? "Aww gee, hon. Do we have to invite Carl? He always brings that demented beanbag, Gloria!"

2. As if anyone could enjoy snuggling this doll if they hadn't been smoking something!

You know, the seventies were truly some whackadoodle days. I grew up during that era and even though I love a lot about that time, sometimes, even I am shocked at some of the stuff that came out of those years. But rest assured, sometimes we learn our lessons about things and won't repeat them. For instance, today's version of the pillow lady above:

source

You see? No head this time around! There..isn't that better?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Oh, and p.s. : Man Marries His Body Pillow

Just To Show You That I DO Exercise SOME Self Restraint

2012-01-23T13:56:00.010-06:00

There have been some pretty interesting free items in our local Craigslist lately. None quite as thrilling as the giant dinosaur that got away but, still pretty interesting.

First up:

At first, you're led to believe that this is just your average, everyday free walrus head:

This walrus head has been in my family for years. I have never liked it. It was given to me by my Father in his will.

Yes...yes...I mean, who hasn't lost track by now of how many walrus heads we've been bequeathed? Then the ad gets more interesting:

I'm sure it's his idea of a way to get back at me for my alternative lifestyle that he never approved of.

I'm not sure how the two go together but I'm sure that this guy knew his Dad better than I did so we'll trust his judgment on family matters. He goes on to say:

I'm going to throw this in the dumpster by the end of the week. I can't even sleep with this thing in the house.

Now call me sadistic but I love picturing this guy tossing and turning, staring at the walrus head and then defiantly hitting the dumpster in his pajamas to toss that baby in. Even though I was thoroughly curious and sorely tempted to go to this guy's house and find out what his "alternative lifestyle" is and take that walrus head off of his hands, it just smacked of bad juju to me so I let someone else have that adventure.

Next up, vagueness:

This ad read:

Free Beautiful Thing - I have a very beautiful thing that has been in my family for a very long time. It's quite ornate and in very good condition so I hate to throw it out. Is there anyone who wants this?

Now, you call tell that I must have had a busy week not to have called this person - because this one just reeks of intrigue to me. Why wouldn't they name what this "very beautiful thing" was? Sadly, we'll never know because I lamed out. It was probably gilded and Rococo and had sassy velvet tassels and it's plush velvet was stuffed with old hundred dollar bills but noooooo...

Up next, I bring to you"free ugly chair":

The text:

FREE UGLY CHAIR - Hey there! I have a really big, very urlg chair for free! It's really nice to sit in, would look GREAT with a cover, but has damage from my dogs, and it's just...old. If you'd like to take it home, please email me! It's a light tan/white cloth with light blue and dark blue random pattern...

What's that? Want to see a photo of the chair?

The owner of the chair goes on to say:

That's my chair in the picture with the dogs sleeping on it..

Well, you don't say! And then the best line ever:

Kind of reminds me of the beach. Not sure why!

The beach! Ha! Something tells me that this person has not been to the beach in a really, really long time. That same something also tells me that they might have done better to use the approach of the previous ad and just put "Free Beachy Thing".

And if that chair was a day at the beach, then this couch has to be a luxurious Mediterranean cruise:

Ah...those glorious words that copywriters have only dreamed of coming up with down through the ages:

It wants to be under your ass all day.

Truth in advertising is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

What Do You Celebrate?

2012-01-20T13:12:00.005-06:00

Today I decided to be a more celebratory person. No, I'm not going to drink champagne all day or be that lady who yells "Whoooo!!" in public. Here's what I mean - I've noticed that our lives are usually so hectic here at the ranch that sometimes, the only time that I slow down enough to notice things are when things go wrong. I've decided to turn that muckey muck around. I'm going to start noticing when things go right.

This week for instance - We saw the five month anniversary of Skippy Lou going missing. The search goes on. It's so easy to get caught up in the sad parts and wonder why we haven't found her and if she's okay. But often, I get so caught up in that avenue of thinking that I forget about all of the lost and abused animals that we've been able to save - more than I can even count now.

Just this week, I reunited a lost husky with his daddy as well as a lost wedding ring with it's owner. I was also able to help get a sweet, scared little Papillon sprung from the shelter and on his way to a new, happy home. All because I was looking for Skippy Lou.

Also, a volunteer called me to give me an update on a dog that was found a month ago by a lady who thought that she'd found Skippy Lou. This sweet old lab was found wandering with her paws completely raw. She could barely walk a step further. She was taken to a no-kill shelter and treated for what turned out to be a horrible skin infection in her paws. The volunteer called to tell me that she was about to go home to a new family who would love her for the rest of her days.

And today I realized that I barely took half a breath to celebrate before moving on to more work and worry. That's three lives saved and a sentimental item back where it belongs and I'm all, "Damn...SO much to do! Why can't I get a break?" Something is sooo wrong about that, no?

This brings me to our kitty Mishka:

I love my Mishka. She is my number one snuggle buddy. And lately, she's had some major health scares. Just last month, she went under the knife and the vet feared that he'd find cancer. The Mister and I were scared to death and walked around in a stupor for days, talking about the horrible things that might be about to happen. Luckily, she was cancer free. I remember us feeling very relieved but I don't remember us taking even a smidgen of the time to celebrate that we did to worry. Can you relate at all?

Today, we were back there again. I took Mishka to the vet this morning for another surgery and due to some more health issues, the vet suspected that she might have FIV or Feline Leukemia. We'd had her tested when we rescued her from outside but sometimes, you can get false negatives on the tests. The tone of the vet's voice had me in a daze by the time that I left, passing an owner receiving the body of a euthanized pet as I left the building to await her test results.

I called the Mister and off we went again on the tangent of worry and sadness and fear. We started talking over all of the possible bad endings, both of our voices quivering on the phone. All morning, we walked around thinking and predicting the worse. Then I got the call - Mishka doesn't have either FIV or Feline Leukemia. All of her test results came back fine! Whew! <---let me tell ya. I called the Mister with the good news and then sat only for a couple of minutes before getting up to worry about something else.

And then thankfully, I caught myself. Something said "Celebrate This" and I stopped to realize that so much of our lives are spent worrying and dreading and looking back on sad events. And it's very seldom that we devote as much time to the happy things. Sure, we celebrate the big ones - weddings and birthdays and new babies. But do we stop to celebrate the everyday happy spots? And I started decorating. Because I wasn't sure how to adequately celebrate a disease free Mishka.

Hell to the yeah...paper chains

I know what you're thinking - Cat's can't read signs. Nor will she understand paper chains. Or the pizza party that the Mister and I will have. They're just gestures of thankfulness and joy. Mindfulness. I think of the sad face of the man who I passed this morning, watching as the vet softly placed his deceased dog in the back of his car and I know that chances are, he wishes that he could go back in time before whatever took his dog happened and just watch his pup run, and his eyes dance when he called his name or scratched behind his ear. To have the time to be mindful and to live in that moment and let his heart be glad.

I can easily look back on loved ones who were once with me but are now gone. Or times when my health was better. Or that snippet of childhood before I learned about grief. If I'd known then to appreciate every second of those times, it would be a wonderful thing. But I can't go back and change that. None of us can. But I can hold myself up to do better now that I realize.

What do you celebrate?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

A Girl Named Peanut and Rivers of Roaches

2012-01-13T12:14:00.005-06:00

From a 1971 edition of Woman's Day magazine, I bring to you the story of Peanut, her marriage of convenience and the cheap rocking chair that drove her to weight loss stardom - and some strange business with her Daddy and brother that I still can't make out. (Ad text below photo)

Down in Clayhatchee, Alabama, my daddy is a peanut farmer. A good one, too. He raised six children from the pickings on those vines, even if we did eat up a lot of his profits. One bonus Daddy always had though, was me. 197 well-fed pounds of meat with very little shell.

(Okay, that end part kind of makes me feel funny inside but let's carry on, shall we?)

I used to get my feelings hurt all the time being plump. But Mama's hot biscuits and homemade peanut butter cake tasted so good, I'd just eat away the unkind comments. Needless to say, I had very few dates. Nobody seemed interested in a fat girl. Guess that it was a lucky thing for me that I went to my Uncle's wedding. I was only nine years old, but I met my future husband, Steve, there. He was the bride's brother, so we saw a lot of each other as the years went by.

Being close that way, Steve just got used to me being chubby. At least he never mentioned my weight. But it kept bothering me. I kept promising myself that I was going to reduce, but I didn't. Instead, I married Steve and watched the piles keep piling on. It was not, however, until one of Steve's nephews made the remark that I really got the message. He said: "Aunt Glenda, are you going to have a baby?" I wasn't. That's when I started crash dieting. I took diet pills and lost 23 pounds. When I stopped, I gained back 46. And so it went. Then one day, I sat down in my platform rocker and it cracked right in half.....

(I'll spare you the middle part about the diet plan..and go straight to the end...)

Of course, I've received all kinds of compliments since reducing...But the nicest came from my 16 year old brother. He said to my husband, " I'd marry a fat girl anytime if she'd turn out like Glenda!"

Um, yikes on all levels. YIKES.

And finally, a very fine ad featuring Mr. and Mrs. Harry Fleming from Kansas City, Kansas:

We all just want to be famous for something.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Gradual Giving

2012-01-12T13:37:00.002-06:00

If you're like me, there are certain charitable causes that you care about and you'd like to help support. If you're also like me, you're on a fixed budget and sometimes you feel like, "I'm not wealthy...what can I do?" A lot of the time, charities need your time more than anything so if you have some to spare, give that a try. E-mail them or call and say, "What can I do to help?" There's very little chance that they'll turn you down and you'll be surprised at the nice people you'll meet and how good giving of yourself makes you feel. It's a tried and true mood lifter.

This donation time can even take place in your own neighborhood. Do you have an elderly neighbor who might need help in the yard...or walking their pet? Or just might enjoy having someone to talk to? Or a single parent who seems obviously overwhelmed? Now, sometimes it's hard to figure out how to start that ball rolling. Here's the easiest way - you see them out in the yard and you just go over to say hello. Talk about something that is going on in the neighborhood or the weather or how pretty their flowers look. Before you know it, you'll be on friendly terms with them. Every day, all around us there are people who could just use a helping hand or sometimes, just a simple smile to keep them going.

One of the things that I care about more than anything is animal welfare. In our town, our shelter has a food pantry where financially struggling pet owners can come and get food and supplies for their pets. It's such a great thing because with the economy being what it is, so many people have to give up their pets because they can't afford the food and supplies for them. Every day, I see ads from people giving up pets because they can't afford them. Can you imagine how heartbreaking that would be? So, at Christmas this year, when my family asked me what I wanted, I handed over the wish list from the pet pantry. And look how they came through!

Now, this is something that I never could have afforded on my own. But with everyone pitching in, I can now donate lots of great stuff to the pet pantry. I'm so excited to deliver it and to think about the pets and owners that these items will help.

We've decided that we'll do it again this Christmas too. I'm super stoked to see what we can gather up.

This brings me to an idea that I had called "Gradual Giving". I know that the Mister and I will still be on a tight budget this year but I want to be able to add to the donation to the pantry next time. Here's how we're going to do it - each week when we go to the grocery store, we'll pick up one can of cat food and one can of dog food to add to our donation box. Nothing fancy - just the cheapest that we can find which is usually about eighty cents for both cans. I'm also going to work coupon magic and when there are nicer things that I can get for cheap, I'll get those too - but never over a dollar per week. Then we'll come home, drop them in the donation box and forget about them. And week by week, though our grocery bill won't suffer, we'll have a nice full box to donate at the end of the year. Exciting!

This can be done with any cause that you'd like to support. You can start a box for your local food bank. Or personal hygiene supplies to donate to your local homeless or battered women shelter. Or school supplies for an organization that helps families afford to send their kids to school. Little gifts for nursing home residents.

The possibilities are endless and this plan can be suited to any charity that you'd like to support. Just look them up online or call them and find out what items they usually need most of all and go from there. You could even do this with a certain person or family in mind. Do you know someone in your neighborhood (or another)that has a hard time making ends meet? Pick up little items as you can and start a nice basket of things for them. Sometimes, pride keeps us from accepting donations from people but under the guise of holiday giving, most people will smile and never think anything of it.

And let me tell you, if you save up your coupons, you can get these donation items really cheap! It can be a pretty fun game to see what you can afford if you try.
If you don't want to collect items, you can always just have a jar that you put your change in. By the end of the year, apply it to whatever charity strikes your fancy. For instance, when I see the "Angel Tree" that our local Salvation Army puts up every year, I always want to take a child's name from it and buy a toy or new clothes for them but usually, we're in holiday budget lock-down mode and I can't. This would be a good way to manage that too.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not preachy preachy and saying that you have to. Not by any means. This is just an idea for those of us who want to and sometimes feel overwhelmed and like we won't be able to afford to. The charity that usually gets the most attention is the kind where a bigwig donates a giant cardboard check to an organization for a flashy photo-op. But for the most part, the majority of charity happens under the radar every day. Hold the door open for someone you don't know. Stop your car and help a wandering, lost pet. Take the time to listen when a coworker seems like they're having a hard time. Clip a small bouquet from your garden for a neighbor or nursing home. Keep your eye on the neighborhood kids walking to and from school to keep them safe. No matter how small it seems, it's a big deal.

My friend, Gia gave me a postcard that says, "Remember that everyone you meet loves something, has lost something, and is afraid of something." Most of us just want to feel like we matter and that we're noticed in this world. I think that we can do that for each other if nothing else.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Sharing is Fun!

2012-01-11T21:36:00.006-06:00

For a while now, I've been following Say It Ain't So, an awesome blog written by another local Nashville gal, Rae who is super cool. Recently, I was in the pay by the pound Goodwill parking lot and remembering that she posts sometimes about she and her hubs going there, thought to myself, "I wonder if I will see Rae and Travis!" and I swear to you, not even five seconds later, I looked to my right and getting out of the car right beside me were...Rae and Travis. Visualize to Realize, people!

Now, my unearthly shyness took over for a second and I thought about I don't know, diving under the car. But then I realized that they're cool kids and I may never get to meet them. So I said hey. And I think I scared Rae out of her wits because I pretty much shrieked at her and popped out like some deranged Jack-in-the-Box. It was then that I remembered that I'd just been climbing over cow skeletons in a field and my boots were covered in cow dung (long story. another time.) and I looked like a crazy woman. But so it goes...glamorous alter-ego blown.

As we talked about the adventurous world that is the Goodwill, they reminded me of their amazing Hank Williams bust that they scored there once. Like I could forget - it's one of the stories that keeps me going there even though I think that I'm going to get my eye put out by someone throwing a lawn chair or a set of steak knives or a small child. That place is crazy wild, yo.

Anyway, recently Rae was invited to share the story of Hank as her favorite find ever over at Owl Really which is written by Jamie. And I followed her over and "met" Jamie who also lives in Nashville and who before long, invited me to share one of my favorite finds too. And of course, I picked the Pam films. So I'd love to have you come on over and read the interview and meet the also super cool Jamie if you haven't already. Click here to go see:

I think it's a great idea that Jamie has come up with for a series. It's kind of like show-and-tell!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Anne's Things

2012-01-05T17:49:00.015-06:00

I went to an estate sale back in the Summer at a charming little house full of quirky crafts and cookbooks and lovely vintage things. Strangely enough, I got there a couple of hours after it opened yet there were few customers there. Throughout the next couple of days, the Mister and I went there three times to look over the house and the items. Before it was done, I felt like I knew the people who had lived there. Most of all, Anne.

There were touches of Anne all over the house - from her clothes in the closet to her well-worn serving pieces in the kitchen. I was immediately drawn to her cookbook shelf and down on the very bottom amongst store-bought books, I found her handmade cookbooks. And then her recipe cards that another shopper had cast off to buy her recipe box, bound tightly with old rubber bands. And now, I keep them in my studio in their very own box.

They are incredibly fascinating to me. I love seeing Anne's delicate, perfect handwriting and the photos of dishes that she cut out of magazines and carefully pasted into notebooks. And the pages accidentally splattered with ingredients. And sometimes, she'd write little notes next to the recipes after she made them to rate them. It's funny but when I see "very good" written in her pert little script, I have no doubt that she was right. The collection starts in the early 50's when she most likely set up housekeeping and goes into the late 1980's.

I marvel at the hundreds and hundreds of handwritten recipe cards.

And the little bonuses that are tucked here and there:

Especially this car payment receipt from 1950:

And on the back of it:

Who among us couldn't use a stiff drink after making the car payment?

There is also a whole binder full of clippings from a regular newspaper column about local Nashville women and how they cooked and entertained. I LOVE these to pieces:

This clipping tells of how ladies from the neighborhood have this lady cook meals for them and then pretend that they made them with their own two hands. No wonder she looks so tired! (I'm still trying to come to terms with the Early American gas can on the table..)

I learned that this lady loves hat making and won a ribbon at the Tennessee State Fair for the sport coat that she made for her husband. On her table is Southern Fried Rabbit, Spanish Corn and Congealed Strawberry Salad (that Anne marked as "very good")

From her clipping, I learned that she has a small dining room and was once in a sorority. And that she never sees her husband because he works a lot. She is serving Open Faced Tomato Finger Sandwiches and Bing Cherry Congealed Salad.

Sometimes, I'll just take the box down and look through these things and think about how Anne took the time to plan out how she would feed her family and entertain. How she probably had "everyday dishes" and then "the good dishes" and nicely pressed linens at the ready. And she probably knew her way around a good hostess gift too.

And I think about how she'd probably laugh at how I make the same three easy recipes over and over and then kindly encourage me to try something more exciting like "Red Curry Delight" or the "Harvey Wallbanger Cake".

I think it's interesting how some people look at this stuff as "junk" - like 90% of the people at that estate sale - but how people like me (and maybe you) latch onto it and want to buy it and preserve it. In fact, I've thought up a little project surrounding Anne's collection and if things go well, it'll be on tap for this year.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Visualize to Realize

2012-01-05T13:02:00.002-06:00

For a long time now, I've been wanting a crafting table for my office. I knew just what size I wanted and what I wanted it to look like. I could just picture it in my head. It would be white laminate and retro and round with nice sturdy metal legs. I searched the classifieds and thrift stores and couldn't find it. I kept thinking of taking other tables in just to settle and let the search end. But I made a promise to myself recently that I wouldn't bring anything into my house that I don't absolutely love. No more stand-in pieces or "surely I'll find a place for this once I get it home" pieces.

Then last weekend, after failed searches at a few more stores, the Mister and I were driving past the Habitat for Humanity store and I begged, "Let's just stop! They might have the table!" I'm sure he was thinking, "Fat chance, sister.." but we stopped.

And we walked in the front door. And there it was. The table that I'd pictured in my mind. To the letter. THE table. Mere feet across from me.

Which might not seem like such a big deal. But when you're on a tiny budget, these things seem like miracles. Will a shop have it? And if they do, will you be able to afford it? And wait...will it fit in the car? And they did. And I could. And it did. But just barely.

So now it sits in my office just waiting on some crafting to start. I'm presently too swamped for fun time but I can't wait. There used to be a single chair there in it's place where the Mister would come in and sit and talk to me while I worked. Now he sits at the table and calls it "the interview table". For a while, I had a solitary box of Kleenex there and I'd always tell him that he didn't get the job.

What about you? Have you visualized something lately and then had it realized? Do tell! Are you currently trying to find something and won't give up the search? Tell that too!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Take it from Mr. T

2012-01-01T14:19:00.004-06:00

The blogs are all a-twitter with new year's resolutions today and I love reading what everyone else resolves to do (and not do) in the new year. However, I decided many years ago to never voice any resolutions in public. It just makes things easier when one of my local readers sees me scarfing down doughnuts in my car mid-January in the Krispy Kreme parking lot.

