tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post3369358620200151254..comments2023-10-25T06:29:09.544-05:00Comments on Ranch Dressing with Eartha Kitsch: My So-Called Embarrassing LifeEartha Kitschhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189308677139650882noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-72610985142293605772014-04-06T09:47:10.523-05:002014-04-06T09:47:10.523-05:00I LOVE this blog!I just stumbled upon it,being a r...I LOVE this blog!I just stumbled upon it,being a retrorenovation fan.I have been lol-ing all morning,thanks to your mortifying stories! You are adorable and I Looooove your house.Thanks for making my morning a good one!kindacrunchynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-66614698667216548702013-04-24T13:41:09.764-05:002013-04-24T13:41:09.764-05:00Almost forgot did I ever tell you about the time I...Almost forgot did I ever tell you about the time I was stuck in a car wash? Yup got stuck early one morning in a car wash the track just stopped working then all the brushes stopped, I was trapped in the middle of a freaking car wash all alone. So I figured I could drive out. Wrong I ended up jumping the track and crashed my car into on of the big ole brushes. Try explaining that to the cops. Yes I was tested to see if I was drunk and no I was not. Just panicked and hit the gas. I figured if I didn't I'd still be sitting there. <br /><br />blugooseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-78269241839935257422013-04-24T13:32:30.390-05:002013-04-24T13:32:30.390-05:00OK here is one of my many. OK here are two. Firs...OK here is one of my many. OK here are two. First one I was in 1st grade and its the end of the day and I really have to pee. I'm pretty sure that our teacher was a former drill sergant because we would have to line up next to our desks and which ever row was the neatest and quietest got to leave first. I raised my hand and the told the teacher I had to go really bad but she said "no be quiet and stand next to your desk."<br />As the rows were being dismissed our row was last so I just whipped it out and whizzed on the floor only to have the teacher catch me mid stream. Told her I had to go. The look on her face was priceless.<br /><br />Later in life I'm at my girlfriends house and we are how should we say it, we were playing hide-n-seek in bed when we heard her mom come home I hopped outta bed like there was no tomorrow only to hop right onto the backing of an earring which went right through the bottom of my foot, that in turn caused me to go crashing through the sliding doors of the closet. As you can guess we were busted.<br /><br />Cheers;<br /><br />blugoose<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-54542287834649323302013-04-16T08:03:39.206-05:002013-04-16T08:03:39.206-05:00Just read this entry,am a couple of days behind! T...Just read this entry,am a couple of days behind! Thanks for your stories, was reading in both amusement and as a fellow klutz in sympathy as well!<br />Owwww....razor blade on your behide, how awful! <br />Read through all the comment section too, so many funny stories.<br /><br />I had that horrible grade school period experience, was wearing tan cordory's, walked home with a jacket tied at my waist while my best friend explained to my male teacher why I was MIA.<br /><br />Once I was in charge of training new employees at work. I had to meet up with them in the lobby and escort them up to the area where the training was done. I had this large group of people following me down a hall, someone asked a question I turned my head to answer and walked into a part of the wall that jutted out for a heat duct. Walked right into it. Then I had to train this large group of people for the morning. Oh god.<br /><br />I did the skirt/underwear flashing thing too, only it was at the hairdressers. I had my hair washed, then was walking over to the chair for the cut and somehow my skirt got bunched into my underwear at the back, I couldn't figure out why the ladies were looking at me. Also, I didn't know the hairdresser who did the haircut...and she never told me, I left the salon like that too.<br /><br />I like reading other people's stories...nice to know that so many people have had "incidents" too!<br />Thanks for the laughs!<br />KateAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-86004426142277117792013-04-14T01:43:52.917-05:002013-04-14T01:43:52.917-05:00I just love your blog - thank you for being so ama...I just love your blog - thank you for being so amazing!