Friday, December 30, 2011

Fireworks and Furry Friends

Hello buckaroos!

Just stopping in to remind you about fireworks and pets. I know that a lot of us and our neighbors will be shooting off fireworks this weekend for New Year's Eve. Some people even start as soon as tonight where I live. And in the daylight even...don't get me started. We often think about how to take precautions for our own safety but what about our pets?

Please remember to put your pets safely inside this weekend. Every year, thousands and thousands of pets run away due to the fear of exploding fireworks and are never found again. They just keep running and before they know it, they're lost. They don't understand the noise and the lights at all, let me tell you. They can run into traffic or deep into the night due to this fear. Every year, on January 1st, I read the ads of people who have lost their pets due to fireworks. It might not be a bad idea to keep them in the day after either as some people seem to still be popping away their leftover fireworks the next day.

I've also read many lost pet ads this holiday season where pets have been lost due to their slipping out the door during holiday house parties. If at all possible, give your pets a safe, closed room of their own during party time. You don't want your friends giving your Fluffy the queso dip anyway.

I'm still in the middle of searching for Skippy Lou, who has been lost for four months and believe me, a lost pet is a very horrible thing. Did you know that a healthy animal can travel hundreds of miles in a single week when lost? I know, this isn't very festive - but I care about you guys and your pets.

While I'm here, let me implore of you to have your pets microchipped. It's safe and really cheap these days and SO worth it. While I've been searching for Skippy Lou, I've heard story after story of pets being found years later and many, many states away because of a simple microchip. Get you some happy tears here and here.

And please make sure that they have secure collars and tags with your updated information. The time to think about this is not after they've become lost and you are panicked. And this just in: Barbara just clued me in on QR Tags. This is an additional tag that can be put on your pet's collar that can be scanned with a smart phone if your pet is found. You kids with your technology today - you KNOW you love that! The finder can then immediately get your contact information and hello, happy reunion!

Also make sure that you have clear, updated photos of your pets in case you have to quickly make a lost pet flier or post them on the internet. Oh! And if you ever switch out your pet's collar, keep the old ones wrapped in gauze in a ziploc bag in a drawer somewhere. We've been using a bloodhound in our search and those collars are the best scent item ever for tracking. The gauze helps keep your pet's scent intact.

Click on the photo below to go to a site with some great tips on helping your pets feel safe and calm during fireworks:

I hope that you and your furry families have a joyous New Year's Eve! Please pass the word to your friends, families and neighbors that have pets as well. This is an exciting, hectic time of year and it's easy to forget to take these precautions.

Until next time,
x's and o's,

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Light It Up!

It's no secret that I am a bit of a nut for blow molds. I was super excited to be asked by Lisa Hallett Taylor to participate in an online article about them over at

Click the photo below to see a pretty slideshow of some awesome blow molds and to learn a little history about them too. My portion is on page five but the whole article is full of eye candy and fun facts:

Until next time (let it glow...let it glow..let it glow..)
x's and o's,

Monday, December 26, 2011

Fa La La La La

I hope that you all are having a great holiday season! Ours is still in full swing. We've made our way through Tennessee, Georgia and South Carolina and are still in full-on party food snacking mode. Pimento cheese truly is addictive. And don't get me started on the regional favorite of white bread - which if we're honest is like shooting sugar right into one's veins.

Now we're getting ready to hit the day-after-Christmas sales. Yes, it's true. I'm a wrapping paper hoarder. I've told the Mister that if I die before I can use it all, he is welcome to construct my coffin out of the stockpiled rolls of paper and bling it out with the four thousand slivers of tangled ribbons that I've kept. And if money is especially tight, he has the option to have me cremated and displayed in one of my "Yes, I have way too many but they are dirt cheap and I promise that I will give cookies to everyone as gifts next year, m'kay?" cookie tins.

Let's just hope that I die during a Christmas season or people are going to think that he's a real cheapskate!

Here's a little show-and-tell for you until I can get back and give you the scoop on all of the holiday spills, chills and thrills away from the ranch:

From the gift pile

The aftermath

Dad's corner

At Mom's House. Knew that Santa was watching me. Did not steal.

Still questioning decision.

Until next time,
x's and o's,

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Happy Christmas Eve Buckaroos!

Monday, December 19, 2011


Just when I think I've seen the end-all-be-all of Christmas stockings, a package arrives in the mail from my friend, Joan:

...who apparently knows me like the back of her hand.

Do you hear angels singing? Because, I do.

Little googly eyed kitty cat angels. With bows on their tails. Draped in garland.

These are the kinds of things that I like to remember when I lose faith in the world.

Until next time (remember...every time a bell rings, a tabby gets it's wings!)
x's and o's,

Sunday, December 18, 2011

That Year Of The Giant Snow People

I bought myself a little Christmas gift. My friend, Joan found this photo on Etsy and passed it on the link to me. And I just had to have it.


It's got everything that makes my heart happy.

Enormous Snowmen? Check!

Stern Slightly Distant Lady?Check!

Freaky Flat Santa Guy? Check!

Eep. What a pair, huh?

I'm still waiting for the photo to arrive and I can't wait to get a better scan of the details. Or to map out my own freakishly gigantic snowmen for the lawn next year. What do you think is in there? Ranch Dressing friend Peashells suggested that they might be bushes - and I think she's right. That would be perfect.

As we don't have any bushes, I think that mine will be chock full of cat hair, dryer lint and Sonic grilled cheese wrappers.