If I resolve to do anything, it will be to admit that I am a flawed person. I procrastinate and screw up and this time next year, I'll have fouled up lots of things and missed opportunities. But what I will have not done is beat myself up over them. Believe me, I have. But not lately. Sometimes, I think it's enough just to know that we are doing the best that we can.

This isn't the easiest world to survive in. And as long as we're not hurting anyone and are trying as much as we can to make the world a better place for others - even if just in little ways, then we've done well. Sure, we'll screw up sometimes but everyone screws up sometimes. In the same way that we don't fault others for doing so, we can't fault ourselves.

Resolutions are cool and all but I'd rather go by Mr. T's mantra:

Happy New Year, buckaroos!

Until next time (I pity da fool!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Fireworks and Furry Friends

2011-12-30T17:43:00.012-06:00

Hello buckaroos!

Just stopping in to remind you about fireworks and pets. I know that a lot of us and our neighbors will be shooting off fireworks this weekend for New Year's Eve. Some people even start as soon as tonight where I live. And in the daylight even...don't get me started. We often think about how to take precautions for our own safety but what about our pets?

Please remember to put your pets safely inside this weekend. Every year, thousands and thousands of pets run away due to the fear of exploding fireworks and are never found again. They just keep running and before they know it, they're lost. They don't understand the noise and the lights at all, let me tell you. They can run into traffic or deep into the night due to this fear. Every year, on January 1st, I read the ads of people who have lost their pets due to fireworks. It might not be a bad idea to keep them in the day after either as some people seem to still be popping away their leftover fireworks the next day.

I've also read many lost pet ads this holiday season where pets have been lost due to their slipping out the door during holiday house parties. If at all possible, give your pets a safe, closed room of their own during party time. You don't want your friends giving your Fluffy the queso dip anyway.

I'm still in the middle of searching for Skippy Lou, who has been lost for four months and believe me, a lost pet is a very horrible thing. Did you know that a healthy animal can travel hundreds of miles in a single week when lost? I know, this isn't very festive - but I care about you guys and your pets.

While I'm here, let me implore of you to have your pets microchipped. It's safe and really cheap these days and SO worth it. While I've been searching for Skippy Lou, I've heard story after story of pets being found years later and many, many states away because of a simple microchip. Get you some happy tears here and here.

And please make sure that they have secure collars and tags with your updated information. The time to think about this is not after they've become lost and you are panicked. And this just in: Barbara just clued me in on QR Tags. This is an additional tag that can be put on your pet's collar that can be scanned with a smart phone if your pet is found. You kids with your technology today - you KNOW you love that! The finder can then immediately get your contact information and hello, happy reunion!

Also make sure that you have clear, updated photos of your pets in case you have to quickly make a lost pet flier or post them on the internet. Oh! And if you ever switch out your pet's collar, keep the old ones wrapped in gauze in a ziploc bag in a drawer somewhere. We've been using a bloodhound in our search and those collars are the best scent item ever for tracking. The gauze helps keep your pet's scent intact.

Click on the photo below to go to a site with some great tips on helping your pets feel safe and calm during fireworks:

I hope that you and your furry families have a joyous New Year's Eve! Please pass the word to your friends, families and neighbors that have pets as well. This is an exciting, hectic time of year and it's easy to forget to take these precautions.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Light It Up!

2011-12-27T11:15:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that I am a bit of a nut for blow molds. I was super excited to be asked by Lisa Hallett Taylor to participate in an online article about them over at About.com.

Click the photo below to see a pretty slideshow of some awesome blow molds and to learn a little history about them too. My portion is on page five but the whole article is full of eye candy and fun facts:

Until next time (let it glow...let it glow..let it glow..)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Fa La La La La

2011-12-26T11:25:00.022-06:00

I hope that you all are having a great holiday season! Ours is still in full swing. We've made our way through Tennessee, Georgia and South Carolina and are still in full-on party food snacking mode. Pimento cheese truly is addictive. And don't get me started on the regional favorite of white bread - which if we're honest is like shooting sugar right into one's veins.

Now we're getting ready to hit the day-after-Christmas sales. Yes, it's true. I'm a wrapping paper hoarder. I've told the Mister that if I die before I can use it all, he is welcome to construct my coffin out of the stockpiled rolls of paper and bling it out with the four thousand slivers of tangled ribbons that I've kept. And if money is especially tight, he has the option to have me cremated and displayed in one of my "Yes, I have way too many but they are dirt cheap and I promise that I will give cookies to everyone as gifts next year, m'kay?" cookie tins.

Let's just hope that I die during a Christmas season or people are going to think that he's a real cheapskate!

Here's a little show-and-tell for you until I can get back and give you the scoop on all of the holiday spills, chills and thrills away from the ranch:

From the gift pile

The aftermath

Dad's corner

At Mom's House. Knew that Santa was watching me. Did not steal.
Still questioning decision.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

2011-12-24T20:43:00.000-06:00

Happy Christmas Eve Buckaroos!

Purrrrrfection

2011-12-19T14:40:00.006-06:00

Just when I think I've seen the end-all-be-all of Christmas stockings, a package arrives in the mail from my friend, Joan:

...who apparently knows me like the back of her hand.

Do you hear angels singing? Because, I do.
Little googly eyed kitty cat angels. With bows on their tails. Draped in garland.
These are the kinds of things that I like to remember when I lose faith in the world.

Until next time (remember...every time a bell rings, a tabby gets it's wings!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

That Year Of The Giant Snow People

2011-12-18T22:37:00.003-06:00

I bought myself a little Christmas gift. My friend, Joan found this photo on Etsy and passed it on the link to me. And I just had to have it.

Awesomeness
It's got everything that makes my heart happy.

Enormous Snowmen? Check!

Stern Slightly Distant Lady?Check!
Freaky Flat Santa Guy? Check!
Eep. What a pair, huh?

I'm still waiting for the photo to arrive and I can't wait to get a better scan of the details. Or to map out my own freakishly gigantic snowmen for the lawn next year. What do you think is in there? Ranch Dressing friend Peashells suggested that they might be bushes - and I think she's right. That would be perfect.

As we don't have any bushes, I think that mine will be chock full of cat hair, dryer lint and Sonic grilled cheese wrappers.

Until next time
x's and o's,
Eartha

The Ghost of Christmas Past

2011-12-14T12:52:00.005-06:00

Oh, so okay. I've come to terms with it. The Christmas decorations just aren't going to happen this year.

I did manage to put up the huge Santa head that I found last week:

But beyond that, we still have a Christmas tree with lights and no ornaments standing in our living room. Truly, it's still pretty when the lights are low and it does kinda sorta feel like Christmas.

Since I love seeing everyone's Christmas decor tours, I thought that I'd fake one of my house using photos from last year. Oh, why the heck not? So, this is what my house would have looked like this year if life hadn't gotten in the way. Enjoy!

Okay, that last one is my Mom's house but I figured while I'm cheating, I'm going to cheat it up!

So there you go. I hope that you enjoyed the tour of 2010 pretending to be 2011. I should have the word "kitsch" slapped out of my name for my transgressions this holiday season, I know. And somewhere states away, my Mom who puts up a dozen Christmas trees is filing paperwork to disown me. Oh what a year, people. Oh what a year!

Here's to a festive finale to 2011 and to 2012 being ah-mazing! I just know that next year, I'll have everything done months in advance. Mmm hmm..

Until next time (All aboard! Next stop..Procrastination Station!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Hustle and Bustle

2011-12-12T10:31:00.006-06:00

This guy looks like I feel. I only have a few Christmas presents bought and no Christmas cards written or sent. No halls decked. No holiday baking or crafting done. Not to mention that Christmas tree standing in my living room with lights but no ornaments. Even the cats seem to know that it's inferior as they haven't even bothered to destroy it. Meow. Meh.

It's so funny how we have a full year to get ready for the holidays. I mean we know that they are coming but in the end, people like me are running around calculating shopping days and mailing deadlines at the last minute. I so want to be the girl with perfectly wrapped presents under the tree. The one who is bustling between neighbors' front doors, dressed like Christmas joy and delivering freshly baked cookies. But instead - Oh Mylanta...I'm going to be one of those people, standing at the post office in line for two hours while some stranger behind me breathes down my neck with a rasp that can only mean that I'll be moaning in bed with a flu within a week's time.

Tell me, readers....you're all done, aren't you? You're sitting back with hot cocoa and cookies with sprinkles and thinking, "Ahhhh.." Right?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Clickety Clickety Click Click

2011-12-11T14:52:00.017-06:00

This weekend, I got my dream typewriter. Well, the Mister got it for me. Being the mighty hunter that he is, he nabbed it from an estate sale. It's from the 60's and is from the Italian maker, Olivetti.

Ciao Bella!

It's clean as a whistle. The case was completely decrepit but the typewriter is pristine. Score one for the fast moving Mister! I showed him a photo of it sitting under a table all forlorn in the sale ad. Like my own personal shopper, he went quick like a bunny and brought that baby home.

I like to think of him fighting off hipsters as he makes his way to the lady with the cash box. Cries of "But..we were going to sell it on Etsy!" trailing behind him.

Since it's older, it doesn't have a key for an exclamation point.

Did you know that most typewriters didn't have those until the 1970's? True. I mean, true!

Being the overenthusiastic writer that I am, I use exclamation points a lot. My understanding is that before typewriters had them, an exclamation point was made by typing a period and then backspacing and adding an apostrophe over the period.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said "Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes."

Oh, that F. Scott...I'd hate to think of him living in our ROFL!!! LMAO!!! OMG!!! society of today.

Until next time (the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!!!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Audio Crush - Shotgun Party

2011-12-11T12:24:00.002-06:00

Shotgun Party - Great Big Kiss from Live & Breathing on Vimeo.

The "I Want To Own Him Immediately" Santa

2011-12-09T16:35:00.007-06:00

If you've been taking a spin on the Wacky Santa Train (choo! choo!) with me this week, you'll know by now that I delight not only in Christmas but also in the Crazy Creepy Christmas. It was with pure unbridled joy today that I came across this guy:

Um, whoa.
And are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Someone took The Village of The Damned and mixed it with Christmas. Someone who obviously knows the inner longings of my heart.

No, no....unfortunately I do not own him (hangs head in sadness) but it's this shot that makes me want to own him more than anything:

Oh my gosh.
Want some more? Because you KNOW you do!

That picture right there makes me want to buy him just so that I can use this shot on my Christmas cards next year. Could I possibly love him more? Because, no..I couldn't.

Here is the text from the eBay auction:

You are bidding on what I believe to be the coolest vintage stuffed Santa in existence. This Santa appears to have been made in the 30s or 40s The body and head are stuffed, the face is painted and he has light sockets for eyes. When plugged in, the eyes flash on and off. All pieces of the Santa suit are present except for perhaps his belt, if he in fact had a belt originally. Both Santa and the suit are in about the condition you would expect of a 60-70 year old item, worn but presentable. This is the easily the coolest and creepiest Santa I have ever seen and I believe it's pretty rare, try to find another on the net. If you've read this far, you know you want him. Look into his eyes...go ahead...bid.

Brilliance

It's true - he is rare. And I've never seen one before as if I had, I'd still be talking about it even if it were years ago. As for now, I will only dream about him coming to Kitschville as all of my "fun money" has to go to things that don't evoke shrieks of glee this year. But if you want to make him yours, go on over and see the super nice seller bertie2330 here: Ho! Ho! Ho!

Until next time (let it glow...let it glow..let it glow),
x's and o's,
Eartha

A Very Nervous Santa

2011-12-06T18:16:00.011-06:00

In keeping with the theme of yesterday's post, today I'd like to show you another Santa from my collection.

Also from 1952 - but this time, the very nervous Santa!

Whoa Nellie!
Since there's just so much to think about here, we'll not get bogged down in the fact that he has no legs. We'll just focus on his face. That face that brings to mind someone who is getting a way too personal pat-down from airport security.

Or perhaps a man who is trapped on the tiny ledge of a skyscraper and is inching slowly towards an open window. Both things that you never think about Santa being involved in.

And once again, just like yesterday's Santa, the box is pretty deceptive:

On the left: Police Lineup Santa
On the right: Santa Glo

That said, he's also nothing like the advertisement from the Sears catalog either:

I remember watching this Western once where the bad guys (yes, I said "bad guys" like an eight year old) tied up a man in the middle of the desert to torture him until he slowly died from baking in the sun. That's what this illustration reminds me of. Picture rope around his wrists and men in black hats snarling through chewing tobacco stained teeth..

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Santa Follows You

2011-12-05T08:36:00.045-06:00

Yesterday I noted that there should be a "Scared Straight" program for holiday blow mold addicts like myself. Then I remembered this awesome wall Santa that my Mom gave me a couple of years ago:

Adequately scary, huh?
This guy should come with a light bulb and a restraining order.

Here's an ad for him from the 1952 Sears catalog:

Is it just me or does he look jollier...friendlier in the ad?

They briefly mention that he's made so that his eyes appear to follow you around the room. Because leering is festive.

But wait until you get a look at the company's name that made him....

Eep.

Of course, I had big hopes that this place would still be open and sending out Santas to ~~follow~~ stalk the masses after all of these years but alas:

A strip mall restaurant

Records show that Santa Follows You, Inc. filed to be a for-profit business on Thursday, April 03, 1952 and then, not a single mention of them ever again. Not a peep. Not a ho ho ho.

Being a huge fan of The Twilight Zone, I like to imagine that this company was set up for a short time only to send these Santas to follow us out into the world (for an eerie purpose that has yet to reveal itself) and then as the clock struck midnight on that Christmas night in 1952 they evaporated into thin air.

Tomorrow (in an attempt to keep the Crazy Santa train rolling on down the tracks), I'll share with you a very nervous Santa.

Until next time (he sees you when you're sleeping..he knows when you're awake),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Coming Soon....Huge Freakin' Santa Head

2011-12-04T14:46:00.003-06:00

There should be a "scared straight" program for blow mold addicts.

Pam's Christmas 1961

2011-12-03T11:36:00.004-06:00

I wanted to share this bit of Christmas past from the Pam films with you today. The part where she dances with her doll is so sweet and I know that some of you vintage toy and doll collectors will recognize that tiny little kitchen set - glorious! This film was taken in 1961 when Pam was five years old. I wish that she were still around. I would have loved to have met her and shared these films with her this Christmas.

For more backstory on the Pam films, please go here.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Dream It. Make It. Wear it. WORK IT!

2011-11-18T10:11:00.002-06:00

I'm nobody without that salad bowl hat. Simply, nobody.

For the Love of Marilyn

2011-11-15T11:31:00.000-06:00

I can't say for sure how this will be as a film but I do believe it's going to be some lovely eye candy to lose ourselves in for a while:

Crafty

2011-11-13T14:52:00.006-06:00

First up:

Well, someone loves cats!

When I've been told that I'm going to be a "crazy old cat lady" one day (and I've heard it often), I've always imagined myself as reeking of cat urine and all of my friends, neighbors and relatives trying to find a tactful way to tell me. Or shuffling around in the grocery store covered in cat hair, trying to get an enormous bag of dry cat food into my cart without falling over. Okay, that last one happens now but still...

If I can be a "crazy old cat lady" like this lady, I'm all in! And seriously, I'm with her in that I can't get enough of making things.

And speaking of making things, do you like making things? My gal pals over at No Pattern Required are having a contest to win a whole slew of fantastic retro inspired Christmas cards. Go on over and if you get a hankering to, make something awesome and enter it in their contest! They're looking for your creations made with thrifted or reused items that are vintage or have a vintage feel. This one has you buckaroos all over it! Three super cool prizes will be awarded and the deadline is November 20th.

Go here for the details, y'all: No Pattern Required

Tell them Eartha said hey and ho! ho! ho! and stuff.

Until next time (remember hot glue burns only build character),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Hey Mister DJ! (and Swoop! There it is!)

2011-11-04T13:35:00.006-05:00

If you're a cat owner, you're probably familiar with the mighty Turbo Scratcher. Here's Pip with hers as a kitten:

My cats go apes over theirs. They only spin the ball when they are tweaked out of their minds on the nip but they love that middle scratching part 24/7. As with anything along that vein, the company gets your pet hooked and then you have to pay a ridiculous amount for the cardboard refills. Every time that we buy some, I moan, "That much?? They're made out of cardboard!" But we pet parents know that if we stop buying those scritchety-scratch refills, our couches will pay the ugly price.

I keep trying to fight it but...enter the cutest thing ever:

by Perpetual Kid

$34.99 for cardboard - ouch! But let me tell you...if I were to accidentally find $34.99 on the sidewalk, my kitties would be mix-mastering it up!

And from cats to birds, I just have to share this amazing video of starlings:

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

We've all got gilligans in us

2011-10-27T15:32:00.003-05:00

My Dad told me that when I was a little kid, I once enthusiastically told him, "We've all got gilligans in us! " Now, this was the era of the those island cast-aways and their three hour tour but in the end, he figured out that I didn't mean gilligans at all, but merely skeletons.

And it's true - we do. And they remain one of my favorite Halloween decorations to this very day.

The center of my Halloween display this year is this one made by my niece, Molly from pasta and beans. Love. It.

I may be biased but I think that she's an art makin' rock star.

Let's go get schooled on some gilligans, shall we?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Well, Hello, Dolly!

2011-10-21T11:46:00.008-05:00

I'm kicking myself for not buying this handmade Dolly Parton soap that I saw in a junk shop recently. I must have lost all country music and kitsch lovin' reasoning!

Okay, to be honest..I think that it was the pantyhose skin. In retrospect, even with my pantyhose craft ban, I may have to give myself just a little wiggle room if it's for the right reason. I think I'll go back and look for it this weekend and if I find it, challenge myself to make a Porter soap to go with it.

We've all got to have goals, you know?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Childhood: Proceed with Caution

2011-10-20T14:01:00.016-05:00

There are a lot of people from my generation who look upon the cautious era that we live in today and wonder how we even survived childhood.

Why, remember how we'd go on family trips in the back of our parents' carpeted, customized vans or in the way-back of station wagons and not wear seat belts? Just bouncing around in the back like crash test dummies while our parents drowned out our shrieks of joy with ELO in the tape deck? And how most of our toys were either choke hazards, painted with lead paint or edged in sharp metal? Bike helmets were for sissies and of course Silly Putty was supposed to go inside of your ears. And you couldn't even consider yourself a real girl unless you'd burned off the top layer of your knuckle skin on an Easy Bake oven. Or a real sister unless you'd been shot in the head with a BB gun. If you never stretched your Stretch Armstrong to the breaking point and got yourself slung into a wall, you were only a shell of a child.

Yes, I guess it really is a wonder that we're not all dead.

My friends and family always joke when Halloween comes around because we feel nostalgic for the plastic masks and costumes. Yes, the same masks that sliced our tongues as we fought valiantly for air. And those costumes that were bound to rip if you moved too far, too fast.

Me and my brother, 1977

Besides the big rumor that people were putting razor blades in apples, I never considered it as a time when any of us were worried about pitfalls and prat falls. That is until I found this little film from the same year, 1977.

Did you see how many times that kid fell down? What the heck was wrong with her? She would have been weeded out fast in the brutal Lord of the Flies atmosphere of my old neighborhood. And my lord, did you see how they took her from an amazing witch to a white robed, reflection taped butt of jokes?

And how many of you shuddered when the girl put sticky tape all over that amazing vintage Halloween sack? My lord. I do admit that I admired the macabre planning ahead aspect of writing one's name and address on your treat bag in case of accident. Because we all know that no kid worth their salt was ever goin' down if not clutching their treat bag in their cold, dead hands.