<br />A lot of my embarrassing moments came from being a first generation Canadian, my parents were from Germany and we lived on a very tight budget. I wore hand-me downs from my sisters (most of which were hand made and matching, so I wore the same outfit for three years on photo day) and the neighbours boy, though I thought I rocked those red corduroy bell-bottoms (10 years out of style), I was really skinny and the flared bottoms would wrap around my legs and trip me unexpectedly at least 3 times a day - almost got run over by a car wearing them....my worst moments were when my parents bought me horrible rubber winter boots (the cool kids wore leather Cougar boots - I think this might be a Canadian thing)my boots were awful and everyone teased me, I kept leaving them in the school yard and I kept getting called down to the office during morning announcements so that they could give them back to me, I thought that they were cursed for weeks until I realized that my mom had written my name in them...she also made me a head cheese sandwich for lunch one day...no one sat near me in the gymnasium for weeks (yes, I had to eat in the gym...) I was also really tall and my second hand clothes were too short, so I heard 'floods' so often and was called Lerch from the Addams family. I also had the white pants Judy Blume incident (happened during band practice and I had to wait until everyone left and run home - and yes I played clarinet) xo Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-59175934500600450302013-04-13T16:24:22.271-05:002013-04-13T16:24:22.271-05:00GIRL, I LOVE YOUGIRL, I LOVE YOUerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10302238851335279161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-56955388309044103022013-04-13T14:51:51.827-05:002013-04-13T14:51:51.827-05:00Ok, here's mine: back in my mid-20's I wor...Ok, here's mine: back in my mid-20's I worked as an animal control officer in Arizona. One day a call came in about a skunk being stuck in a pvc pipe. It turned out the site was an apt complex and a big crowd had gathered to see this little officer yank a skunk out of a pipe. After some reasoning, I decided the logical thing was to lasso him with a snare pole, unstable and then run.<br /><br />So, I did just that in order except the part where I had no idea skunks could quickly contort faster than I could run. Last thing I remember was a green stream and blindness. I could hear the gasps the huge crowd, but no one would come to me. Finally some one took pity and lead me to a hose. I called my boss to tell what had happened and I was told to go to the er. There, I literally cleared out a very busy waiting room. I had to wash my hair in tomato juice. The smell lingered for days! <br /><br />I was the laughing stock at work as can be imagined. The good thing about is I learned skunk spray is harmless to the eyes and, to this day I am completely immunized to the smell of skunk.Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10788740577135090145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-36345225785691445402013-04-13T07:51:14.014-05:002013-04-13T07:51:14.014-05:00Eartha- We all just love your stories! I'd ...Eartha- We all just love your stories! I'd buy a book for sure.<br /><br />I've got plenty of my own embarrassing moments, but can't do them justice as you might.<br /><br />Thought you'd get a kick out of one of the sweetest gifts from a long ago flame. He interviewed a couple dozen folks (friends and not) about their incidents, and edited it to look like they were all ABOUT ME! Boy-did I look like one jet setting well rounded klutz.<br /><br />I think your pest control lady doesn't know what a good thing she has!chuttinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-78749893424308708992013-04-12T18:57:25.088-05:002013-04-12T18:57:25.088-05:00Of course I am suddenly "drawing a blank"...Of course I am suddenly "drawing a blank" trying to think of my "most embarrassing" experience, but while i am cudgeling my brain, I will share the Miss Manners rule of thumb when and if you see somebody with "a problem". That is to ask yourself: "Can it be remedied easily?<br /><br /> If underwear is stuck in the back waistband, that's a problem about which something "can be done", so you should tell them.(discreetly, please, and maybe even act as their 'wingman" while they resolve the problem!)<br /><br /> If it's something about which nothing can be done (a big stain/tear on their clothing), then SAY NOTHING and pretend not to SEE it, either, to spare them embarrassment.. Though mind you, if I saw that some young woman was starting to show a bloodstain on her pants, I think I'd discreetly give her a "heads'up" about it BEFORE it got any worse! <br /><br />I have also let men know when their flies are undone. I have also let them continue on like that. Depends how I am feeling that day! :-)<br /><br />Well I can't think of any of my own, but I will tell you about one that I am quite sure was completely humiliating to a couple living in a nearby small (largely Mennonite, very uptight) town: Apparently BF had rented a Batman costume to give GF a sexy thrill; he tied her naked to the bed then went out of the room, put on the costume, and swooped into the room to 'rescue" her. the grand finale was his climbing up onto the dresser o"leap" down on her-only he managed to conk his head on the ceiling fan and knock himself out cold...she had to scream and scream until somebody called the local (volunteer) rescue unit, who had to break down the door...I can't imagine how they lived it down!