Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Whole Lot of Doo-Whacka-Doo

Some shots from one day junking in a small Kentucky town:

First up, Watkins Cookbook for Kids Inside

Is it just me, or do you immediately think the worst? Why the scrawled font? Why are the kids inside? Air raid? Nuclear attack? Are they all in a bunker somewhere? And what about the dog? Dear God...WHAT ABOUT THE DOG??!

Now on to something less disturbing:

Well, how you doin'?

My first thought was of Andy Taylor's Aunt Bea. Maybe it's the hat. Or maybe I have some issues that need to be resolved.

And since we're on the "Naked For No Good Reason" train:

Just your average Saturday night.

Her eyes pierce through me. And I want to give that entire guitar a good scrubbing with Simple Green cleaner. Maybe another unresolved issue on my part. Anyone keeping count? I think we're up to two.

Now back to disturbing:

Holy hellfire. This was an apron. A plastic apron with this design over the entire thing repeatedly. This exact same illustration with text screaming, "Soup's On!" and "Come and Get It!" Blekkk..

After that I think that we should lighten up the mood a little. More pig, but this time:

There. I hope that I've redeemed myself.

Oh lord, now I have to spiral back down into horrible:

When Mister Kitsch first showed me this knife holder, I squealed, "Ooh! A rooster! I want it!" Then he said, " you see what is happening?" Soon enough, I did surmise what was happening. Poor Mister Rooster!

I'd make a heck of a detective, don't you think?

And now...

Here comes the bride! Or...something.

For our final stop, I'd like to show you who our backup Ranch Dressing mascot will be if for some reason, Swiffer McCluster can't perform his duties:

Basement dweller, Bizzy Beaver!

I hope that y'all have enjoyed this (mostly disturbing and eye opening) tour of one little Kentucky town.

Until next time..(say your prayers, check your window locks and keep saving up that junkin' money!)
x's and o's,


Barbara said...

Those are some creeeeeeepy manikins!

Where DO you find this stuff?

Eartha Kitsch said...

Aren't they? I'd just have to say that the South is a BEAUTIFUL place to live. :)

Straight Talking Mama! said...

I have never seen a mannequin like that, are you they for real? That's creepy stuff!

an said...


Eartha Kitsch said...

Straigh Talking Mama!: Oh yes, they're definitely for real. The eyelashes and the wigs do me in.

an: is right. When were you going to tell me?! This whole time, I've been trying to bend my legs and stuff. Wasn't the fall down the stairs enough?

Rebecca Jean said...

Cookbook for kids inside what? Prison? The Mafia? Detention for painting on the wall?

The rest is so disturbing I don't even know what to comment. All I can say is, Bizzy Beaver? WTF?!? And who the hell would pay 12 bucks for him?

♥ Rebecca Jean
Midnight Maniac

Eartha Kitsch said...

I have to agree! It's the vagueness that pulls you in. Shamefully, I didn't even open the cookbook to see where all the children had gone.

I'm with you on Bizzy Beaver. At first I said, "Oh!" and then I realized, "Oh no!" I've got odd taste but he couldn't even convince me to take him home.

Charm and Poise said...

At least you know that you will successfully have a future in motionless modeling if you ever need to scrape together a few extra dollars to fund your thrifting habit! :)

Eartha Kitsch said...

Totally! I'm not going to do any of that knitted-hat-with-open-winter-coat kind of modeling though. No ma'am!

1959sharon said...

Well, for one thing, haven't you noticed that yer boy JACK is a a little stiff in the joints ALSO? HMMMM?! "Nuff said, cos your friends don't mind anyway.

That poor, happy, smiling dog just waiting there for the children who will never come back. They were all kept inside because of the attack. One kid even rode his TRICYCLE, for heaven's sake.

That one mannequin has a malicious, calculating look in her eye. You don't. You just seem enthralled, somehow. Hmmmmm.

That "soups on" apron is enough to make me run, screaming, from any kithcen! Yikes!

You are so wildly entertaining! Hee hee!
I LOVE your blog.

Eartha Kitsch said...

Thanks Miss Sharon! I love having you here! :)

Are you sure? Every time that Mister takes photos of me for Flickr where I am trying to evoke some mood, he'll say, "Look scared!" or "Look nervous!" or "Look thrilled!" and inevitably, he'll always say, "You look the same as you always do! Try again!"

Poodle Superstar said...

You left Bizzy Beaver? How can he be the Cursed Swiffer's understudy if YOU LEFT HIM? And is it odd that I see mannequins like that all over the place? Maybe it's a Southern thing. But I don't think so.

Eartha Kitsch said...

Sadly, yes. My $12.00 was already promised...I bet though that he'll still be there if I ever need him!

I'm wondering too. I love those crazy eyed mannequins.

Sara In AZ said...

OMG! You ARE a mannequin - it all makes sense now! :)

Ummmm, I think that dog is in for some trouble girl! Esp. if all the "inside" kids left him outside.

Hey, maybe the rooster on the knife holder only has the ax for protection? 'Don't anyone be messin with the rooster man'. Maybe it was his special ax - like a family heirloom or something. :) And he wanted his picture with it!

BetaMike said...

You had me cracking up to my absolute last breath! I would wear that apron (and nothing else) of course!

user said...

Bizzy Beaver is much more disturbing than all those mannequins and knife holder put together, ha-ha. What a way to end the blog! ;P
Fun non the less.

Eartha Kitsch said...

Sara in AZ: Ha! Yep, now you know!

That dog honestly looks like he's on his last leg and that the giant radioactive ants are bearing down on him.

I like your slant on the rooster! I feel better now. His pappy's ax!

BetaMike: Damn! I knew that the universe kept telling me that it would be worth it to spend that seven bucks on the plastic see-thru apron!

Zakniteh: Isn't he? Something about his penciled on teeth. Or his tiny eyelashes. And thanks! :D

Jen said...

That mannequin's eyes are KA-REEPY. Yikes! Yours are more elfin, and thus not so scary.

The cookbook is unnerving indeed. More frightening, perhaps, is that my thoughts turned out to be pretty much the same as yours even before reading them! The dog appears to already be suffering ill effects from...something. Perhaps its mere existence.

Do you remember that TV show about the department store mannequin that came to life every night after the shop closed?

Karen/Small Earth Vintage said...

Ah, thank you! This totally made my morning.

I'm not sure which is weirder: Bizzy (the albino?) Beaver, or the fact that someone is trying to sell him.

Dane said...

Good my Lord. I never see this kind of thing at the Ohio Thrift Store chain. I think that disappoints me.

Alexandra Bitchford said...

Is it me or do the mannequins look like they would smoke...a lot...

Barbara said...

Dammit, I'm bored here at work, looked at this again and I am screaming laughing.

You never fail to entertain me, even when I've already seen it.