How about how the mother slaved away to try and make the costume safer only to trash the poor kid's witch mask?? I guarantee you somewhere, that kid had a pair of roller skates without wheels.

Curious about the second part of the film? Will the little girl even be allowed to leave the house? Let's see:

Did you notice that in the party scene, the food bowls were completely empty? That little shindig must have been thrown at the house of the "eat before you go trick-or-treating" family. Would a little Chex Mix have killed them?

And I don't know which was sadder - that kid having to throw out half of her treats when she got home OR the stand-up routines that the children had to perform just to get candy. Did any of you ever have to do that? Is this just a New Jersey thing? I remember my brother and I shrieking, "Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!" and that was it. We were out for cheap thrills - not to entertain the senior set.

And we sure as heck weren't going to wear our Mom's rouge or food coloring when we could be falling off of curbs in plastic masks and putting our lives at risk with impalement by non-sawed-off broomsticks. We'd sooner have our Big Wheels thrown into a fire pit than to wear a dirty old mop head as a wig.

I'll leave you with this clip from one of my favorite shows ever. The Bionic Woman bit gets me every time.

Tell me about your childhood Halloweens, buckaroos! Were your parents the cautious types? Did you run through the night like wild goblins and ghouls until all of the porch lights went out?

Until next time (remember butterscotch and circus peanuts are not considered "treats"),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Christmas with Pam and Family 1958

2011-10-09T11:20:00.007-05:00

I'm absolutely in love with this Christmas reel showing Pam and her family. Pam would have been a little over two years old here. The woman in the plaid pants is her Mom and the man in the red sweater is her Dad. I thank that from the sequence of events and decor and wardrobe changes, they probably opened presents at two different locations: her family home and then her grandparents' home.

This is pretty much how I've always pictured Christmas in 1958 to be. Red ruffled underpants and cowboy outfits. Enjoy!

And as a p.s. - thanks SO much to those of you who donated and passed the word to help get postcards to assist in finding Skippy Lou. Our goal was reached and the postcards will land in mailboxes on Tuesday. All fingers and paws crossed for her safe return home soon. We're still working day and night and hope that we can soon report to you that we've found her. Please send prayers and good thoughts.

Until next time,
x's and o's ,
Eartha

Ahh....The Bread Group

2011-09-29T11:48:00.006-05:00

When I was growing up, biscuits were the thing. Living in the deep South, pretty much every meal had homemade biscuits. I remember watching my Mom's and Grandmother's hands working like whips across a kitchen counter covered in flour and within a few minutes, a well-worn greased pan would be popped into the oven and soon removed to deliver hot and heavenly biscuits.

Strangely enough, even though I lingered in the kitchen like a lost haint when I was growing up, I never learned the biscuit making skills. I've always been more of an exact measurements kind of gal and well, the women in my family have always tended to speak in terms like "just a smidge" and "until it looks right". Recently when I was back home, my Mom was making cornbread and I made her give me every single one of her "smidges" and "until it looks right" before she added them to the bowl so that I could measure them exactly and bring the specifics home and duplicate the magic. Of course, much like trying to capture lightning in a jar, the magic has yet to come even close.

The Mister, being from the Mid-West gets tickled at me sometimes. No matter what meal we are making, I'll say, "Okay, now what for the bread group?" He often argues, "I don't think that we need bread with this." Of course, I bounce a "what in the hee-haw hell?" look off of him and say, "WHERE are you FROM??"

He'll then remind me that his family hardly ever had bread with meals and that they had crescent rolls occasionally on only the most special occasions. (Crescent rolls! Occasionally!) Every time that he tells me, I feel weepy for him. Such a sad upbringing! Why, how on Earth did they get the kids to stop playing outside and come in for meals if not with promises of hot bread? Don't even get me started on how they steam their vegetables out there. Hardly even cooked, I tell ya. Someone could get sick from practices like that.

So that brings us to this fantastic song by The Coon Creek Girls. I think that more songs should end with "wow..wow..wow! wow! wow!" And seriously, any tune that challenges me to eat as many biscuits as possible is a-okay in my book:

I once worked with a realtor who had on his business card "Too Much Jelly For Just One Biscuit". I never really know how that applied to real estate but it seems to fit well here.

Learn the fascinating story behind The Coon Creek Girls here including how they performed for President Roosevelt and the First Lady as well as a high-falootin' King and Queen.

Until next time (if biscuits are wrong, I don't wanna be right)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Johnnie Wright Will Be Missed

2011-09-27T17:24:00.008-05:00

We lost another great one today. Johnnie Wright passed away today in his home. He was a solo performer as well as half of the chart-topping duo Johnnie and Jack. Strangely enough, we've got another Patsy Cline connection here - the Jack in the duo was Jack Anglin who died in a car crash on the way to a memorial service for Patsy, Hawkshaw Hawkins, Cowboy Copas, and Randy Hughes.

Johnnie is also well-known as the husband of the great Kitty Wells who is still with us.

Here is a really interesting article on his life and career. It also gives a behind the scenes look at how he convinced Kitty to change her name to such and brought her the now famous song "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels":

Johnnie Wright, country star and husband of Kitty Wells, dies at 97

May he rest in peace.

Here he is with Bill Phillips and his daughter Ruby who passed in 2009:

Pam's Third Birthday and Christmas 1959

2011-09-25T12:25:00.002-05:00

This film shows Pam on her third birthday with her parents and all of her grandparents. There are also some beautiful scenes at the end with Pam and her Mom decorating the Christmas tree and some great shots of some nice Southern home cooking. And don't miss the glimpses of a super cool red and white kitchen.

This was the first of the Pam films that I bought. Mister Kitsch and I set off on a hunt to find an 8mm projector that weekend after we bought the first film. When I first laid eyes on the pastel sweetness at the beginning of this film, I was hooked. I began brainstorming to come up with a way to get the money to buy them all. In the end, I would go and buy a few each time that I got some spending money. As fate would have it, they always stayed on the shelf waiting for me to bring them all home.

Let's go back to 1959, shall we?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Wilma Lee Will Be Missed

2011-09-16T17:31:00.002-05:00

We lost one of our great classic bluegrass and country music stars today, Wilma Lee Cooper. Here she is with her husband Stoney and The Clinch Mountain Clan:

Wilma Lee and Stoney began recording in the late 1940s, then performed regularly on the Opry from 1957 until Stoney passed away in 1977. She was known as "The First Lady of Bluegrass" and continued to perform until she had a stroke while performing on stage at the Opry in 2001. The doctors said she would never walk again but she fought tooth and nail and regained use of her legs a few years later. She died today in her home of natural causes.

Rest in peace, Wilma Lee. I hope that Stoney met you on the other side with a song. You really do make a lovely couple.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Happy Birthday George

2011-09-12T14:24:00.006-05:00

I had to take a moment and leave a little birthday tribute to George Jones today. It's his eightieth birthday today! That would make him thirty four years old in this video.

The man singing there with him is also quite awesome. He's George "Georgie" Riddle and because everything seems to be six degrees from Patsy Cline these days, he and George Jones both performed at that last concert that Patsy ever did.

And along with George, this song is also dedicated to my buddy Sara and her Mister who were here for moonshine and a real live possum at our house around this time last year. And heck, I just realized that a lot of things in my life somehow always revolve back around to moonshine, possums and Patsy. I like that.

Here's a toast to "The Possum" George Jones and to evenings with white lightnin' and enormous possums in the driveway:

The Search Goes On

2011-09-12T08:54:00.008-05:00

Sorry for missing our scheduled Sunday episode of Pam's home movies. We're still on the frantic hunt for Skippy Lou. Today is her birthday and on Friday, her Mom starts chemotherapy.

If you're praying folks, pray for a miracle. And if anyone has any media contacts (TV, newspapers, blogs - local or national) please let me know. We had the following local coverage from one news station but due to the tennis matches, it came on right before midnight instead of the three earlier time slots when people would have seen it. We really need media coverage right now. And reinforcements. Skippy Lou has been missing for a month tomorrow and though we have possible sightings, she isn't home yet.

x's and o's,
Eartha

Patsy's Things

2011-09-06T16:30:00.005-05:00

Hey buckaroos! I've got a special treat for you today. Would you like to peek into Patsy Cline's jewelry box?

Now I wish that I could say that I found these items while rambling about in my attic but sadly, I had to photograph them through dimly lit plexiglass for you at Willie Nelson's museum. More on the museum coming up later in the week but here's a quick peek at their Patsy display. What fascinated me most was her jewelry box and the contents donated with:

Love these dice earrings

And the little horseshoes

These cute little wagons didn't appear to be jewelry - maybe just little trinkets? And I'm not sure if the guns and holsters are brooches or maybe diaper pins. I've seen vintage diaper pins just like these before. The exhibit wasn't labeled very well so it's anyone's guess...

Here's Patsy and Charlie on their wedding day:

And here you can see the whole display including her gold jacket and beautiful gown:

And I love these two shots of her:

This photo is said to be one of the last ever taken of her on the night that she died.

These items were donated by Patsy's husband, Charlie. On a related note (and talk about dream finds) did you know that Marty Stuart once found Patsy's makeup case at an antique store in the eighties? He got it for a mere seventy five dollars! You can read about it here. It was in a local exhibition recently and I missed seeing it by one day. I got my dates mixed up and by the time I got there, it was gone. I was so sad!

Hey, maybe Marty will invite me over to see it one day. With how odd this year has been, one just never knows. If he does, I'll be sure and get photos for you!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Pam and her folks go to Missouri

2011-09-04T10:38:00.004-05:00

This one is from 1958 and shows a lot of Pam's Mom (who is usually behind the camera) along with her Dad and several other relatives.

More Wig-Wagging With Wallace - with the History Detectives

2011-09-03T07:03:00.000-05:00

This just in: Remember that post that I did on the Wig-Wagging With Wallace exercise record set? We knew back then that the History Detectives were going to do a show about Wallace and boy, I've been anxiously awaiting it's premiere next Tuesday. But wait! They posted it online early! Here you'll learn lots more about our good friend, Wallace:

Watch the full episode. See more History Detectives.

Pretty impressive, huh? Go Wallace!

It looks like they'll even be posting Wallace's exercise routines on their website soon if you're inclined to do some wig-wagging yourself!

Until next time (a one and a two and a three!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Lassoing, Tap Dancing, Somersaulting, Jump Roping Eleanor

2011-09-02T09:50:00.001-05:00

Simply Ah-mazing! Look at her go, y'all!

And to think that I get out of breath just doing dishes.

Bits and Pieces

2011-09-01T16:23:00.008-05:00

Today's post is made up of things that I find interesting but in no way can form an entire post around. Let's see where my failure as a writer gets us, shall we?

First off, this chair:

I LOVE this chair! The colors..the pattern. Hello, gorgeous! Unfortunately, I have asthma and can't have any thickly upholstered furniture in the house. Sad! But if anyone in Nashville would like this chair and has the breathing capacity of a healthy person, it was recently spotted at the Habitat for Humanity store on 8th Avenue and it's only thirty five bucks. Let my lung function loss be your gain!

Also spotted at the same store:

Giant puppy photo collage! Kapow! I asked the Mister to stand next to it for scale. He's about 6'4" so let me assure you that this thing is huge. And no, your eyes don't deceive you - in the bottom shot, he's conducting business at a very fancy desk! That little dog is about to sign some checks! This is the kind of thing that I love and if I had a huge home, I'd probably have it on my wall right now. I absolutely adore it when people are so into their pets that they commit to them on a large scale. And by large scale, I mean this large. I kind of can't stop thinking about it actually. So, I'd better move on.

Today, I was checking my website stats. I like to see where you all come from and how you find Ranch Dressing. Of course, there are lots of hits from folks looking to make salad dressing. And though most of those are searching for a zesty dressing with buttermilk and herbs, today I had someone find the site by looking up "bull sperm in salad dressing". Yes, you heard me right.

All together now: Ewwwwwww!

Looks like the tomato, celery and onion have not received the memo yet.

And being the intrepid reporter that I am, I researched just that. For about one minute total. And in a round-about way, it exists. And we can just stop right there. Maybe it's time for a good distraction such as taking a peek at some of the other searches that brought readers here:

Guilty as charged! And yes, for those of you who are long-time readers , you know that it's time to shield your eyes.

Ready?

Set!

Now!

Ha! Sorry...I never get tired of that one.

In a stroke of luck, something that I have might come in handy right now. It's a card that my friend, Amber gave me and I happen to have it right here next to my desk. Here's a little respite for your pretty heads in the form of things that are pleasant - and in no way will remind you of fifteen folks bumping sterns and bows in a small barrel full of tepid water:

Okay, enough dawdling. Back to the list!

Oh, bleh! That one is definitely a big 10-4 as cave crickets are one of my biggest fears. Did you know that they are completely blind so they have a heightened sense of danger? And that when feeling threatened, they don't jump away but AT you? AND get this - if they get trapped and have no food, they'll eat their own legs off !! Holy mother of....Shudder. Dear cave cricket researcher, I hope that you found what you were looking for before they ate your eye sockets clean.

Up next:

Aww! So sweet! But unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that this person went away without any valuable information from me. I never went to prom and was most likely at home practicing the art of kissing the back of my hand or one of my Duran Duran posters. Sorry, lovelorn! If it's not too late and you're still here, I say just lay one on them. Though, don't slobber on your intended's face or in their nose.

That's a pretty good tip for most of life's big nerve-wracking moments actually. Don't over-think it. And don't leave slobber.

With that, I'll leave you with this edition of Bits and Pieces.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Audio Crush: Pokey LaFarge

2011-09-01T11:57:00.004-05:00

My ole timey heart has a crush on the stylings of a man named Pokey:

Our House's Brush With Greatness

2011-08-29T08:21:00.011-05:00

Last night, we had our neighbor over for dinner. He's in his late sixties and has lived in the house next door all of his life. He grew up there as a child and after time in the army, came back to live with his parents. They've both passed on and now he lives there alone. I was anxious to ask him questions about the neighborhood and what he remembered of our house and the people that have lived here. Boy, he didn't disappoint.

My first question was, "What do you think was the craziest thing that has ever happened on our street?" Well, he sat and thought for a moment and just when I thought he wasn't going to come up with anything, his eyes lit up and he said, "Oh! I have one!"

I stopped him with, "Okay, first off...nobody got murdered in our house, right?"

He laughed and said, " No...No...Well, not yet at least!" then went on to tell us about a teenager who was a real trouble maker around the neighborhood in the sixties.

The kid and his family lived across the street and a few houses down. At the same house as the lady who came beating on my back door one day trying to make me give her the Jack-o-lanterns off of my front porch. I guess that house has had quite a few characters in it!

Anyway, this kid was always breaking into the neighbors' houses and robbing them when they weren't home. A real delinquent from the way it sounded (or "rabble rouser" as they used to say back in the day). So, this kid also had a penchant for making explosives. He liked to blow things up in the back yard. Comforting, no? Well, one day, the guy just blew his hand completely off! Horrible, yes...but I'm sure that all of the neighbors who'd had their houses broken into may have just considered it justice for the now one-handed burglar.

Our neighbor couldn't remember when the family moved away but he did recall that shortly after the accident, the kid was sent to live with family. As they did back in the day.

A while later, we were telling our neighbor that there was a house on our old street where Porter Wagoner and Minnie Pearl used to go to parties and dance right on the living room rug. Then out of the blue, he says very casually, "Patsy Cline used to come to your house." The Mister and I stopped dead in our tracks to make sure that we heard him right. And we did. Patsy Cline! He said that she'd come to visit one of her friends who lived right here in our little ranch! He said she was over all the time. Whee!

So, of course after our neighbor left last night, Mister Kitsch and I were doing dishes and going on about, "I bet she stood right here in THIS kitchen!" and "She used the pink bathroom. You KNOW she did!!" "She touched our front door knob!"

I asked our neighbor if she ever wore her gold cigarette pants when over but he couldn't remember. I told him, "Oh, if she'd worn them, you would remember!" That said, as any folklore allows for wiggle room, I've been picturing her sitting in our living room next to the faux fireplace, wearing those gold pants and having iced tea.

I woke up this morning and remembering our house's brush with greatness, loved it just a little bit more. Love and Patsy Cline - the perfect kind of ranch dressing. And I think that calls for a double dose of Patsy! What do you say, kids?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Pam and the Rabbits

2011-08-28T11:35:00.003-05:00

Hey all,

It's time for installment number one of the Pam films.

In this one, you'll see Pam when she was just shy of two years old in July of 1958.

She was so cute, wasn't she? I promise not to give a lot of unneeded commentary on the films but just to associate you with the people that you'l usually see: The man in the film with the rabbits and the lady that you see him wrestle with (he seems to do that a lot) are her grandparents on her father's side. They always seemed to have a lot of rabbit hutches so maybe they sold rabbits?

Pam's Mom will usually be behind the camera but there will be some films later on where we'll see a little bit of her too. The man smoking the cigarettes is Pam's father. The other two older folks in the video (the lady and man on the porch) seem to be the other set of grandparents. And you'll also see a smattering of other relatives as well. She seemed to have been a very loved little girl.

Hit It Mister Butters!

2011-08-26T19:47:00.004-05:00

My new favorite thing:

along with my old favorite thing:

My Not-So-Secret Love of Square Dancing

2011-08-25T13:29:00.013-05:00

When I was just a small girl, I fell completely head-over-heels in love with square dancing. Unlike a lot of people that I've talked to from my age group, I never got to do it in elementary school gym class - but boy, would I have loved to!

My romance with square dancing began when my great aunts and uncles would stop by my grandparents' house on the way to go to their dances. My Grandmother always encouraged them to come by so that she could see their pretty outfits. I lived next door and whenever I'd see the relatives pull up and pile out in their dancing duds, I ran over as fast as I could.

Aunt Inez & Uncle Cal ~~ Uncle Buddy & Aunt Edna

To me, they were pure magic - the ladies in their big swishing skirts and cute Mary Jane dance shoes (sometimes in gold metallic...be still my heart) and their husbands perfectly matched by color and pattern complete with handsome bolo and bow ties. I'd always giggle at how when in these dresses, only two women could sit on my grandparents' long couch which usually could seat five people. Petticoats took up some real estate!

I'd be remiss if I didn't insert one of my favorite quotes ever here. It's from the movie, Calamity Jane:

This town ain't big enough! Not for me and that frilled-up, flirtin', man-rustlin' petticoat, it ain't!

And I'd watch under the porch light as they got into the car to leave. Each husband would help his wife into the car and then quickly shove her wide dress and crinolines inside before hastily shutting the door before they could spring out again. You could tell that it took some practice to get both the wives and the dresses into the same car. And these were the days when cars were big! I also remember that both of my Aunts wore just the softest hint of perfume so with every swish, the air was filled with flowers.

Several times, I went with my Grandparents to watch them square dance. The dances were held at an outdoor open-air pavilion next to the lake. It was set amongst big pine trees and I can remember how dark and still the woods were with the tops of towering pine branches just barely silhouetted against moonlight and the water lightly lapping the shore. In the middle, this large wooden pavilion that appeared as if a carousel when the dancers spun round and round in swirls of color in response to the steps melodically encouraged by the caller.

"Promenade! Now circle left! Now weave the ring!"

I'd give anything to go back there again. I've toyed with the idea of taking up square dancing for a long time now. I even once talked The Mister into trying it with me but we never have. I think it's time to see if he's still up for it. I've found several classes being offered in our area. One in a senior citizen's center. Hello, I bet you know which one I'm going to choose!