<br /><br /> And no, this is NOT an "urban legend"; it was an actual local incident (that later DID become an "urban legend"!). I read about it in the local paper at the time, and later got actual confirmation from someone on the emergency room staff in attendance that particular evening!) Sufiyanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-46124585298724544252013-04-12T10:21:04.906-05:002013-04-12T10:21:04.906-05:00I don't think I have the balls to share my mos...I don't think I have the balls to share my most mortifying moments! But you might have inspired me to try. Your storytelling is spot on, as always :)<br /><br />Adrienne<br /><a href="http://lolarocksclothing.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">What Lola Wants</a>Adriennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16682124196868651393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-90444224852766245272013-04-12T08:55:40.529-05:002013-04-12T08:55:40.529-05:00Awesome stories! I was cracking up...but also crin...Awesome stories! I was cracking up...but also cringing a little, imagining the humiliation you must have felt. At least you have a wonderful sense of humor about it all.SUZY8-TRACKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847632296019432948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-8012288580506970592013-04-11T21:18:26.494-05:002013-04-11T21:18:26.494-05:00I'm jealous because I want to be your only fri...I'm jealous because I want to be your only friend, your BFF, and I can see from the comments that you have plenty of friends. Thanks for another good laugh.Greener Pastures--A City Girl Goes Countryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05448845964131250749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-61152674246758313232013-04-11T18:51:58.079-05:002013-04-11T18:51:58.079-05:00Oh, you are amazing!
I've always been petrifi...Oh, you are amazing!<br /><br />I've always been petrified of getting in trouble. When I was in 5th grade, I got in trouble one day for having a messy desk. I had to stay in at recess and clean it, with a few other students. I had to pee so bad, but I was petrified that the teacher would yell at me and not let me go. Well, one thing led to another and I ended up sitting in a puddle on the floor by my desk. They made me change into lost and found clothes. I tried making up a story to cover it up, but having witnesses didn't help.<br /><br />Then there was the year that my grandmother bought me a beautiful dress with twirly skirt and patten leather shoes. I was so excited to wear them to school. I made it through the day feeling awesome. Then, walking down to the busses, with all the other bus riders in the school, it happened. The slippery soles of my shiney shoes made my feet just go out from under me. My skirt flew up around me and I slid a few feet down the hill, scraping my butt and thighs with a wicked road rash. It was a long bus ride home.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Morgenhttp://321spacecenturylane.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-44677853868926741252013-04-11T16:58:25.263-05:002013-04-11T16:58:25.263-05:00You are so brave to share all of these stories. I...You are so brave to share all of these stories. I will do whatever I can to not expose any part of my body (even to the doctor). I can't imagine getting stitches in my backside!!! You are hilarious and I think you need to come and tell me stories every single day. I'll bet they're even better when told in your voice!Mr. Tinyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16646297018044505890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-74921208140578148482013-04-11T12:38:00.883-05:002013-04-11T12:38:00.883-05:00Girl, if there is ever a piece of spinach between ...Girl, if there is ever a piece of spinach between your teeth I've got your back!!!Sara In AZhttp://www.nopatternrequired.