I've collected some square dance items through the years and here are some of my favorites:

I have two different square dance lesson records with Ed Gilmore. Inside, there are books that show the different steps as well as many full-color shots of Ed and the dancers.

Okay, forget the dancers. I'll admit to having quite the Ed Gilmore crush. It's lucky for Mister Kitsch that I only get crushes on unattainable men from the past.

One of my other favorite pieces is this Phun Phelt (so fun that we don't even need to use the letter " f ") applique:

I've had this for many years and it was given to me by the owner of a junk shop. When I found it, I let out the biggest squeal and I guess that the owner thought that I should have it. He was this sweet little elderly man and as we got to talking, for some reason he told me that he sometimes went fishing with Jerry Reed. Wowee!

I'm trying to figure out what to compare those few minutes to so that you kids these days might be able to understand. Let's see... It's as if you went into a junk shop and there amongst the undesirable items, found a brand new I-Pad and the owner just gave it to you. And then he told you that he sometimes plays X-Box with Justin Bieber.

You dig? I was stoked! I have yet to be able to commit to ironing this applique onto anything. I just can't find anything cool enough to deserve it. So, it stays in a frame just waiting...

Maybe when I get my first trophy for winning a square dancing competition, I'll put them both in a shadowbox together. See that? That's using the power of positive thinking.

Promenade!

I was so excited to find this mini documentary on square dancing today and to hear that it won the American Documentary/POV award:

Watch the full episode. See more POV.

My heart just leaps when the man says, "You get to swing the one you brung twice!" Being a married lady, I also notice a little cringe from his wife when he says it as if she has heard that same joke a hundred times. Super cute, those two.

Though I expected such, I hated to hear that it's still mostly the senior set that enjoys square dancing. Maybe like many things considered "vintage", it will see a come-back. Maybe square dancing will be the next mustache on a stick or zombie apocalypse. I bet that you kids get what I'm saying but if not, I'll be happy to tie Justin Bieber into that one too!

But enough of Justin Bieber. It's sad to think of him being eaten by flesh-hungry zombies while trying to fight them off with that mustache on a stick. Let's talk about something happier. Like square dancing! What about you buckaroos? Anyone know how to square dance? Do tell!

I'm going to leave you with this curious little video from Lucky Strike. See! Square dancing used to be so cool that ad men tried to sell cigarettes with it!

Until next time (Bow to your partner! Bow to your corner!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Breaking News out of Nashville

2011-08-23T11:55:00.020-05:00

Hey buckaroos! How many of you felt the earthquake today? Wowee, crazy!

We didn't get any here in Nashville but as we're not ones to be outdone, we had our own scare to worry about:

I would so love to say that I was late to work because of displaced bull semen.

"It was no different to us than if a mattress fell off a truck," said transportation spokeswoman B.J. Doughty.

And in other news:

Hot dog! I bet you anything that this will be the last time that my Ranch Dressing source files read "bull semen" and "Barbara Mandrell's couch" all in the same day. It's one of those rare occurrences. Kind of like Halley's Comet.

In more free couch related news:

Trust me. That's the kind of two-for-one special that one can find a lot around here. Don't jump on the first one.

That reminds me - one of my friends once posted a free mattress on Craigslist. Guess who called him about it? Brenda Lee! Yes, THAT Brenda Lee. So, I was all excited..you know, trying to think up a way to get myself invited over when she came to look at it. Maybe even help deliver it to her house and accidentally never leave. But then he told me that she wasn't getting the mattress because someone else had called first. I was completely out of my mind with remorse. Who denies Brenda Lee their used mattress?? I considered immediately listing my own mattress to see if she would call me but in the end, I let the dream die.

And in unrelated news, it's been decided that our most historic alley shouldn't be like an alley at all but like a beautiful thoroughfare.

What makes it so hilarious is that one: it's an alley. It's supposed to have garbage cans and potholes and beer bottles. And it's supposed to smell. And two: the reason that it's historic is because the country stars back in the day used to use it for access to the back door of the Ryman before and after their Grand Ole Opry performances. As people do in alleys. These stars hung out there. And used it as a thoroughfare to get to the honky tonks. It was an alley then and it was a-okay. If tourists don't want to go through the alley, then go around for pete's sake.

I love it when the teenage girl says, "It smells like beer. It just doesn't smell like Nashville." Seriously, hon. We have beer for breakfast here and learn to burp our own last names before we're in middle school. Okay, I jest. Sorta. But hello, you know what's connected to that alley? Honky tonks. With beer.

Anyhoo...as you can probably tell, it's a pretty big news day in Nashville. I promise to interrupt your soap operas if any more urgent news comes across the wire.

x's and o's (and beer, Barbara and bull semen),
Eartha

The Pam Films

2011-08-22T09:22:00.020-05:00

The Mister and I spent yesterday watching and digitizing Pam's films. I figured I'd dream about her last night and I surely did. Though in my dreams, she was an adult. It may have been because I told the Mister during the archiving that I hoped that Pam was watching along with us in the next life and smoothly guiding the films through the projector's creaky old unpredictable mechanisms.

There are thirteen films that show tiny portions of six years of her life. In total, a mere fifty minutes of her story. There were so many times that I wanted to shriek out with glee over certain scenes but had to clasp my hands over my mouth so that I wouldn't be recorded along with the audio.

Since most of the scenes show her at family gatherings, I'm going to post one each Sunday. I remember Sundays as when my family always gathered together for food and laughter, watching the young kids play until dirty and limp while the relatives told the same stories over and over. Then we'd all pile into cars for home with our empty casserole dishes, exhausted but happy.

Without fail, the adults would yell out, "Y'all come go with us..." to those staying behind. Or an abbreviated "Y'all come! ". Then to complete the call-and-response, the answer would come back, "Nah...I guess we'd better stay here..". As a kid, I always wondered if anyone ever did jump in the car and come with - as I'd scoot sideways on the seat a little to make room for any possible stowaways. But as an adult, I realize that what made these visits special was not only the hellos.. but also the goodbyes.

Though I feel sad to have watched the last of Pam's films, I look forward to sharing them with you all. Y'all come...

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Hey Nashville Peeps!

2011-08-19T15:41:00.010-05:00

Update to this post: I just heard that the sale was a huge success. Thanks to everyone who stopped by to help out Charlotte and to give a boost to the kind rescue folks helping her along! - tons of x's and o's, Eartha

If you're in the Nashville area, please stop by 1412 Woodland in East Nashville tomorrow for a yard sale and bake sale to raise money for vet bills for Charlotte, the pup. Charlotte was found on a country church step and has been battling anemia, mange, malnutrition and juvenile celulitis, a rare but very serious condition which restricts the airway until choking occurs. She is under intense medical treatment but is doing well - and is getting love in leaps and bounds.

Here is some info on Charlotte from her Facebook page written by the amazing person who rescued her:

Charlotte was found lying in the doorway of a church, way out on a country road....who knows how far she had dragged her broken, weary little body to get there? Members of the congregation gave her food and water, but nobody would take her in. Little Charlotte watched as, one by one, they all drove away, until she was left alone again...and darkness began to fall. When I arrived that night, Charlotte was still lying in the doorway of that church, lonely, frightened, in pain...but waiting still for salvation, hoping for sanctuary. I knew I had no room for her, as my home is already refuge to many rescues. I have no money for the kind of care she needs. But this little puppy had faith, so I will have faith, too....faith that you will help her, faith that she will make a full recovery and leave pain and fear far behind her. She is only a baby, about 3 months old.. She is suffering from malnutrition and severe mange.

The sale is being put on by the Labor of Love Animal Welfare Project and there will be lots of awesome buys and delicious treats to be had and it's for a great cause. I'm dropping off some dog cupcakes and cookies and will definitely be checking out both the yard sale and the bake sale - two things that I can't pass up. Especially for as great of a cause as that sweet pup, Charlotte.

The fundraiser runs between 8:00 and 2:00 on Saturday, August 20th. The organization is already up to 90% of their $3500 goal to pay for her vet bills. Come help them meet and even exceed that goal if you can. And if you want to donate yard sale or bake sale items, they'll be glad to have them too.

You can learn more about Charlotte and Saturday's event here on her Facebook page as well as see photos of her condition when she was found and how she's looking now:

Charlotte's page

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers and if you can, come out and support this sweet pup who has had a long road to recovery and safety. And if you can't attend and would like to donate, here is how: Funds for Charlotte

Thanks all!

x's and o's,
Eartha

Pam

2011-08-12T22:43:00.013-05:00

I love to collect other peoples' memories. Their painted portraits and photographs. Their slides and films. Their carefully penned letters and their scribbles on the fronts of cookbooks. I don't know why but I'm able to completely engross myself in their worlds even if I've never met them. I've always been really interested in people and their stories. Even if I can only get mere clues to those stories from the visual snippets that I find.

Recently, the Mister and I were walking around a really bad flea market and were not only near the end of the aisles but also the end of our ropes from the frustration of looking at horribly boring merchandise. It was then that I saw them - a large pile of 8mm films.

I went over to them and started reading the handwritten notes on the outside:

1963 Florida
Pam and I Decorating The Tree
Pam's Third Birthday Party
Pam and The Rabbits
Pam's Fourth Birthday and the Christmas Snow

There were thirteen films in all and they ranged from the mid-nineteen fifties to the mid-nineteen sixties. I was absolutely dying to see what was on those films. It felt like I was meant to find them and they had this incredible magnetic pull. Which was strange because I didn't even own an 8mm projector. And I'd seen 8mm films for sale before and had never taken them home. Before I knew it, I'd bought several of them and the weekend ended with yes, the purchase of an old film projector. Before long, Pam and her family's memories were playing on our living room wall:

Bit by bit, I went back and got the rest of those films. I've learned since that Pam, the sweet little girl on the films has passed away and that the items from her home were cast off.

Knowing of her early death, it's sad to look at her and her family in the happy times in these films. I feel like I know what's going to happen to her and I want so badly to leap inside of the movie's flickering reels and tell her to enjoy life to it's fullest - to soak it up and then when she thinks that she's had her fill, to soak it up even more. I can't help but wonder why her family didn't keep the films. Maybe it was too sad for them to see her there too.

I'll treasure her movies - her memories - and take good care of them and one day, her collection will merge into mine and be found by someone else - and to them, it will seem like she and I are family. Maybe that's why I found the films that day. In a flea market that I don't usually go to - on that last aisle, on the last shelf.

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. ~George Eliot

Solid Potato Salad Redux

2011-08-06T11:00:00.003-05:00

I posted a version of this video of the Ross Sisters last Summer but noticed that this YouTube user has posted a pristine copy of it with beautiful crystal clear quality. So I thought I'd post again. It's my favorite video in the history of the world. Enjoy!

Cats With Thumbs

2011-08-04T13:03:00.012-05:00

I saw this video over at Sue's fantastic blog I Got Stuff On My Mind and I swear, I laughed so hard that I was crying.

Since I've spent the good part of the morning removing all of the cute knick-knacks from the shelves next to the sink in the kitchen because Pip, the tuxedo kitty has learned to climb them, I think it may already be a reality. And did I mention that she fought back by removing the refrigerator magnets from the fridge with her paws, sending my paper treasures flying all over the kitchen? This commercial is completely based in reality. What do cats have? Lots of time. What do they do with it? Hatch evil plots. You can't convince me otherwise.

You see this?

One day, Ranch Dressing will go silent and you will know that I'm right.

Anyhoo... At the moment, we're still currently up so enjoy the video! - and thanks to Sue for letting me share!

Dino-mite!

2011-08-03T13:42:00.004-05:00

Another agony of defeat story from Craiglist today. I couldn't help but notice an ad for a free dinosaur. Of course, I figured it was a toy dinosaur. So imagine my surprise when I clicked the link:

That's right - a nine foot long dinosaur! For free! (And seriously..how cool is this teacher that she let her kids make this?)

I jumped into action. The first order of business was getting the Mister to say that I could have him for the patio. And he did! - but the only stipulation was that I needed to find someone to haul him home. Oh, the agony of driving a tiny compact car! I zapped off a few hectic texts and emails to friends begging, "Do you know ANYONE who can help me move a nine foot dinosaur??" but as you'd expect, got no takers.

And then, someone else got the dinosaur before I could. Sigh...

I could just picture myself in a pickup truck with my new friend, the dinosaur perched precariously in the back on his way to his new home at the ranch. And the cute eyes that I was going to paint on him. And the natty vest.

I'll have to hand it the award as the best "free" ad that I've seen on Craigslist in a while though!

And maybe I can talk the Mister into building our own dinosaur in the Fall when it gets cooler. I'll add it to the list.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Wig-Wagging With Wallace

2011-07-14T18:40:00.036-05:00

Hanging out in the Mister's studio sometimes yields interesting results. Today, he has been archiving some of his records and I came in just in time to hear a little bit of "Keep Fit To Music", a "reduction" record set put out in 1941 by Wallace Reducing Records. The set was produced and distributed by the man himself, Wallace.

Yep, that's Wallace!

It's a lively mixture of marching band music, swingy tunes and other instrumentals mixed with Wallace's ever-present and enthusiastic voice of instruction.

The set includes six records and assorted guides, along with a letter from Wallace encouraging the lady of the house to pay seventeen dollars on his "easy payment plan" to lose weight, shape up and regain their "lost pep". Why, he even brags that many people pay as much as three hundred dollars to attend his classes. Even though that was a boatload of cash in the forties, it's still easy to believe Wallace. The enclosed booklets written by him practically ooze assurance - and the ever-present photos of his trustworthy face put a person at ease right away.

Or make one feel on edge. It's the eyes really.

One of the high points of the set for me is this booklet:

You may be asking yourself, "What is this 'Woman's Birthright' that is spoken of? Menstruation? Unwanted facial hair? Pay scales that don't match those awarded to male counterparts?" ( or you might just be thinking, "I didn't know that they could show naked lady nipple silhouettes in the forties") Either/or. Let's look inside, shall we?

First, a note from Wallace (and again with those eyes):

Whew! I bet he was really sweating bullets when those radios came in to vogue!

And how about a little of the introduction?

Thanks for the guilt trip, Wallace! I love the part where he says, "And beauty is a normal condition. If more women realized this - there would be more beautiful women."

Oh, snap! I also like the line: "Beauty is not a 'gift', but a reward for obeying Nature's laws."

Got it. Obey nature's laws. Can do.

(Unless nature has a law against Cheeto's and then well, slap the cuffs on me, Wallace!)

The booklet also includes some testimonials. This one from Mr. Frank Peterson:

Frank is enjoying his "new wife"! Let's hear it for those streamlined broads! Admittedly, she does look much more svelte and happy. One point for Wallace.

Here is another testimonial. This time from Mrs. Walter Smith:

Go Mrs. Walter Smith! She may have lost a couple of chins (color me jealous) but she didn't lose her taste in sweeeet hats. Oh okay, another point for Wallace.

Now before we get too excited and get our workout mats ready, a warning from Wallace:

And maybe we should look at his reduction tips:

So, wait..wait..he not only wants us to exercise but he also wants us to sweat ourselves into heat exhaustion? Who among us has ever worked out inside of our homes while wearing men's thermal underwear with fleece lining and thick Winter socks? After drinking hot water and before wrapping ourselves in a thick blanket while our life slowly drains from our body as we wait for our warm baths to reach capacity in our steam filled bathrooms? (If you have, don't tell me because I can't even bear to think of it.)

Before I get too riled up (and I am sure at this point that it's easy for you all to tell that I don't like to suffer for weight loss), let's take a look at the diagrams:

The Wig-Wag!

The Bicycle!

Wait one New York minute! That broad isn't wearing the grungy old, fleece lined long underwear that she got out of her husband's drawer! What's up with that??

Oh! There's Wallace again! And he's looking straight through to my soul!
I swear to you, Wallace! I've obeyed every single law that nature has put forth!

I'd better pipe down. Or else he's liable to send me to his torture chamber:

Nah, that's only one of his homemade workout machines:

(For you ladies who don't want to make the men in your life mad by screwing eye hooks and rope into the nice baseboard, just put your feet under the front of the couch. Disclaimer: This isn't Wallace's tip but mine - from the days when I wasn't afraid of exercise.)

Now, I think it's time for what I'm sure your hearts have been longing for - a little bit of ear candy from Wallace. Here he leads us through the mule kick. Don't miss how he kind of loses himself towards the end and starts to sing. I love it!:

Ole'!

Upon researching Wallace, I learned that his last name was Rogerson and that he did these records for many decades. I found ads for the record sets from the twenties right on up to the fifties. It seems that one could send away for the first record for free and then the sales pitch for the other records in the set would begin. From what I can tell from reading a pretty confusing legal affidavit regarding the use of his name, he passed away in 1943 and his widow continued the mail order record business until 1959. Here is one of the ads from 1950:

Photo Courtesy of Duke University Libraries Digital Collections

As evidenced in the ad, he also used to have a "Get Thin To Music" radio show. I couldn't find much more except that where his office used to be is now a T.G.I. Friday's restaurant. Considering the calorie counts in that place, I don't think he'd appreciate that!

And if you're interested, here is a really cool website that shows the most awesome ad for the record set from the twenties and tells about how a "History Detectives" show has been done for PBS on these very same reducing records:

History Detectives

That ought to be a great episode and it's definitely going on my calendar. Maybe there will be some fascinating inside scoop on Wallace! It should air in September.

I'm planning on talking the Mister into doing a month of Wallace's plan with me. I'll report back. I'm sure that I'll reduce down to just a tiny sliver of a thing!

Until next time (one..two..three..four...one...two..three..four)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Five Alarm Color Critique

2011-07-01T15:09:00.002-05:00

Recently, I was standing in the kitchen making dinner when all of a sudden this huge ear piercing alarm went off. I was completely confused because it was going off in the dining room and we don't have a smoke alarm in that direction. Cats were running terrified everywhere, doing that low-to-the-floor run as if they thought that a barrage of bullets might fly through at any second.

Clutching my ears, I ran into the dining room and realized that it was our carbon monoxide alarm. It came with the house and we'd never heard it before. And let me say that I have never heard anything that loud and ear splitting in my life! So, I stumbled over to look at it and it's flashing in big red letters "GAS" over and over with a heaping load of urgency.

So, I immediately realized that we had a carbon monoxide leak which I knew could kill us really fast. The Mister runs in and we're both like, "What do we do?!?!" I mean, we knew that we should get out of the house but the thing was, all of the cats had run off to hide and were completely missing. I jumped on the internet and learned that a carbon monoxide leak can kill you within just a few minutes and soon, we would pass out and not wake back up. The internet information said to open windows and to not turn any lights or electrical appliances off or on. Oh, and to get out of the house!

We opened as many windows as would open (which in an old house means that we opened three) and meanwhile I'm screaming, "Oh god..I AM dizzy!" as the Mister called 9-1-1. The operator told him that we needed to get out of the house immediately and to not look back (how many times do we have to be told anyway?).

But, of course, we were too worried about the kitties to leave. Would they be dead soon? What do we do? And of course, we didn't see a single one of them. Then we realized that even if we DO see them, we don't have enough cat carriers for all of them. My eyes darted around the room as I surveyed each and every item, wondering if it might carry a cat in an emergency: Bread box? Pillowcase? That ottoman with the lid?

We finally decided that we had better get outside and as we were talking to the 9-1-1 operator, this big ole fire truck comes roaring up with the siren and the lights on, illuminating the entire neighborhood into an ear piercing disco. "Hello, neighbors! yes..it's us! The Kitsch Family! The ones with the paint samples all over our trim and the pink toilet in the driveway, tackying up the neighborhood! Nice to meet y'all!" Three big ole burly firemen leaped out of the truck and said, "Where is it?". We pointed to the back door and they skedaddled. Suddenly, they're all in our house, walking around with these fancy meters beeping. The Mister and I were outside gasping, "OH MY GOSH! THE KITTIES! THE COMPUTER SAID JUST MINUTES IS ALL IT TAKES!!" as we watched the firemen doing recon through the windows.