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-74094932938186735852013-04-11T11:36:52.528-05:002013-04-11T11:36:52.528-05:00If confession truly is good for the soul, yours ou...If confession truly is good for the soul, yours ought to be in great shape, girl! Some of your escapades make my falling into the public water gardens with my 2-year-old sound absolutely boring. Also, been there, done that with the skirt in the underwear, as well as the skirt in the underwear plus a toilet paper tail. We all do embarrassing things, but I guess how well we laugh them off is an indicator of how healthy we are. :)Dana@Mid2Modhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03055460107477850683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-68492645237144906352013-04-11T07:37:53.408-05:002013-04-11T07:37:53.408-05:00Oh my god, this post. WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS! Every...Oh my god, this post. WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS! Everything embarrassing happens to me. I can't even think of a specific example right now because there are so many things. Wait no, here's a middle school story-- when I was in the dreaded 7th grade we went on an ice skating field trip and I almost passed out and everyone made it this huge horrible Thing. I was goofing around with a friend and she yanked me down onto my butt. I didn't hit my head, so this reaction makes no sense, but everything got REALLY DIM and dark and I couldn't hear anything (the joys of passing out! Which I'll come to know well later in life because I used to get dehydrated a lot before I realized that humans are supposed to drink water, but anyway). Everyone gathered around me and I'd never passed out before, obviously, so I had NO IDEA what was happening and I was really freaked out and saying "I can't see! I can't seeeee!!" <br /><br />I never actually lost consciousness but it was close. The worst part was that everyone thought I was faking it and kept saying "Hope's gone blind! She thinks she's blind!" and then later another girl faked almost passing out (for some reason? wtf?) so that made me look even less credible. The whole experience was weird and made no sense. And they all laughed at me on the way back, because of course they did.<br /><br />Also I don't think I've ever met anyone else with the leaky faucet nose problem! That still happens to me and and it'll drip when I bend over. Jeez. The other day we were in the car and my husband was like "Your nose is leaking," and I didn't even notice it because I'm used to it happening now and then. So.Hope Thompsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11964285220618765096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-28216188030858957882013-04-11T07:23:20.436-05:002013-04-11T07:23:20.436-05:00Oh my, oh my! If you never, ever have another unco...Oh my, oh my! If you never, ever have another uncomfortable moment in your life (and I hope you do not), you have enough to write a very humorous book. I think Erma Bombeck would be jealous! (Rob) Rob and Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03549694581084193823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-47844938094790181712013-04-11T00:05:36.323-05:002013-04-11T00:05:36.323-05:00Well, I think when you wear vintage clothing, you&...Well, I think when you wear vintage clothing, you're bound to pop a seam from time to time. Of course I popped one completely up the back of the skirt of my dress while dancing. As I teach kindergarten, I promptly pinned it up with 10 safety pins and nobody cared or even noticed. <br /><br />And my pattern here is I split a pair of pants while, yes you guessed it, dancing with my kindergarten students. Fortunately I had been given am apron with my name on it that very day as a gift. I wore that and walked carefully for the rest of the day. And after school I went to the local tractor supply- it is a very small country town that I commuted to- and bought some Wranglers. And I had to wear them all evening for a school event. Oh yeah, and I couldn't walk like 10 feet without running into families at the store... and there I was in my cutesy teacher apron with my name on it trying not to show my business. ESalazarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14166114886692579582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-79245086625955667172013-04-10T20:27:23.825-05:002013-04-10T20:27:23.825-05:00Oh, Eartha. I thought I'd had some embarrassin...Oh, Eartha. I <i>thought</i> I'd had some embarrassing moments in my life, but you poor thing! It is amazing, really, what we can go through and still hold our heads up, seriously. What doesn't kill us...I mean, some things have happened to me—more like me doing things to myself—but...Though that story about the boy is terrible. Nothing about YOU, but...that's more "what a shallow jerkface" than embarrassing, because there's no reason to be embarrassed when someone else is exhibiting their complete lack of brain cells. He's just a shallow coxcomb!<br /><br />Though my first period—white SHORTS on a Friday the 13th. Thankfully, it was also Good Friday, so I was at least at home. Well, walking the dog. Oi.<br /><br />And they called me "Toucan Sam" (due to my big nose) from 7th grade 'til I left the parochial school for the public one. Unfortunately, my church youth group consisted of many of the same people I had gone to school with, and even our youth pastor—on whom I had a HUGE crush—called me "Toucan Sam" a couple of times. Ouch.<br /><br />There's more, but I'm not sure any of it is nearly as bad as what you've suffered! Nearly swanning off stage during a ballad, maybe? I did walk smack into a sliding glass door at a cast party once, too, though that was so funny I laughed myself silly. What else can we DO?Jenhttp://victoryrollsandv8s.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-50756827254867265022013-04-10T18:55:31.908-05:002013-04-10T18:55:31.908-05:00OMG! I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. ...OMG! I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. It's a gift to just be able to laugh at yourself! My kids roll their eyes at me all the time, but I tell them I am just giving them material for their memoirs, and they will thank me later.<br /><br />My most embarrassing moments...well... I had a super nosy 9th grade english teacher who wanted us to write a story about our most embarrassing moment. Like, who wants to do that? However, I learned it can turn into comic gold.<br /><br />When I was in eight grade, I was suppoed to watch my little 7 year old brother while my mother went to the grocery store.. Believe me, I couldn't care any less about what he was doing. I decided to work on my tan, and set up a chaise lounge in the back yard, complete with my lemonade, bain de soleil, and I had the radio positioned out the kitchen window so I could rock out to my disco tunes. I decided to hike up my bikini a little bit, so I wouldn't have obvious tan lines. I was maxin and relaxin to Rock me gently, and all of a sudden, someone taps me on the shoulders. I open my eyes, and it's a cop in full uniform. He asked me if I knew someone named Andy. I said 'yes, he's my brother". Well, the cop said, while he had his own little looky loo, he called. He said no one was watching him.<br /><br />nice A+ material for that english paper!<br /><br />Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302354822353438811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-10814462405772781492013-04-10T18:05:52.524-05:002013-04-10T18:05:52.524-05:00You seriously need to put a warning at the top of ...You seriously need to put a warning at the top of this post that if you haven't gone to the bathroom in the last 5 minutes, there's a 99% chance you will wet your pants about midway through! I'm so sorry, but those are some of the funniest situations I've ever heard except for the guy who "didn't think you were cute enough". Dick. You DID say that was his name, right? Kelli Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16248051654214519823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-59982471410274186462013-04-10T17:13:03.640-05:002013-04-10T17:13:03.640-05:00When I was a freshman in High school, we had band ...When I was a freshman in High school, we had band practice in the Summer. Being the early 1980's I had on denim cutoffs, a baseball tee, striped tube soks with stripes on top and old school Nikes. We had to practice our marching drills raising the sole of the foot to the height of the altenate knee. Well, I hear a RIP and felt cool air between my legs way up high. I had torn the crotch seam of my cut-off's and was now wearing a denim mini skirt. I immediately left the practice field to the safety of my Moped to go home. Only, the wind from the open air forced what was left of my mini skirt to flap up as I drove. I solved this by removing my helmet and placing it over my crotch as I drove. That worked great until I was pulled over by a police woman for driving without a helmet. Sheesh. I explained my situation but I got a citation none the less. Plus, I had to drive the rest of the way home Al Fresco. Very embarrassing for a kid in a small Texas town...lolAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03403137950446491169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-44251180903003131472013-04-10T16:39:00.910-05:002013-04-10T16:39:00.910-05:00Oh Heavens you just tickle me to no end. See there...Oh Heavens you just tickle me to no end. See there was a reason for all the embarrassment in your life, so that you could brighten the day of another. <br /><br />Diane<br />Honey Stop The Carletthemwinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12347978083249236067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4673220276948215440.post-46841301564942852112013-04-10T16:27:31.685-05:002013-04-10T16:27:31.685-05:00oh Eartha! These are the best, best, besty best of...oh Eartha! These are the best, best, besty best of embarrassing stories ever! I fear I may have too many to tell and might have to do my wn post and turn this into a meme...tee-hee. Here is one for starters. I once dropped a pair of underwear from my pants-leg onto the freshly mopped floor of a Jamba Juice...j. wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05123562404940030878noreply@blogger.com