Sooner or later, the fire chief came out and told us that they didn't detect anything. Nothing at all. They said that it could be a faulty detector. I must have just been caught up in the moment and thought that I felt dizzy. Or maybe it was an adrenaline rush. I mean, the good news is that we didn't die - but hello - SO freaking scary... and kind of embarrassing!

After he told us that we weren't in any danger, two of the other firemen came out and were absolutely dying laughing. One of them said to us "which one of y'all were born in the fifties?" and we both said, "Neither". He then kind of rolled his eyes and pointed in our dining room window and said, "Are y'all seeing what I'M seeing?"

I answered, "Oh! Well we were born in the 70's but it wasn't our favorite time so we're trying to..uh...capture... something?" It was obvious that while we were outside freaking out because we thought that our cats were dying or that our house was going to explode in a giant fireball, they'd been inside making fun of our house colors. The other fireman then said "What color are you going to paint the outside? BRIGHT PURPLE? NEON GREEN?" and they all erupted into laughter. The Mister and I both chirped, "Aqua!" and they looked at each other and shook their heads as if they'd just seen a two headed calf walk up the sidewalk.

Needless to say, we learned a lot that night: Carbon monoxide detectors can save lives. We need three cat carriers. Oh, and that one minute, you can be making yourself a sandwich in your kitchen and the next, you're being made to feel like a freak show by the local fire department!

Until next time (make those emergency plans, folks)
x's and o's,
Eartha

A Lullaby For My Buckaroos

2011-06-28T18:44:00.006-05:00

Hello my sweet buckaroos. I have a lullaby for you.

The Moylan Sisters: Peggy Joan and Marianne

Aren't they sweet? And I assure you that the film is actually just a little washed out. They had noses in real life. Here is an interesting website on the cute little scamps: The Moylan Sisters Lots of good memorabilia, songs and articles there for the perusing.

And don't miss this cute jingle: Thrivo Dogfood with The Moylan Sisters.

He's very much alive-o.. - LOVE it!

Until next time,
x's and o's and zzzzzzzzzzz's,
Eartha

A Turquoise Dream Realized

2011-06-27T14:13:00.049-05:00

As I do, I was recently poking around online dreaming about vintage appliances. It's true - the romance is dead between me and my modern lackluster appliances. As luck would have it, I came across a super cool video on YouTube by a gentleman named Paul Chaks. In it, Paul details how he made his dream of a beautiful vintage come true. I find it very inspiring and wow, it's gorgeous..so I wanted to share it with you all! See now how one man's dream turned into a beautiful reality:

Glorious, no? I love everything about the new kitchen. The great details of the actual kitchen renovation/restoration as well as all of the beautiful and well-chosen vintage details all around the room. Every moment it was Kapow! Turquoise! Makes me all light headed and I think that I left my smelling salts on that beautiful center island.

I wonder if I could talk Paul into letting me come up to Canada to make a vintage casserole recipe in his wonderland of a kitchen? Baked Alaska? Probably not but hey, a girl can dream! Was I the only one gasping at the photos of the glorious GE All-In-One Kitchen Center and wall-mount refrigerator? Totally worth shipping thousands of miles and across an entire country! Here is an ad for the wall-mount refrigerator/freezer:

Gorgeous! She's thinking, "I'm the luckiest woman in the world!"

(Though, if her husband comes home and sees all of those doors standing wide open, she's bound to get a lecture about how they don't own shares in the electric company.)

General Electric touted it as the refrigerator that "Hangs on the wall like a picture!" The idea was that no longer would the cook have to stoop or bend. All of the cold groceries could now be right at eye level. It also allowed for more counter space. I love it and don't know why this idea isn't in production these days. I also love how they show it here in the ad, with a little desk under it.

And to make us all daydream even more, here is a vintage postcard collected by my Flickr friend Roadsidepictures:

So gorgeous. So streamlined. Yes, please!

But let's get back to the fellow who is lucky enough to have these treasures in his very own house! That Paul - not only is he a lucky bird... but talk about hard working and determined! I dropped him a note and asked him if he'd share some more details with us. He agreed and here is our conversation:

You show in the video that your quest for the amazing turquoise kitchen started after you brought home that sweet stove. Does your love for vintage things go back before that? What do you think that it is about vintage things that draw you to them?

My love of vintage things goes way back! When I was youngster, I would take apart old appliances to see how they worked. My parents would sometimes have to lock me up on garbage day... I think what drew me to vintage items was the style - furniture with rounded arms, lamps with those fibre material shades 'woven' on to a frame, chrome toasters with etched designs all had (and still have!) a huge visual appeal to me. The designs are so simple, but elegant.

I'm absolutely amazed to see all of the work that you've done on the vintage appliances. Do you work on appliances for a living or did you get into it after beginning the kitchen restoration? Can you tell me more about how you found the appliances?

Thank you! I have surprised a few people with the kitchen project, including myself! Although I am not a repair person, my early adventures with small appliances led me to try working on larger ones. My folks had appliances that were considered 'old' at the time, but they'd be 'vintage' now - I found it pretty easy to work on them and keep them running and I guess that experience was what I drew on when I worked on the 1956 GE set. You may not believe this, but I had never undertaken a complete restoration project before I tackled these appliances!   I was literally 'learning on the job'.

The entire set was found in Texas, near Port Arthur. I belong to a group called Automaticwasher.org and being a group of collectors, members often post entries on discussion boards about vintage appliances available in their area. There seems to be an inverse relationship of where highly desirable items turn up and where a collector is actually based!   People did question my sanity when I said I was considering appliances that were thousands of miles away; however, finding the items that I really wanted (and the fact that they had never been installed or used) was something I couldn't resist.   Just as aside, I learned a great deal about arranging for transport and dealing with imports getting these appliances to me in Canada, too.

I'm learning more and more throughout the restoration of my own home that patience and perseverance go a long way. We can see from the video that your kitchen took nearly two years. Any words of wisdom and encouragement to those of us who are still in the trenches and feel like we still have so far to go?

Patience is definitely required! I would say that keeping the image of the finished product in mind is a great way to get you over the inevitable bumps in the road to restoration. Just thinking about how wonderful a restored vintage living room will look decorated for the holidays, for example. Think about how wonderful having dinner in your 'new' dining room with your favourite people will be and never mind that pile of drywall that's still lurking at the bottom of the stairs. LOL   Never be afraid to try something non-standard - a piece of pipe meant for a sink may just be the missing part to restore a chair leg!   Also, ask questions - there are discussion groups and forums on-line where folks who have been through restorations will be happy to offer advice and information.

Such wonderful advice! I love the idea of using the power of visualization to get us through. I think that this would be a great time to look at some before and after shots of Paul's kitchen:

Before

Before

After Renovation & Restoration
Hello, gorgeous!

And while we're here, how about a quick video of the washer/dryer combo?:

Never has doing laundry been so lovely!

You mentioned at the end of the kitchen video that you could now work on "new projects". Can you tell us more? What do you have in the works?

Oh my...At the time when the video was completed, I had a 1950 Westinghouse 'Laundromat' automatic washer sitting in the garage waiting for me! I did get that going, though (and I have attached a couple of pictures!).

Before Restoration

After Restoration
Wowie!

Okay, at this point I just have to insert the video that Paul took of that beautiful machine during a wash cycle. I could watch this all day.

Sweet, huh? If I lived at Paul's house, I wouldn't even need TV. I'd just watch laundry go 'round and 'round all day! But enough about my vintage appliance lust...Now back to Paul's story!

Shortly after that was completed, I acquired a 1953 Westinghouse matched washer and dryer set - that restoration is just about done now. I got sidetracked from that project with partial restore of a 1961 Whirlpool dishwasher and a 1958 Frigidaire dishwasher. I still have a few kinks to work out on these and once they are done, there's a 1950 or 1951 Youngstown Kitchens dishwasher waiting for me!

I could watch the videos of your appliances all day long. Any tips for readers who want to bring home vintage appliances? Any safety tips?

For anyone interested in buying a vintage appliance, bear in mind that what may appear fine on the surface may be pretty scary inside! I have had vintage refrigerators that worked fine and showed no signs of trouble but when I did some tinkering, I found the wiring for the interior light had dangerously brittle insulation (it crumbled in my hands!).   I would strongly recommend that any appliance be carefully inspected to see if there are any obvious problems and if there is any doubt, it would be worth having the appliance inspected by an electrician or repair technician. I only have experience with electrical appliances, but I would also recommend that any gas appliance be inspected for leaks or defective parts. The good news is that most vintage appliances are not that complicated to do a basic inspection on. The back panel of most vintage ranges for example is easily removed and the wiring can be seen clearly. Look for signs of trouble like burnt or scorched components, broken wires, or splices. Something I have done (especially on the vintage laundry machines) is to ensure they are properly grounded. That can be a simple as replacing the power cord and attaching the green lead from the new cord to the frame of the machine.   I tend to err on the side of caution and thorougly test a new acqusition connected to a ground-fault protected outlet. If the breaker pops right away or shortly after the appliance starts, this could mean big trouble!

Great tips! It's always a good idea to be safe and have electronic items inspected by the pros. Finally, since it's apparent that you believe in making your dreams come true, is there one item or project that you dream about for your home?

Don't laugh, but I would love to add a pond to the garden and surround it with native marsh plants! That should keep me out the garage and away from the dishwashers for a while. LOL

Okay readers...is there any doubt after seeing how dogged Paul is that he'll make that pond and garden dream come true? And if his kitchen is any indication, it will be glorious! Though, I think that I'd find it hard to stop tinkering with those beautiful appliances or heck, to leave that kitchen and pretty dining nook surrounded by shiny bright percolators.

Thanks so much to Paul for letting me share his story. I think it's a great shot of adrenaline to those of us who are in the throes of restoration - as well as those who hope and plan to be one day. Figure out what makes your heart go pitter-pat...visualize...and realize!

If you want to see more of Paul's appliance restoration videos, go here. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't watched them all. And maybe twice.

Until next time (kitchen dreams can come true...it can happen to you),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Granny Craft Motherload

2011-06-26T17:31:00.008-05:00

It's probably no secret that I love kitsch. But my favorite kind of kitsch? Granny Crafts! These are the crafts made by the senior set for craft fairs, gifts, home decor...what have you. I'm absolutely obsessed. If you were to take me to an estate sale where one room is full of ten cent vintage Pyrex pieces and the other room is full of granny crafts, I'd run squealing like a child to the granny craft room. And then I'd bite people if they got in my way.

(I can hear all of my fellow Pyrex collectors out there thinking, "Make a note to go junking with Eartha. She would make a mighty fine distraction while I rack up the valuable Pyrex." )

This weekend has been especially good to me in the Granny Crafts department. Didn't bite anyone AND I got tons of crafts and craft supplies! Most of them came from the same estate sale where it was easy to tell that the homeowner had never been afraid of a googly eye. Amen to that.

Most times, estate sales will be packed with people trying to beat each other to the finds. I hit a rare estate sale where well, nobody wanted any of the stuff that I wanted. It was like I'd been really, really good and Karma was saying, "Take all you want, Miss Sassy Skirts! Then go back for more!" And I did. The Mister and I went to this sale three times in one weekend.

Here's some of what I got:

Bunny Corsages! I die!

Tiny little bunnies in baskets!

And as great as those are, these are the ones that really got to me:

Little people! Made of handi-wipes and felt! Whee!

You'll notice my beatnik chicks made by Amber Von Felts up there,
looking pretty bemused at the new additions to Kitschville!

I had never seen these people before so I was as pleased as punch. I got a few pairs of them too! And as a bonus - an unopened pack of the handi-wipes so that I can make my own little people. Whoot! It felt as if the crafty lady had left them there for me so that I could follow in her tiny little footsteps.

Just look at those faces!

I also got a bunch of old craft supplies:

Pom Poms!

Fuzzy Sticks!
The cashier charged me the prices that were on there from back in the day. Which tickled me. I was all, "Time warp!" (Funny how estate sale cashiers never seem to get crazy vintage collector humor.)

Rick-Rack and piping!My gosh, rick-rack is one of the building blocks of the universe, if you ask me.
What would I take to a desert island? Rick-rack, that's what.

Googly Eyes! Um yes, I have a certain affinity.

And just a few days before, I found four of these girls:

I think I really love them. What I love more is thinking about the person who made them.
I also have them in florescent orange and bright blue.

And this clucky lady:

She's a bread warmer that goes over a bowl or basket.
Just lift up her wing and grab a toasty roll!

And finally, a package of Vogart textileprints:

Not necessarily a granny craft but it does remind me of my own late grandmother. She loved Vogart products. I love the colors in this bullfighting scene. And the lady on the front of the package just Vogarting away.

I'm going to be putting a lot of these crafts in my shop tonight if anyone loves them as much as I do. (see here for not-so-secret discount code) I have vowed not to hoard granny crafts. Granny crafts should be shared with the world!

I found some other great things this weekend too. Things that play right across my heartstrings. I'll share those with you soon! I hope that you all had weekends that were custom made for your kind of happiness as well.

Tune in tomorrow when I share with you a wonderful story about a fella who made his vintage kitchen dreams come true.

Until next time (remember, you can never have too much craft glue or be too close to the front of the estate sale line when the doors open)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Uh...PINK

2011-06-24T22:31:00.014-05:00

You'd think that a pink toilet was the plague.

I like this part: "We are remodeling our bathrooms and have a pink toilet that works great, not damaged in any way, but it is ....uh... PINK."

Well, I'll be! That poor toilet might as well have a poo ring with a width that rivals the Mighty Mississippi from the tone of that sentence.

People are SO afraid of pink toilets. Why, did you know that you can sit on them and they flush just like other toilets? You don't get sucked down and wrapped in rosy colored cotton candy clouds where unicorns braid your hair in pretty, pretty ribbons (though that might be fun). It's true! I even have it on good authority that men can use them without losing an ounce of their well-earned "manliness".

And I promise you, people...they will come back in style. People are going to be clamoring for them before it's done. And getting on waiting lists at the big box stores and paying as much as a car note for the matching sink. And those young House Hunters couples will whine in televised bathrooms all over the world because the houses don't have pink fixtures. And their Realtors will try to ease their heartache by telling them that they can have a pink bathroom added for several thousand dollars. A pink tide is going to sweep the nation. Like a porcelain Pepto pink wave. Mark my word.

And no, I didn't go pick this one up. One spare in the garage is enough.

On a related "I'm a vintage fixture pusha' woman" note, I'd like to say to Rae from Nashville: Go pick this up. Start your pink bathroom hoard! This one looks like a mighty glorious flamingo pink!

Until next time (color is NOT our enemy),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Friday Sing-Song

2011-06-24T17:29:00.008-05:00

Hey y'all!

I wanted to share some Dezurik Sisters love in case you've never heard them. Mary Jane and Carolyn were truly amazing. They also went under the name "The Cackle Sisters". I'm sure you'll see why.

Here is another one of my favorites. It always seems to get included when I make music mixes. (I almost said "mix tapes". Showing my age here?)

Here is some info on them if you're interested in their story: The Dezurik Sisters

And here is a collection of a ton of their recordings for your listening enjoyment: Listen

Happy Saturday, Buckaroos!
x's and o's (and yodels!),
Eartha

Celebrating with a Sale

2011-06-23T16:27:00.004-05:00

I just had my 100th sale in my Etsy shop (whoot!) and I'm celebrating with a discount sale for my Ranch Dressing peeps. From now until midnight (Nashville time) Sunday night (June 26th), you can get 10% off any item in the shop by using the discount code CELEBRATE100 at the checkout. Please come on over to the shop and see if there is anything that you can use. I'll be listing more items throughout the weekend. There will be kitschy stuff and swanky stuff... and stuff of all kinds - from decor to fashion and beyond.

To apply the discount code: During the checkout process, check the box underneath the payment option section that says "Shop Coupon Code - Apply" then put in the coupon code CELEBRATE100 before completing checkout.

Note: If you're not in the United States or Canada, please see my notes on the items about shipping costs. Thanks!

Eartha Kitsch at Etsy

Thanks kids!

x's and o's,
Eartha

Again with the Ashes

2011-06-20T11:38:00.007-05:00

It appears that it has happened again. More cremated remains showing up at a thrift store. Though sadly, the ashes were not retained this time. From the way it sounds, they ended up in the dust bin. I think that it's interesting that the thrift store put the urn back out on the shelf. I've shopped at this store many times and do have to admit that I've found some good stuff there. Maybe their "what the heck" policy is the reason why:

Ashes found in Anderson Salvation Army

I posted about the cremated remains donated to a thrift store in Michigan recently and it appears that the story had a happy ending. Thanks to Amber Von Felts for letting me know about the updated story. It turns out that those ashes belonged to a lady who passed away in 2004 and that her remains have now been reunited with her family.

In researching this post, I found that it happens quite frequently! Most recently in Virginia, Georgia and Oregon. Thrift stores just get more and more intriguing, don't they?

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha (who has always planned to be cremated but might need to have the "responsibility" talk with her family)

Pet Sounds (the bird edition)

2011-06-14T19:24:00.057-05:00

So yesterday, I featured some of my favorite bird training records. Today, I'll share some snippets of the recordings with you (edited so that you don't go completely bonkers). Enjoy!

First up, Singing Canaries

You might remember from yesterday that this one is singing canaries blended with the pipe organ stylings of Hal Pearl.

Tweet, ain't it?

Next up, Parakeet Training Record (Let Your Parakeet Teach Himself To Talk)
by Hartz Mountain:

Repetitive and seductive!

If utilizing that one, I'd recommend putting your bird in a room on the other side of the house and if you're in an apartment, make sure that your wall sharing neighbors aren't home!

Here is a bit more. The Mister said that the lady sounds just like me in the morning:

Ha! That little parakeet fella at the end sounds like an obscene phone call!

And talk about an overachiever. He must be that bird graduate that they show on the record!

Until next time (good morning! want to eat!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Just When We Thought That Birds Couldn't Get Any Cooler

2011-06-13T11:50:00.053-05:00

So yes, it's been established that I'm all atwitter for birds...but know what makes me even happier? Bird records! I wanted to show you a bit of our collection here at the ranch.

The first record is from the "teach your bird to talk" genre which I am admittedly wild about. It's from Hartz Mountain products (Hartz is still going strong today) and promises that your bird can teach itself to talk just by listening!

The record suggests "Use repeat mechanism if your phonograph is so equipped. By giving
your bird a 'lesson' several times each day, you will soon be rewarded by hearing him repeat the words and phrases he has heard so often.."

Look at those beautiful parakeets! Looks like one of them is talking already!

And look at this guy! He's done up and graduated!
Next up, Singing Canaries!

This section of the genre is super fun to me because it's about birds singing along with music. The text on the back of the record reads: " When Custom Recording Studios released a record entitled TRAINING YOUR PARRAKEET TO TALK, it became an immediate hit and sales boomed. Featuring the recorded voice of an amazing parrakeet named 'Peter Parker' and the training voice of Peters owner; the record was received with enthusiastic response and distribution soon mushroomed from coast to coast. In time there were many requests for a record with singing canaries. Blended with the wonderful canary songs is the rich pipe organ music of Hal Pearl, recorded at the world famous Aragon Ballroom, Chicago, Ill."

Wow! Sounds like the masses went wild for birds! Who can blame them really? And I looked up the Aragon Ballroom - amazingly swanky! It was built to resemble a Spanish courtyard complete with palm trees, terracotta ceiling and mosaics - and the ceiling contained twinkling lights to make dancers feel like they were under the stars of a beautiful night sky! It was constructed to hold nearly eight thousand people and visitors reached the ballroom by walking up a grand carpeted staircase surrounded by huge plaster dragons. I'm sure that Peter Parker probably recorded his portion of the record from the cozy confines of a recording studio but it's fun to think of the fabulous Hal Pearl in that grand ballroom, recording his pipe organ portion, knowing that the parakeet would be joining in on the recording. Click here for some photos and info on the famous Mr. Pearl. Looks like the ladies loved him and his "mighty Wurlitzer"!

And now.. oh boy....I love this to pieces:
Bill and Coo!

This record was put out in association with Bill and Coo, a truly mesmerizing movie released in 1947 about a town full of birds called Chirpendale. It features an amazing cast of birds trained by George Burton as well as superstar, Jimmy The Crow whose trainer was Curly Twiford. Here is a synopsis from IMDB:

Welcome to Chirpendale. There's plenty of parking space, plus it has everything: a bar where bird citizens can drink junebug sundaes and listen to jazzy music. But the bird citizens are terrorized by an evil raven called "The Black Menace", but a pluck young bird named Bill Singer, who's a taxi driver by day, comes to the aid of a damsel in distress, Coo, who's trapped in a fire. And soon the circus comes to town, Bill and Coo get box perches and witness ferocious feats and even laugh along with Cannonball Twitcher on an out of control motorcycle! But soon The Black Menace returns, and Bill and the rest of the citizens put together a plan to put him away for good.

Here's a little taste of Bill and Coo. You are not going to believe this town :

Squeal! I'm moving there and you can't stop me.

Now back to the record ( if you can stop thinking about that glorious film because I know
that I certainly can't ). Here is the back:

The crowd goes wild!

And your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed a guinea pig!

Who needs wild lions and tigers? A kitty cat will do!

I hope that you've enjoyed the show and tell! Tomorrow, I'll play some of the records for you!

And if you want to see lots more (Trust me - you do. You'll be giggling like a little kid) here is the entire movie for your enjoyment!: Bill and Coo

Until next time (Every little swallow, every chick-a-dee, every little bird in the tall oak tree)
x's and o's,
Eartha

"So in Love" Saturday

2011-06-11T18:55:00.000-05:00

Stunning!

Ashes to Ashes

2011-06-10T18:21:00.006-05:00

Have you seen this story?

Knowing the polices of Goodwill, I'm half surprised that they didn't put the ashes in their "collectibles" case and smack a huge price on it. And could that investigative report have been any more vague? I like how they let the comment from the police lieutenant trail off into oblivion:

"We'll hang on to it for six months...."

Hello....And then what?

It will be interesting to see how this turns out. I hope that whoever is inside of that urn finds their way back to where they should be. It makes me think of the times that I've joked that when I die, I'd like to have my ashes sealed up inside of a beautiful Pyrex casserole dish and set up on the china cabinet. Maybe I'd better tape my home address to the bottom just in case. I mean, I do love the Goodwill but am not sure that I want to end up there for eternity.

I read in another story about the urn that the store manager said that it "ranked in the top one or two strangest finds the store had ever seen." Once again, people - could the reporting be any more lax? What was the other item that could possibly land Grandma's urn in the number two spot? Tell us more!

All of this leads me to wonder: What is the strangest thing that you have ever found in a thrift store, junk shop, or tag sale or in an item when you got it home? I'll spare you the details about mine but let's just say that there is a valid reason that you should keep antibacterial gel and hand wipes in your car during junking excursions.

So readers...do tell!

Until next time (oh the places we will go...what we will see - nobody knows!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

A Little Bird Told Me

2011-06-10T13:29:00.002-05:00

that we have a winner in our "I Like Birds" contest! The winner is:

Congratulations to Chesh (the King of House Sparrows)! I'll have your prize in the mail to you lickety split!

And thanks to everyone who entered!

Doing That Crazy Hand Jive

2011-06-09T10:49:00.000-05:00

Spotted at a thrift store:

Must be a very top secret item as the Mister and I got store security called on us for photographing it.

Tweet! Tweet!

2011-06-07T12:24:00.006-05:00

I love birds. I even loved them before they became hip. Birds and I go waaaaay back. I started doing a walk around the house and realized that they're pretty prevalent in my design scheme too.

So, I wanted to share the bird love. In the form of this vintage bluebirds and redbirds trivet:

Tweet! Sweet!
If you'd like to feather your nest with this cute trivet, the drawing will be this coming Friday, June the 10th at noon Central time. All that you have to do to enter is leave a comment with your favorite bird.. and why it's your favorite. Easy, huh? And if you don't like birds, you can say so. Though, if that's the case, owning this trivet might make you feel yucky inside!

The winner will be chosen by a drawing of names and is open to everyone everywhere. Note: if you leave a comment and it's going to show as anonymous, please leave an email address where I can reach you if you're the winner. Otherwise, I'll have to draw again and go with the next pretty bird whose name comes up.

Thanks and please pass the word like a good parrot would!

Until next time (coo! coo! caw! caw!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Cute!

2011-06-06T16:08:00.002-05:00

Is it wrong to want shelves like this at my age?

From Better Homes & Gardens Decorating Ideas from 1960

Complete with real roof shingles! And look at those sweeeeet stuffed animals!

Oklahoma, where the deer come sweepin' down the plain!

2011-06-04T12:13:00.016-05:00

I got a very exciting email this morning from one of my nice Flickr friends, illtakeyourphoto!

He sent me a link to a craigslist post about an estate sale with some fantastic deer in Ada, Oklahoma:

Just look at them all! NINE of them! Aren't they amazing lined up in a row like that?

And to make them even sweeter, they're only fifty bucks each! That's an amazing deal for large lawn deer and never have I seen this many on a lawn. With this being an estate sale, it's hard to know if the family is still living there but I would love to meet them. I bet they are/were awesome!

Sadly, this sale is over 700 miles from my house so I will only be there in spirit.

On a related note, did you know that Google Maps now gives you the distance if you were going to walk somewhere? As someone who dislikes car travel, this fascinates me! Turns out that I could walk to this sale in nine days and fifteen hours.. if I never stopped walking (Apparently, Google Maps has never been behind me on a walking track or flight of stairs!) I also learned that this path goes through the Ozark National Forest which sounds a little harrowing.

That cheery little house represents my ranch.
That red "X" denotes how far I'd actually make it.
(And also marks the Sonic drive-in near my house.)

Even if I did decide to hoof it, the sale is in a week so I'd arrive at least three days late, only to collapse and die where the deer used to be - a fitting place of death for someone like me who does love lawn deer so!

Garnet and Dale Go To The Spa

Reading A Book To A Wee One

Anyhoo, buckaroos (and doearoos!).. I hope that some of you are close enough to make one (or nine!) of these deer your own! If you do, send me a note so that I can write about your super score.

Here is a link to the craigslist ad with the details: Where To Score Scads of Awesome Deer And Be Eartha's Hero Forever

And if you're going to be staying home like me, take some time to wander over to illtakeyourphoto!'s website Box of Slides to see some truly amazing vintage slides.

Thanks again to illtakeyourphoto! for the fantastic tip!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Got Dirty Laundry?

2011-06-02T14:29:00.027-05:00

Hey buckaroos! Seen the "flashback" laundry products that Proctor & Gamble is selling at Target? They're based on their past package designs. This little teaser came out in the paper with coupons:

Ooh Whee! She's happy, isn't she? (I wish they'd bring back that washer/dryer color too!) When I saw that coupon insert in mixed in with my stack of coupons, it instantly cheered me up. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who stares at old packaging and advertising and wishes for the beauty of it all to come back. I mean just look at this zippy old ad for Tide:

Source

Why, that makes even me want to do laundry!

Here's what Proctor & Gamble had to say in their press release:

In a bygone era when women wore dresses and high heels to carry their families’ laundry in a wicker basket to their very first automatic washing machine, they turned to Tide for “the cleanest clothes possible.”

Wait one cotton pickin' minute, P&G! :
Dress? Check!
High heels? Check!
Wicker laundry basket? Check!

It seems that I'm of a "bygone era". Yay! No wonder my joints hurt..

These products are on shelves for a limited time at Target. I'm trying to get it verified but have read that they're only available until June 10th. So if you're jonesin' for them, get on out there as quick as a bunny's hop!

Here's a shot taken of a store display by Look In The Tunk over on Flickr:

Pretty, huh? They'd look great on a laundry room shelf. As you can see, they are keeping the modern designs on the bottles but using the old designs on the labeling. I think they're reaching on that Tide but if they weren't tested on animals, I'd be ALL over the Downy and Bounce.

I'll take you out with some commercials to put you in the mood to do laundry flashback style.

First up, Tide!

Notice how the whole family was wearing white? They are totally a Tide family! And did you see how Mrs. Christian was polite but stern with him? She was one "bless your heart" away from bare knuckle fighting that guy. She was thinking, "If my pork chops thaw, you are done for!"

Next, look at him as he tries to intimidate Mrs. Jenkins!:

(Note: the volume is recorded loud on this one so you might want to get ready for a
real "blast" from the past.)

Oh hell to the no!

There are two things that we women will never let anyone come between.
Our soap operas and our laundry soap!

And now for a little less snatch and grab intimidation. Here we have Downy!

Failed side pony! Shelley Long perm! Lightning bolt!
Remember when kids used to only sniff laundry?

And finally, Bounce. Boing!Keep your eye open for some super sweet appliances:

My wow, but they're happy! Maybe I should buy some Bounce!

Until next time (hope that your whites are their whitest and your softs are their softest),
x's and o's,
Eartha

p.s. If you're interested in a run-down of which companies do and don't test on animals, go here for a comprehensive list. Download the PDF's for a faster read: Do They Test?

Thirty you say?

2011-06-01T11:19:00.008-05:00

After my post yesterday about the joy of used toilets, it's easy to see why some of my Nashville folk might have thought of me this morning when this ad appeared in the hallowed "free" section of Craigslist:

Um, they had me at hell no. I mean, even if one does have use of thirty used toilet seats, can the owner really make someone take the ones with brown stains that can't be removed?? I don't even want to think about it in too much detail. Not even the obsessive cleaner in me wants to go there.

That said, it's the wild-card nature of Craigslist that makes me love it so. I relish not only the great scores but also the whackadoodle-ness that goes on there too. Not since I read this in the "lost and found" section have I enjoyed an ad so much:

"I found a variety of cheeses in the North Nashville area. The cheeses were haphazardly strewn in a large, misshapen pail of some sort. The labels appear to be written in French, Italian, Latin or Aramaic (all I know is that it's not English!). Be prepared to describe this make-shift cornucopia of cheeses, so that I know that you are in fact the rightful owner. Please hurry, as one in particular is quite pungent, and possibly making my cat very upset with me."

That's right people. The cat is NOT amused. Which makes me realize that I never asked my cats what they think about the opportunity for us to snag thirty used toilet seats. They might just find it a formidable opportunity! But alas, at the time of this post, neither my calls to the offices of Sobu or Mishka have been returned. Though I reached Pip, she refused to comment.

"Meh"

In fact, it's a great morning for Craigslist in Nashville. Not only can a person score all of those used seats but they can also swing by and pick up this at no-cost:

Gag gift. Sure. Yep. That's what I say about that giant pair of granny panties that are floating around in my dryer. We all know the deal. And in an especially bold move, the owner of said product posted her name and phone number. Oh, Hillary!

Within minutes, this response was posted from a good Samaritan:

What the? If this has happened to me once, it's happened a thousand times! Within the hour, Hillary posted this:

She updated her post to read "Serious Users Only". Sounds like she's received quite a few prank phone calls from her ad. I mean, in all seriousness, who among us (if burdened with the gift of a sex swing, say at a bridal shower or Bat Mitzvah) wouldn't just donate it to a thrift store or re-gift it at the office during the holiday "Dirty Santa" gift swap? (Am I the only one who has always wondered why it's called "Dirty Santa" when the gifts inevitably turn out to be scented candles and cheese samplers? Why not mix things up a bit? Those fuzzy handcuffs too tight? Surely Hal from Human Resources can use them!)

Would one really consider listing an item of this ilk right along with other free stuff like used couches, baby food jars and chicken coops? Listen people, I am a Craigslist troller and I'll be the first to say that some of the people who have come to my house to pick up innocent things have turned out to be pretty creepy. You gonna list a sex swing and think that your day will be without incident?

I'm sure that this high drama will continue for a while so I'll keep my eye on it. Oh no, no need to thank me. And hello! to you new readers who landed here from internet searches due to my excessive use of the term "sex swing". I can promise you that I am a dirty, dirty girl. Just read yesterday's toilet post to prove it.

This post actually reminds me of the time a few years ago when someone stole my check card. I went to the bank to learn that yo, yo, yo! I didn't have any money in my account. I was the victim of a hotel reservations agent who had decided to run willy-nilly from pillar to post purchasing the following: cat toys, craft supplies, sex swings and diamonds. Yep. Cat toys, craft supplies, sex swings and diamonds. Sound familiar? That's right. I'm pretty sure that Maria sang about them in that song from The Sound of Music about favorite things - right after doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.

I really have no good ending for this post except to say that I really don't think that I'll be picking up any free items from Craigslist today. And I think that I've done my share of toilet posts for a while. You and the cats don't have to worry.

Until next time (remember.. sometimes, not even Clorox wipes will make it right)
x's and o's,
Eartha

You Might Be A Vintage House Restoration Junkie If...

2011-05-31T16:33:00.008-05:00

Right after I woke up this morning, I did my usual check of Craigslist. Those of you who are restoring vintage homes may be familiar with the practice. My favorite section is the "free" section because lots of times, people throw out things that are very useful to those of us who love retaining and restoring old stuff - because a lot of the time, people who post these items think they're just old junk that they don't want to have to haul off to the landfill. Lucky us!

So, I noticed this morning that someone had just posted that they had a free pink toilet in great condition on their lawn free for pickup. What some might see as a threat to a neighbor's sanity reads like a golden opportunity to us. One quick holler to the Mister and he was on that very lawn within minutes and the toilet was ours. Now there may be some folks who might be saying, "Oh, Eartha! Gross! A used toilet!" but when you're in the old house restoration game, this is all par for the course. When you're restoring a vintage home, being told that there is a free vintage bathroom fixture is even more music to your ears than the ice cream truck.

(that said, I always scrub them within an inch of their life and with toilets, definitely get a new toilet seat)

This led me to think about the things that we have done since we bought this little 1956 ranch house - some of these things might ring some bells for you too if you're in our shoes and are a Vintage House Restoration Junkie.

Back to toilets. Yes, we really must! Today's find:

(Angels Singing) Free! Yes! Free!

Which is now sitting in front of this just waiting for ole Eartha to clean it:

Wouldn't you like to be our neighbors?
(more on excessive use of paint samples in a minute)

A junkie might also bring something like this home:

Without the flag and flowers...what do you take us for? Tacky?
We flushed out the pine bark nuggets and it was as good as showroom new!

And it's without shame that I admit that we restoration junkies sometimes hoard
new toilet seats in our garages:

Ahh...Venetian Pink! Just sounds like you're taking a glamorous vacation, no? Well good!
Because if you're like some of us junkies, you won't be taking a real vacation anytime soon!

Helpful Note: If you're looking for pink, try Amazon first. Blue? Try Lowe's. Don't pay a ton if you don't have to. If you're inclined to stock up (like some of us..not naming any names), you can buy several for what you'd pay for one at those fancy vintage reproduction toilet seat retailers. If you have to go that route to match your color, then by all means do. There are some great resources out there with every color under the sun - and they are also more pricey. First, try other routes. Right after we installed ours, a horrible contractor cracked it. See...it never hurts to plan ahead. If we'd paid a hundred bucks for that toilet seat, I'd still be chasing that guy down the street.

And after a long search to find the perfect color of toilet seat to match original fixtures, one of these junkies might take photos of it's installation like other people might a momentous occasion such as that of a baby's birth:

It's a girl!
I'll spare you the rest of the toilet seat installation photo shoot but let me just say that it was very
posh and included champagne toasts!

You might also be a vintage house restoration junkie if this photo makes your heart go
pitter-patter:

Glory day in the morning, y'all! Look at the grass green one!

How's the blood pressure? Can you take another?

Ooh! Ahh! Dibs on the sunshine yellow one!

Note: One of these junkies might also call dibs on things that we have absolutely no use for. Like a sunshine yellow toilet.

And one final toilet note:

Yep, it's an actual note. This is the sort of thing that you might find in a vintage house restoration junkie's house. Kind of makes you understand why we hoard extra toilets,
doesn't it?

Let's move on to paint colors. Vintage House Restoration Junkies are obsessed
with paint colors. Absolutely obsessed! You might hear us exclaiming,"But is it period?
in an exasperated tone when looking at color charts.

And we won't quit until we get the exact right shade of aqua:

Me: It's not aqua enough!
Mister: Does it need to be more blue...or more green?
Me: I don't know...just more aqua!
Mister: (blink. blink)

In that same vein, where some homeowners might see chipped or peeling paint as a major hassle, junkies see it as a wonderful archeological expedition!

Oh mama!

Thank you, Heavenly Father for what we have just received!

For it's these tiny glimpses into forgotten layers of paint that tell us what colors a house has been through the decades. They invite us to color-match them and use them once again. Sometimes, they even let us know that we're on the right track with our color choices. For instance, we recently picked a color for our front door and upon preparing the door for paint, discovered underneath the layers that the door had once been that exact same color!

Modern day color: Sherwin Williams' Holiday Turquoise

See that wall there? Peeling wallpaper is also like a great archeological dig. In this case, flocked flowered wallpaper that was glued straight to drywall and then painted over with layers and layers of paint. Can I get an "Amen"? (and the phone number of a good drywall repair person?)

In finding these clues, it's in the same spirit that we leave notes for future owners of our homes to find, in the hopes that they too will want clues from the past. We leave time capsules in attic joists and between wall studs. Messages behind medicine cabinets and wallpaper:

For instance, when replacing a broken mirror, we found this tatter of old wallpaper. We left it there but not before researching it so that we could tell any future owners what year it was from. Notice that we also noted what the mirror cost us as we're convinced that people in the future will think that things now are cheap just like we do when we look back at vintage prices.

What about you, buckaroos? Are you junkies too? Maybe you're not and think that we're crazy as you watch us snatch things from your curb or prattle on about the perfect shade of yellow in the paint store? Tell me all!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

The Java Jive

2011-05-19T15:54:00.012-05:00

I was recently given my late Grandmother's coffee pot.

Now, I don't drink or even make coffee but I really love having my grandmother's pot.
Especially after seeing what a big deal it was for women to be able to make coffee back
in the day. Here. See what I mean:

Like the way that Harvey brought up the girls at the office? He's pretty much letting
her know that he can replace her with any number of girls from the steno pool.

Um, did anyone notice how he shook his finger in her face?
I was hoping that Papa Eddie was one of her Dad's mafia friends.

Belittling is the anniversary gift that never has to be returned!

Harold better be careful with that refusing to talk stuff. It only
makes it easier for Jean to picture him with duct tape over his mouth.

If she knows what's good for her, she'll take those puppies
and file some paperwork.

"You make me feel very unwifely!"

Yay! Margie gets to keep her job as wife!

And my favorite:

What's Janie doing out late like that, roving the streets?
Shouldn't she be at home? In her place?

Wow, Folgers was a girl's best friend, huh? I'm both intrigued and annoyed by Folgers' ad campaign. There were so many of these ads that I couldn't even use them all. And it wasn't
just Folgers. Anyone remember that classic ad where the wife says "Jim never has a second
cup of coffee at home!"? That wasn't even Folgers. That was Yuban coffee, who also had an
ad campaign with several commercials just like these. One can imagine that with these ads running constantly for decades, women might have been practically brainwashed into believing
that they were something less of a woman if they couldn't make good coffee!

It's these kinds of things that allow me to temper my love for the vintage lifestyle with a little bit of reality. Sometimes, when people learn that I love vintage things and ideas so much, they say things like, "But things were so backwards then!" or "I wouldn't want to be a woman back in those days!" I think though that it's about knowing which parts to be nostalgic about and which parts to learn from, you know?

And I think that this whole coffee thing is a lesson in looking with a well-trained eye at what modern advertisers work so hard to make us think that we have to do or be like. I think that it's just as okay to giggle at the standards that they're trying to push on us now as it is to giggle in retrospect at what they were trying to convince us of then.

Until next time (ring around the collar is NOT a sin),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Betty Dean's Lament

2011-05-17T13:54:00.010-05:00

My Mom gave me a stack of cookbooks and I was pleased to find this cheerful one amongst them:

It's from Anderson, South Carolina (1955) and it's nothing short of joy with it's pretty pink motif and cheerful bird perched upon the lacy trim surrounding the title. And who can resist the smiling girl with her pigtails tied with little bows?

Inside the book, there are lots of illustrations of the girl preparing food. For the most part, the book has meat recipes since one of the main sponsors is the National Livestock and Meat Board. Here she is even singing about it. Boy, she's happy!

The back of the book shows some tips by the legendary Dr. Norman Vincent Peale on "How To Break The Worry Habit":

All in all, a positive cookbook experience. Until you see this handwritten note:

It reads: Betty Dean I am not going to have a party. Isn't that the saddest thing ever? Poor Betty! One wonders if she wanted to have a party and couldn't or if she'd had such horrible experiences that she had decided to never have one again. I want to somehow find her and ask her. What made her write that single plaintive sentence on the cookbook cover?

For some reason, my senses tell me that she wanted to have a party but couldn't so I've decided that I'm going to have a party for Ms. Betty Dean and I'm going to make recipes from this cookbook! (but not the Deviled Kidneys in Rice) Stay tuned......

Until next time (start ironing your party dress, Betty Dean...wherever you are!),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Freedom Riders

2011-05-16T10:26:00.006-05:00

On PBS tonight, the show American Experience is showing an amazing documentary called Freedom Riders. I've seen several clips and have read a lot about it and I'd say that it's a do-not-miss. The courage and determination of the Freedom Riders is nothing less than amazing and so admirable.

I'll openly admit that as a Southerner in the U.S., this is a part of the past that I shudder to see footage of. I wasn't there but am still embarrassed and saddened that my home state and region took part in the segregation and violence. I think it's important that we all see this film not only so that we won't forget how far we've come but how far we've still got to go. It's quite uplifting to see the lengths that the Freedom Riders went to stand up for equality. They were subjected to horrible violence and sentenced to jail terms but more and more of them just kept making their way down South until their goal was met. Many of them still work for equality today.

The documentary shows a wealth of incredible footage as well as interviews with many of the people who took part. Truly an amazing story. Watch it if you can:

Freedom Riders

Happy Birthday Liberace!

2011-05-16T08:44:00.001-05:00

Oh, Liberace.... I wish that he were still here with us. I got my love of him early on. My grandmother used to love him and when he'd come on the TV, she'd just clap her hands and smile at him. I mean, who could resist doing so? He was a showman like no other and okay, my Grandmother and I both found him quite handsome! I don't think that there has been nor ever will be another like him. He would have been 92 years old today.

Here he is doing some razzle dazzle with Sammy Davis Jr.

And to add a little (or a heck of a lot) of opulence to your day:

Until next time (it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that bling)
x's and o's,
Eartha

You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

2011-05-14T18:18:00.008-05:00

Perusing Craigslist today as I often do, my interest was piqued by a free vintage steelcase desk. Upon further inspection, I realized that it just might not be worth my while:

The ad reads: "There is a pile of leftovers from my carport sale that are free to a good home- One large steel desk with chair, one nice white curtain rod (6', maybe?), a pair of counter brackets with countertop, and a few nick-nacks/bric-a-brac on top of the desk. Take what you need or all of it, but stay OUT of my patio, or I WILL shoot you. What I'm giving away is located at the end of the carport, under the mailbox, alongside the blacktop driveway. If it's gone when you get there, that means you were too late. Do not knock, do not call out, and do not go snooping. It's not worth it for you."

Then they give their address and "Thanks, and good luck " as if before you leave to pick up the stuff, you'd better lay your best dress clothes out on the bed for your relatives to take to the funeral home. Wow, this person sounds INTENSE. I love that "Do not call out " part as if the mere sound of another human's voice is going to send them into a hellish rage. That must have been one great yard sale.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

House Tour!

2011-05-13T12:39:00.019-05:00

The fabulous Frecklewonder asked me to give a little tour of the Kitschderosa. Come on by and say hey! I even dusted!

Frecklewonder

Fun With Food Staples!

2011-05-11T11:20:00.000-05:00

Since I was a kid in the seventies, I've been fascinated with crafts made out of things like beans and macaroni. Oh yes, it was a very seventies thing to do! I can remember watching my brother come out of art class with a huge American Eagle made out of macaroni. The macaroni was painted gold and mounted to a large board. It was freakin' amazing! I also remember how jealous I felt. I know, it sounds crazy but hello, this was the time when the Bicentennial was all the rage - and who can beat things made out of macaroni? Two great things that go great together.

So, you can imagine my joy (or maybe you can't..but humor me) when I was perusing Etsy (as one does) and I came across a great shop called DollFood that has tons of cool stuff - including an amazing vintage burlap banner depicting all sorts of nature, animals and household items made out of pasta, beans and spices. Burlap craft was another staple of the seventies. Once again, two great things that go great together! (Are you still humoring me?) I'm pretty sure that I squealed with glee. And then click. click. click. bought it! When it arrived, I was so amazed at how detailed it was and how many clever uses of different food staples were used. Three feet of crafty awesomeness complete with a little bell so that I can tell if someone is trying to steal it.

Here are some highlights. :

You know that bean cat had me at "hello" and look at the tiny little bug and fish! Don't worry. Bean cat won't eat them. He's got oranges made out macaroni.

Look at those owls! And that worm! He looks like a snake to me but hey, alphabet pasta doesn't lie. Speaking of which, I absolutely love the use of alphabet pasta.

The top of the banner suggests conversation - about this groovy banner, no doubt! I mean, bean flowers, people...bean flowers!

That little bug is moving in for a caffeine fix! Or he could be just trying
to get a closer look at that coffee pot made out of spaghetti. "Look at that perfectly crafted handle" he says to himself. Yes, even bugs appreciate fine art.

Look at the turtle! And that butterfly! Eeee! See how alphabet pasta was used to make the turtle's feet? And how bow tie pasta was cleverly used to make the butterfly? That's the kind of stuff that thrills me.

These flowers are made of cloves and sunflower seeds.

A wee wagon carrying more pasta shells as supplies for the craft making masses! Those people can't get enough pasta! Heave! Ho!

That bee is darling down to every last detail - and that caterpillar made out of rotini...I'd have to say that little guy is definitely my favorite. Look at his little eyes! He's knows that he's going to be a bow tie pasta butterfly one day!

Pretty wild, huh? One has to wonder if the person who made this already had all of the supplies on hand or did they just completely clean out the pasta and bean aisle at the supermarket with visions of the masterpiece to come? Or maybe they were in a craft class where a whole table of folks sat around and made these. That's it! Quick! Someone get me a time machine...I'm going back and I'm carrying mass amounts of macaroni!

Speaking of fun with food, I've been wanting to share the work of one of my good friends for a while now. I met Miss Retro Modern on Flickr years ago and have always been impressed with her very own style of crafting. I'm talking peanuts with googly eyes, people. In beautiful scenes and in sweet little movies. Here is a great movie that she made that makes me both giggle and cheer. Keep your eyes peeled for the pasta guest stars! :

And here is her latest creation. She did this a day before the royal wedding in prediction of what the bride and groom might look like:

I think that she came pretty close. Just look at the happiness in their eyes!

Do yourself a favor and check out Miss Retro Modern's peanut people set and photostream on Flickr for more amazing photos and videos.

It's going to be hard to see these foodstuffs as mere staples in the pantry ever again, isn't it?

Until next time (go on! play with your food!)
x's and o's,
Eartha

Some Bunny Loves Cake

2011-04-24T15:18:00.028-05:00

Hey buckaroos! Happy Easter to you all! I hope that your bonnets are fully festooned and that your Easter baskets overfloweth.

Please stop by to see those sugar sweet girls over at No Pattern Required. I'm guest posting today and made up a little Easter Bunny cake from a recipe from 1941.

No Pattern Required

Hippity! Hoppity! Sugar Rush!

Until next time (hope that you find the prize egg!),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Sugar Pie Sunday

2011-03-20T10:10:00.005-05:00

They Can't All Be Good Ones

2011-02-28T14:54:00.016-06:00

Hey buckaroos! Done any good thrifting lately? I sure hope that you've had some successes as I sure haven't. I keep having dud thrift store days. Coupled with the fact that Easter is coming up and the thrift stores use this as their excuse to bring out every basket ever donated, I'm having to keep a sense of humor about my thrifting. It's not hard though. I've always enjoyed the novelty side of thrift store finds almost as much as the great scores.

My latest trip yielded the opportunity to purchase the following items (and no..even though I'm not always known for my tasteful choices, I didn't buy any of these!)

First up..

Ain't nobody here but us grandchickens!

This one especially made me giggle because I feel like I know just where the person who made this was coming from and who it was probably gifted to. As a person who has no kids, my parents get lots of talk about the alternate grands from my household - "alternate grands" being anything that isn't an actual living, breathing human grandchild but something else that we barren children use to try and replace living, breathing human grandchildren though they often fall short of the goal.

Such as:

Badly Behaved Mannequin Boys

Badly Behaved House Cats

Kind of makes grandchickens look better and better, doesn't it? As someone who has actually given my parents gifts or notes signed from alternate grands in the past, I especially appreciate the cheerful gold glitter paint on the frame here and the sheer size of the frame (huge!) and have to wonder if it was gifted by a child to their parent or if perhaps...just perhaps the grandparent made this for themselves because they loved their grandchickens so much. And what is the resale possibility of this item? I love thrift stores - if for nothing else than their unfailing optimism that there is a buyer for everything...and let me remind you that there is:

Didn't expect to see her again, did you?

Sorry about that. Need something to wash the bad taste of pantyhose crafted thrifting past out of your mouth? Maybe this next item will be useful. Here we have something that I have never seen in a thrift store:

A Pimp Cup!

Bless it's heart with it's crookedly applied glittery ribbon trim. Not nearly as "royale" as advertised on the carton. Did the receiver of this gift keep it in the original carton for a while before resigning themselves to the fact that they just weren't pimp material and never would be? I'd like to have seen the thrift store pricer deciding what price category a pimp cup should go in. $8.99 is hardly royale. It's hard out there for a pimp cup.

And to round things out:

Cute Kitten Resting In A Stripper Heel

(You hear that? That's my blog hit counter working overtime from stripper heel fetishists hitting the pavement at Ranch Dressing after phrase searching on Google. Welcome y'all!)

Okay seriously, how can a jacked-up pimp cup go for $8.99 when this beauty is a mere $1.99? And that poor kitten! Left pining at home alone again while its owner goes out to earn the cat litter money. Story of my life, I tell ya.

Well kids, those were pretty much the highlights of my latest thrifting trip. It just goes to show that some days are epic "oh my god, this vintage Pyrex bowl doesn't even have a chip!" days and other days are well, Grandchicken Pimpin' Kittens In Stripper Heels kinds of days.

Until next time (one man's trash is another man's treasure, yo),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Baby, Don't You Cry. Let's Make A Pie.

2011-01-23T20:30:00.027-06:00

Hello my little buckaroos! Did anyone take the opportunity to celebrate National Pie Day today? Oh yes, it's a real holiday! And one that I can get behind, let me tell you. And no doubt, it's holidays such as this one that have also added to my actual behind too. But what can make a person forget about that spare junk in the trunk? That's right, buckaroos! Whiskey!

Oh don't worry. I'm not lushing it up. I made a whiskey pie! This year's celebratory pie was the Jack Daniels Whiskey, Chocolate and Pecan Pie. Oh yes, the holy trifecta of feel-good ingredients.

We here in the South are crazy about our Jack Daniels and our pecans. And if you add chocolate, then well howdy...Heaven.

If you want to add it to your recipe box, here's how it's done, hon!

First The Ingredients:

3 jumbo eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, completely melted
1 cup dark corn syrup
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup Jack Daniels Whiskey
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup whole pecans
1 (10-inch) unbaked, frozen pie crust (or freshly made if so inclined)

Let's Make A Pie!

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

2. In a mixing bowl, beat eggs, sugar, butter, corn syrup, vanilla extract and Jack Daniels until very well combined.

3. Sprinkle chocolate chips over bottom of unbaked pie crust. Add a few more if you like.

4. Cover with pecans.

5. Pour filling over all.

6. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until a knife inserted halfway between the center and the edge comes out clean.

7. Let set at least 30 minutes before serving.

You've Got Pie!

Notes:

* Some versions of this recipe say to strain the liquid mixture before pouring into your pie.

* I once made this pie for the Mister's family and forgot to lightly beat the eggs before adding them. Guess what I got? A wonderful pie with scrambled eggs mixed in. No joke. So, beat those eggs now!

* You might have a little filling left over. Don't let it spook you. And for pete's sake...don't drink it. Trust me. Though, if you dab a little behind your ears, it drives them wild.

* If you want your Karo syrup to come out of your measuring cup easier, spray the cup with a little nonstick spray.

* You're going to want to bake it until it's no longer runny. This may take a little more time than noted. If you do have to remove it while it's still a little runny, just pop it into the fridge for a while and it will congeal more.

* This pie should be kept in the refrigerator but a quick zap of a piece in the microwave will get the molten pie love flowing before eating. And I highly recommend it with ice cream!

I'd like to give a little shout-out to my sous chef, Pip who always spends time in the kitchen with me when I cook. She used to scratch on the cabinets to get my attention while I cooked until one day, I pulled up a stool and put her on it. Now, she always goes there and politely watches me cook. We had a big health scare with her this week and it made me really happy to have her back by my side today.

It's Pip!

Oh, and strange thing about Pip - even though she was spayed as a kitten, when the dishwasher is running, it sends her into some kind of mock heat. She rolls around in front of it and tries to get it to mate with her.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Well, buckaroos...I think I'll ramble off to the kitchen now and have some more of that pie and see National Pie Day out in style. And I might just turn that dishwasher on for Pip to celebrate both the holiday and her return to good health.

I'll leave you with this lovely flashback morsel. I hope that one of these days, I'll own this game and can incorporate it into National Pie Day.

Until next time (may all of your pies be a la mode),
x's and o's,
Eartha

On The Crazy Fringes of Christmas

2011-01-07T14:51:00.021-06:00

Hello my little buckaroos! I hope that you all had a great holiday season! Here at the ranch, ours just keeps going and going. Why, I haven't even had Christmas with my family yet due to sicknesses, bad weather and scheduling conflicts. So, in the spirit of a holiday season that keeps on keeping on, I want to share with you some photos of some holiday oddities from 2010. You game? Hey! Ho! (Ho! Ho!) Let's go!

First up, let's go trolling through the thrift stores! The thrift stores during the holiday season always have a soft place in my heart - the overplayed Christmas music...the shelves stacked high and deep with cast-off Christmas knick-knacks and gee-haws. And you KNOW how much I love finding homemade holiday items. First up, snowmen!

Oh my goodness! Here you see a sweet little pair of snowmen made out of Mason jars covered with white tube socks....with googly eyes! Your eyes don't deceive you - their noses really are made out of ear plugs. They're rounded out with some pom-poms and ribbons and inside of each jar there are sparkly lights!

I have to admit that these guys really tugged at my heart strings. Every time that I'd go back to the store, they were still there. Some of you may know that I am a sucker for sad inanimate things with eyes and these snowmen were no exception. A couple of times, I'd see them separated on different shelves and would put them back together, knowing that the little one could never live without the big one. Later on in the season, I saw that only the big one was left. Once again, I fought the urge to bring him home. Towards the end of the holiday season, I got it in my mind that I really MUST rescue him (I blame emotional outbursts like those on ovulation, don't you?) and went back to find that he'd been bought. I even convinced the Mister to help me search the ravaged shelves and let me tell you, I must have sounded pretty pitiful if that man was helping me look for tube sock crafts!

What's that? I heard someone ask, "But Eartha..are tube sock crafts the only kind of hosiery craft?" Thanks for asking, you! In this very same thrift store, on another day I found this little gal!

Oh yes, buckaroos...don't question it. She's made out of old pantyhose. From tip to toes. Now, being a kid of the 70's and 80's, I've seen some pretty mean pantyhose craft come and go but I had never seen anything quite like this girl. First off, her face...it's so mean! And secondly...did they have to put the seam right across the middle of it?

Shudder.

And god, y'all...her stubby arms!! And yes, I went back to get her too but someone had bought her. Right about now, you might be saying to yourself, "God...Eartha will buy anything that she feels sorry for" and you'd be right - but the even more surprising thing is that I have competition! Where DO these items go? Is there someone else out there just like me??

After those two admissions, you may be wondering what I didn't buy or go back for. How about this little item?:

Complete trick question. Those aren't snowballs at all! Whoever made this game is taking us for not only bad gamblers but also complete fools. But not as foolish as this poor kid:

Yeppers.

I also didn't buy this:

I'll admit to thinking that it was kind of cute - and probably a lot of work to make. It was really huge too. It went up to about my waist and had lights on it. I figured someone would be all over it - just not me. If only I'd known that many weeks later, I would find it still in the store and completely beaten down:

Poor thing had just given up.

Okay now, still with me? Let's hit the drug store circuit! No, you sillies...not for sedatives. We resolved to give those up on New Year's Day, remember? We've got to see the gift items that were on the shelves! You silly buckaroos...always thinking about where you'll get your next fix.

Speaking of a fix...First up, giant candy!!

Does anyone else but me hear angels singing? I bet a person could feast on the token giant filbert in there for days! And that candy cane? That'd be great for beating off any fool who'd come near your candy!

Hello, I couldn't even hold up that Whitman's sampler. I had to get the Mister to do it for me. It was huge! And to make matters even more surreal, as we were taking the picture, the sales clerk yelled out, "There it is! We had someone looking for that Whitman's Sampler earlier and she couldn't find it!" (blink. blink. blink.) Hello, it's larger than a 1980's microwave oven! She then went on to tell me about how $24.99 is a great value compared to what a normal sized Whitman's Sampler costs.

But I didn't have time to do the math. I was too busy staring at this:

Perfect for hiding those unsightly bulges from enormous candy, right?

Now, let's go back to snowmen! This time, on the good ole internet!:

Of course, snowmen love to hunt, you sillies!

And finally, I have an answer to why this paint-by-number deer has such a shocked face:

You can't trust anyone these days! Did you know though that sometimes even snowmen get betrayed?

Thumpety thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Frosty go.

Okay, I'll admit that I bought this one! Thank you, eBay for your insane wealth of things that I don't ever know that I need until I see them. I don't know what the motive was behind the making of this stocking but to me, it looks like poor ole Frosty knows that he's about to go to snowman Heaven.

"Goodbye, cruel world! Tell my wife and kids that I love them!"

And that brings us to this little snowman, also from eBay:

Look how that little girl is consoling him. He must have heard about what happened to poor old Frosty.

eBay never fails to amaze me, to be honest. And the holidays just seem to bring the amazement to an all new level. For instance (and I bet that some of my vintage loving friends out there will agree) the things that people label as "vintage", mucking up a perfectly good search. For instance:

Completely and utterly vintage. And to make it even more of a sham, the item description says that it would be a great gift for women. I can only speak for myself but if my Mister ever gave me a Hooters Christmas stocking, we'd be in full-on counseling. Just sayin'...

Now to my strangest eBay find of the season. I was doing an innocent search for old Christmas elves when I came across these:

Cute, huh? It was then that I looked at the other photos and read the description. The Seller was using their elderly Mom to sell merchandise with text reading that she was in financial trouble and needed to sell off her possessions. Talk about bottom of the barrel, folks! I questioned whether I should share this story but then realized that it is too surreal and maddening not to share. So, I've placed a black bar over poor old Mom's face:

(Why didn't I think of that black bar sooner, right?)

Rectified.

Now back to that Seller!

The auction for the elves showed the elderly Mom holding her elves, looking so pitiful with a look of absolute sadness, all the while wearing her "Sassy" sweatshirt. But it doesn't stop there. Here is what the description said:

"Poor old mom has to downsize some of her collections to pay the doctor bills!!! As you can see, she isn't happy about selling her elves."

What kind of person not only takes away an old woman's elves but also uses a photo of her in misery about selling them to do so? And did they have to keep referring to her as "Poor Old Mom"? I wanted to write the seller and tell them that I'd buy the elves but only if they'd send Mom too so that I could rescue her. I mean, in my book, you don't mistreat senior citizens OR elves. It's the unwritten rule.

The Seller sold several more items in this same way, including Mom's antique tea set that her late husband had given to her:

Look at her there, forced to measure her relinquished items like a hostess on the Home Shopping Network of the damned! Jeez, Louise... Here is the description from the Seller:

"Another one of Poor Old Moms Collectables. This Handpainted Nippon Tea Set was purchased by her late husband over 30 years ago at an estate auction. She is parting with alot of her collectables to pay bills during these hard times!"

They should have taken it a step further and put a homeless puppy in that creamer.

And it gets worse. A buyer wrote the seller to say that it actually wasn't an antique Nippon tea set but actually a later, less-worthy fake. The Seller answered back that since Mom was 87 years old, she might be a bit confused about the details!

Holy smokes!

Okay kids...on that insane note, this ends our holiday tour for this year. I hope that you've enjoyed our little walk on the fringes of Christmas.

Until next time (crazy is as crazy does),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Happy Holidays from The Ranch

2010-12-22T12:35:00.003-06:00

My posts have been slim through the holiday season but I have a whole file of crazy holiday stuff to show y'all after Christmas! - kind of the dredges from the yuletide cheer barrel, if you will...so stay tuned.

We here at the ranch wish you lots of love and peace this holiday season. And joy...more joy than you can shake a stick at!

Until next time,
x's and o's (and ho ho ho!),
Eartha

The Swell Life

2010-12-09T11:15:00.005-06:00

Sweet Alexa over at The Swell Life invited me to do a guest spot this week. She does regular posts with some amazing crafting ideas. She's one of the most creative people that I know and I think that you'll love her if you don't already know and love her before today. I was honored to be invited to post in her world.

She even let me do a show-and-tell with some of my favorite Christmas Kitsch ornaments. Three words for you: Creepy. Pasta. Angel.

And more! Y'all come see: The Swell Life

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Nancy Drew and Reindeer Games

2010-12-08T20:25:00.016-06:00

Hey y'all! Someone please tell me where the month of November went? That sucker zoomed by and now it's...you guessed it, December! I am excited about doing lots of Christmas posts so I'd better get on it!

I wanted to share with you my pitiful clay Rudolph. I'm going to start at the end and work my way back. When I went home to visit my family in June, my Mom came into the kitchen with a little cardboard box full of paper towels and after reaching inside, handed me this guy:

I hadn't forgotten about him. Not at all. I'd just lost track of him and was amazed to see that he was still among us. I remembered it like it was yesterday - the day that I made this as a little kid. I was in grade school and wanted to make Santa an extra special gift to leave with the cookies and milk. I'm not sure if I was being extra nice because I was gunning for something special or if I was just a kid who loved Santa - probably both!

So, I got out my Play-Doh and made a tiny little version of Rudolph. See that pink nose? It used to be red. And those smooshy things on top of his head? You guessed it, antlers! On Christmas Eve, I left this little guy out for Santa and the next morning, just like I figured...he was gone! I remember imagining how tickled Santa must have been to get a bonus gift from my house. I figured he circled my name on his list for next year and made a note: "Kitten, Barbie Dream House AND speed skates". In like Flynn! Those other kids all over the world with their simple-minded cookies and milk - what fools!

Fast forward to many months later - or gosh, it could have been a couple of years - but I was still a kid. My parents had left the house on an errand and just like my brother and I would do, we played private investigators. Okay, that's just my way of saying that we rambled through my parents' dresser drawers. Yes, we were horrible. No wonder I thought I should bribe Santa with reindeer replicas! I probably should have slipped him a twenty as well. Anyway, when I was investigating in my Mom's bottom dresser drawer, I came across this box. Inside, there was a huge wad of paper towels wrapped around something. My mind raced: "It has to be something good! Bottom drawer! My Mom wasted paper towels! She hates it when we waste paper towels!" I looked around to make sure that my brother was rambling in his own territory and that I wouldn't have to share whatever this wondrous find would be. Why, it could be chocolate bars...or his adoption papers...who knew?

I slowly unwrapped the secret center as the paper towels unraveled to reveal....my Rudolph! I sat back down on the floor and stared at it. Probably not even breathing with my Hubba Bubba hanging out of my mouth. It was like I'd just seen a ghost. What was Rudolph doing at MY HOUSE?! I immediately knew....yes, I knew. Oh no, not what you're thinking. You're thinking that being the bright kid that I was, I'd figured out the truth about Santa Claus, right? Oh no...I immediately knew that my Mom was a petty thief! She had coveted my reindeer so much that she stole it right out from under Santa's nose! Holy wow!

At first, I felt disappointment - that my Mom was a thief AND that Santa didn't get my amazing gift. Then after a moment, the wheels started turning (or maybe my mind went into self-preservation mode) and I felt the biggest sense of pride because I realized that my Mom only stole the Rudolph from Santa's cookie plate because it was SO FREAKING AWESOME! I was a real artist. Yes, sir. My brother may have been the one taking the fancy art classes but my Mom was defying the "Thou Shalt Not Steal" commandment just to own MY art....and we were Southern Baptists!

Making a mental note to pray for her salvation later, I quickly wrapped Rudolph back up in his paper towel shroud and tucked him back into the bottom drawer, sneaked out of my parents' bedroom and walked away with a big smile. I knew my Mom's secret AND I knew...just KNEW that with my amazing artistic skills, I was going to be somebody someday. I'd impressed my Mom and Moms...well, they've seen it all!

Now fast-forward back to my Mom's kitchen. In a way (and I am going to get syrupy), I was right because even over thirty years later, my Mom still had that little crumpled reindeer. I doubt we would be able to say that for Santa.

Until next time (did you know that thirty year old Play-Doh still smells the same as day old Play-Doh?)..
x's and o's,
Eartha

A Contest!

2010-11-11T20:53:00.008-06:00

Hey y'all! The lovely ladies over at No Pattern Required are having a really fun contest to win a grand prize package of 52 holiday cards from What's Buzzin'.

I won the contest last year and let me tell you, those gals know how to throw a contest. I absolutely loved my cards!

Why not go on over and submit an entry so that you can enter? I am pretty excited to see the submissions.

If you're not already a reader and follower, I'd also recommend checking them out. Their posts are fantastic and it's become a "must read" every day for me. Those ladies have heart and humor and really love and know a lot about the vintage loving lifestyle.

Until next time (It's a major award!!),
x's and o's,
Eartha

Kooky Spooks!

2010-10-31T13:53:00.019-05:00

I think that it's a blast to learn about things that I never knew about. Especially things from my childhood. Even though I considered myself pretty up on all of the trends as a kid, some escaped my radar. Like Kooky Spooks.

One day, I was browsing my friend, Bryan's Flickr page and came across this photo:

SO many costumes to look at and talk about in this photo but my eyes were instantly drawn to the kid in the back row with the inflatable costume on his head.

Ha! That kid was Bryan! And he was wearing Kooky Spooks - not only a great tongue-twister but also a pretty great costume idea.

He gave me the scoop on Kooky Spooks and I became so intrigued. Off I went to do some research. I learned that Kooky Spooks costumes were in stores from 1979 through 1981 and that they reappeared in 1985-1991 in limited release. How I missed them, I'll never know! I know that I would have begged my parents to get one. They were made by the same company, Spearhead Industries that brought us the Dudley Easter egg kits (both designed by the late Bob Williams). I bet you'll remember those!:

Remember that crazy Dudley rabbit?

Now back to Kooky Spooks! Some of the characters were: Ishy Bat, Scardy Cat, Wonder Witch, Woblin Goblin, Wunkin Punkin, Spacey Casey, Bone Head, and Howly Owl. They came with the poncho, an inflatable head portion, makeup and reflective tape.

Here is a shot of some of the whole costume packages owned by Andrew Williams:

The graphics on the packages are so cool and I can see how they would have appealed to kids. I found some other folks online who also had their very own Kooky Spooks experiences as children and they were nice enough to let me share with you all.

First up, this shot from Grayfamilia:

Here is one from Belle Dee at Doo Wacka Doodles:

Here is one from Rotin:

Here is one from C. Biscuit:

Here is one from davef3138:

And here is one from nightowlghoul:

That's him as the little guy there, running from his cousin! I don't think that he was very appreciative of the Kooky Spooks yet.

Every single photo made me shriek with delight. I even watched an eBay auction for one but didn't pull the trigger to bid. Maybe next Halloween!

Do any of you guys and girls remember Kooky Spooks? I looked in vain to find a copy of the old commercial but didn't find it. I'd love to hear your memories - both Kooky Spooks and general Halloween related.

Thanks to everyone who let me share your pictures and memories. It was a lot of fun seeing them.

I wish all of you a great Halloween!

Until next time (don't forget your bicycle pumps if you're Kooky Spookin')
x's and o's,
Eartha

Trick or Treat!

2010-10-30T15:37:00.039-05:00

Hello my little buckaroos! Well, we're rounding the corner to Halloween! One more day to go!

A while ago, I asked anyone who wanted to send in Halloween shots of yourself as kids to do so. Here is a reader round-up! Get along little boys and girls .. goblins and ghouls!

First up, we have this from Charm and Poise:

Is this outfit not intriguing? I remember when I first saw this photo on her Flickr page, people were comparing it to a Diane Arbus shot and I can totally see it. I asked her to tell us more about it:

The weirdest thing for me about this photo is that I don’t remember the costume at all. Of course, I was only 2 when I was snapped sitting on the coffee table before a big night out trick-or-treating but still! No memory of dressing up like, well, a Mystery Bride? Unbelievable! I’m extremely disappointed, then, by the way my brain works. I can say, though, this costume represents one of the rare times when my parents actually bought me a costume instead of insisting I wear one of my dance recital outfits. My childhood Halloweens are marked by a decided allegiance to vague entities like “Super Spangly Gypsy” or “Flapper in a Leotard,” thus this bride outfit was clearly special … or it might just represent a time before I was actually taking dance classes.

As I didn’t remember this costume, I asked my mom if she could tell me anything about it. Apparently I kicked up a real fuss about wearing pants under the bridal gown. Uh, yeah! What bride – already decked out in saddle shoes – wants to ruin her couture look with PANTS? Plus, there are two other slides of this bridal ensemble that proves I was also forced to put on a sweater over my fine gown, so really, resistance to pants seems like a simply sensible choice to retain some semblance of bride-like authenticity.

And the mask? Either my mother truly doesn’t remember or there has been some sort of family-wide decision not to reveal the reason behind it. My already shaky self-esteem might take a real hit, I suppose, if I discover that my family was embarrassed by the beveiled, besocked pint-sized bride traipsing around the neighborhood we’d just moved into. Or maybe I was simply a bride, stung by the pants, yellow socks, saddle shoes, and sweater I was bundled into, who insisted on a little anonymity while parading around the streets looking less bridal than I desired.

I suppose it’s fitting that the Mystery Bride remains cloaked in a veil of inscrutability. She is a Mystery Bride, right? If we all knew the secrets of the pants wearing, masked bride then her mysteriousness would be dimmed. And what fun would that be? Go, Mystery Bride! Go out into the streets with your little white sweater obscuring your finery! Let your sturdy shoes cover miles of suburban sidewalks! Your legs are protected from the crisp fall evening, and the candy is heavy in your plastic, orange Halloween sack (a new kind of bridal trousseau, perhaps?), Go forth into the streets, masked girl, and get yourself some treats!

Way to go, Charm and Poise! We would never want Mystery Bride's mysteriousness to be dimmed. She's right about that! However, I would really love to see the "Super Spangly Gypsy” and “Flapper in a Leotard" costumes. If you meet Sharon today, you'll see that she's a real fashion plate so thankfully, the Mystery Bride look didn't scar her too badly.

Next up, we have Karen!

Her description:

Look how I ROCKED the witch look, complete with the Lady Elaine cardigan sweater. And my mom drew a widow's peak on my forehead, which I think is a nice touch. Don't I look MEAN AND SCARY???

I love that my dad was so into Halloween he put out the skulls and the flashlights to make it SPOOKY. What you can't see or hear is the record player hidden behind the bushes playing Walt Disney's Chilling Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House. My dad would open the door and pretend he was Lurch saying, "You RAAAANG?" Utterly awesome.

She DID completely rock it - and I love that her Dad pretended to be Lurch! This shot is so cute to me because if you've ever met Karen, you can see her here but just a tinier version. With much cuter sweaters.

Next up, we have Mike!

Look at him rocking that little Bugs Bunny costume! Cute! Mike says that he has nothing to report on the costume since he was only two and can't recall anything about it - which I can completely understand. I can't remember things from when I was THIRTY two, so we'll let it slide this time, Mike! (And Charm and Poise, you might like seeing that little princess on the left there. She had to wear pants too! And a mask! You two could have been best buds!) And to bring this one full circle, he later on married a girl who LOVES rabbits.

Now it's Bryan's turn! Bryan is one of the most Halloween obsessed people that I know so I was glad to see that he has some photos of his own childhood Halloweens. Let's take a look and see what he says about these shots, shall we?

That's when we lived in Duluth, MN on a sprawling Military base with TONS of kids,back when the gang of kids took off for the night with no parents driving you from block to block or hiding behind bushes. That was my Little Rascal period where I had my whole gang of grade school pals and we were one unit, like a school of fish (I was 7 there).

You know what I first remember about that pic every time I see it? At that time in '75, Rhinestone Cowboy by Glenn Campbell was out and a HUGE hit and I can vividly remember us singing that song loudly as we cruised the hood trick or treating. The whole time.

The werewolf pic was my only departure from a vampire/Dracula (except for the dreadful year my Mom & sis made me and my nephew go as clown...ugh). That was 81, I was 12. Ive never found out what company made those kits,but they were foam pieces that stuck to your face with little doubles sided sticky foam pieces,and they came with face paint as well. I THINK it was the same people who are famous for the tubes of vampire blood, fake scars,etc. Anyone from the 70's/80's knows what I mean...

Bingo, here we go!

I actually won best costume for that in my 7th grade English class! My prize? Not a damn thing but the admiration of my classmates. I'd rather have the cash equivalent.

Wow, Bryan! I'm with you. What's the fun in winning a contest if there aren't any valuable prizes? I hope that this will make it up to you:

...or make you forgive me when I show this!

Oh my gosh..yep, it's that year that you talked about - the one that you describe as "The Halloween from Hell when my Mom made me go as a clown with my nephew Mike." For some reason, I just can't quit staring at that photo. I think it's partly the makeup. And that this photo is SO classic 70's Halloween. It's amazing that Bryan could be made to look so creepy as he was such a cute kid outside of the clown garb. Thanks for everything, Simplicity!

(Thanks to Charm and Poise for this scan!)

Next up is little Amber from 1979:

Amber adds: The Raggedy on the left is me (not quite five years old), in the middle is my only grandparent, my Dad's Mom, and the little cutie on the right is my cousin Katie.

Talk about cute! Look at those little pink cheeks! Gosh, you kids are SO taking me back to the 70's! Amber still looks just like this too - but with lots less blush.

Next up, we have one from Paper Dolls for Boys!

She reports that she is that cute hula girl in the back row. Look at her grass skirt and leopard print bikini top! And Amber, I think that I see another Raggedy Ann! I love looking at all of the other costumes in this shot too. And that floor model TV. Boy, kids wouldn't know what to think of that today, would they? Paper Dolls for Boys still does truly amazing Halloween costumes and decorations to this very day.

Now it's time to see fineskelington.

He's the little Woody Woodpecker there.

That's his Dad as the mummy reading the paper and his brother as the witch. SO classic! I don't think that I'd thought about Woody Woodpecker in years until I saw these photos. He says that he thought that the Woody costume was great and that he was a wee bit scared of that Mummy. I'd have to second both of those! And I absolutely love the ruffled details on his boots and around his neck. Woody grew up to be an amazing artist specializing in character and creature design. I wonder if he ever thinks back on these costumes?

Next up...me and my bro!

The funny thing about this photo to me is how I look just like that bear on my costume!

Good grief!

My brother says:

I can only guess that with the clown costume, something happened that night that began my fear of clowns. Maybe I was running through the house and ran into a mirror, scaring myself. Or maybe I was out trick-or-treating, and ran into a group of clown-dressed children, who beat me down with their big shoes, and after they ransacked my sack, all I was left with was that awful candy corn.

Ha! He really is scared of clowns and not just saying that because clown fear is in vogue these days. We're both scared of clowns and I'm scared of monkeys. My Mom won't cop to anything horrible happening to us at a circus but sooner or later, we'll break down her defenses and get the true story. My parents better not have adopted us from a circus. Though, that would explain some things.

Hey..wait just a minute!

Umm...

It's all starting to come together now. No wonder my brother loved makeup so much as a kid!

I'd better change the subject or he's going to drive to Tennessee and put me in a figure-four leg lock.

Ooh! That witch costume! I can still remember how great I thought that it was. I can guarantee you that at this age, my parents had to threaten us to get us to stand so close to each other.

My brother weighs in on Spider Man: I look awfully stiff, don't I? Why's my left hand clenched like that? It must be because I can't see out of that mask, and I'm afraid of walking into a wall. Either that, or I'm getting more and more panicked as I remember back on my clown beatdown from years before.

Ha! Can you tell that both myself and my brother always like to think that there is some back-story behind everything, filled with intrigue and drama? And is it just me or does he look like he's gone sleepy time back behind that mask?

Well kids, that's our walk down the lane of trick-or-treating past. Thanks to everyone who let me use your photos. I've sure enjoyed seeing you all as kids!

My buckaroos, I hope that each and every one of you have have a great Halloween! Here is a final flashback for y'all!

Hey, my brother's Spider Man costume was on there!

Until next time, (trick or treat...smell my feet...give me something good to eat..)
x's and o's,
Eartha