Until next time
x's and o's,

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Oh, so okay. I've come to terms with it. The Christmas decorations just aren't going to happen this year.

I did manage to put up the huge Santa head that I found last week:

But beyond that, we still have a Christmas tree with lights and no ornaments standing in our living room. Truly, it's still pretty when the lights are low and it does kinda sorta feel like Christmas.

Since I love seeing everyone's Christmas decor tours, I thought that I'd fake one of my house using photos from last year. Oh, why the heck not? So, this is what my house would have looked like this year if life hadn't gotten in the way. Enjoy!

Okay, that last one is my Mom's house but I figured while I'm cheating, I'm going to cheat it up!

So there you go. I hope that you enjoyed the tour of 2010 pretending to be 2011. I should have the word "kitsch" slapped out of my name for my transgressions this holiday season, I know. And somewhere states away, my Mom who puts up a dozen Christmas trees is filing paperwork to disown me. Oh what a year, people. Oh what a year!

Here's to a festive finale to 2011 and to 2012 being ah-mazing! I just know that next year, I'll have everything done months in advance. Mmm hmm..

Until next time (All aboard! Next stop..Procrastination Station!)
x's and o's,

Monday, December 12, 2011

Hustle and Bustle

This guy looks like I feel. I only have a few Christmas presents bought and no Christmas cards written or sent. No halls decked. No holiday baking or crafting done. Not to mention that Christmas tree standing in my living room with lights but no ornaments. Even the cats seem to know that it's inferior as they haven't even bothered to destroy it. Meow. Meh.

It's so funny how we have a full year to get ready for the holidays. I mean we know that they are coming but in the end, people like me are running around calculating shopping days and mailing deadlines at the last minute. I so want to be the girl with perfectly wrapped presents under the tree. The one who is bustling between neighbors' front doors, dressed like Christmas joy and delivering freshly baked cookies. But instead - Oh Mylanta...I'm going to be one of those people, standing at the post office in line for two hours while some stranger behind me breathes down my neck with a rasp that can only mean that I'll be moaning in bed with a flu within a week's time.

Tell me,'re all done, aren't you? You're sitting back with hot cocoa and cookies with sprinkles and thinking, "Ahhhh.." Right?

Until next time,
x's and o's,

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Clickety Clickety Click Click

This weekend, I got my dream typewriter. Well, the Mister got it for me. Being the mighty hunter that he is, he nabbed it from an estate sale. It's from the 60's and is from the Italian maker, Olivetti.

Ciao Bella!

It's clean as a whistle. The case was completely decrepit but the typewriter is pristine. Score one for the fast moving Mister! I showed him a photo of it sitting under a table all forlorn in the sale ad. Like my own personal shopper, he went quick like a bunny and brought that baby home.

I like to think of him fighting off hipsters as he makes his way to the lady with the cash box. Cries of "But..we were going to sell it on Etsy!" trailing behind him.

Since it's older, it doesn't have a key for an exclamation point.

Did you know that most typewriters didn't have those until the 1970's? True. I mean, true!

Being the overenthusiastic writer that I am, I use exclamation points a lot. My understanding is that before typewriters had them, an exclamation point was made by typing a period and then backspacing and adding an apostrophe over the period.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said "Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes."

Oh, that F. Scott...I'd hate to think of him living in our ROFL!!! LMAO!!! OMG!!! society of today.

Until next time (the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!!!)
x's and o's,

Audio Crush - Shotgun Party

Shotgun Party - Great Big Kiss from Live & Breathing on Vimeo.

Friday, December 9, 2011

The "I Want To Own Him Immediately" Santa

If you've been taking a spin on the Wacky Santa Train (choo! choo!) with me this week, you'll know by now that I delight not only in Christmas but also in the Crazy Creepy Christmas. It was with pure unbridled joy today that I came across this guy:

Um, whoa.

And are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Someone took The Village of The Damned and mixed it with Christmas. Someone who obviously knows the inner longings of my heart.

No, no....unfortunately I do not own him (hangs head in sadness) but it's this shot that makes me want to own him more than anything:

Oh my gosh.

Want some more? Because you KNOW you do!

That picture right there makes me want to buy him just so that I can use this shot on my Christmas cards next year. Could I possibly love him more? Because, no..I couldn't.

Here is the text from the eBay auction:

You are bidding on what I believe to be the coolest vintage stuffed Santa in existence. This Santa appears to have been made in the 30s or 40s The body and head are stuffed, the face is painted and he has light sockets for eyes. When plugged in, the eyes flash on and off. All pieces of the Santa suit are present except for perhaps his belt, if he in fact had a belt originally. Both Santa and the suit are in about the condition you would expect of a 60-70 year old item, worn but presentable. This is the easily the coolest and creepiest Santa I have ever seen and I believe it's pretty rare, try to find another on the net. If you've read this far, you know you want him. Look into his eyes...go


It's true - he is rare. And I've never seen one before as if I had, I'd still be talking about it even if it were years ago. As for now, I will only dream about him coming to Kitschville as all of my "fun money" has to go to things that don't evoke shrieks of glee this year. But if you want to make him yours, go on over and see the super nice seller bertie2330 here: Ho! Ho! Ho!

Until next time (let it glow...let it glow..let it glow),
x's and o's,

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Very Nervous Santa

In keeping with the theme of yesterday's post, today I'd like to show you another Santa from my collection.

Also from 1952 - but this time, the very nervous Santa!

Whoa Nellie!

Since there's just so much to think about here, we'll not get bogged down in the fact that he has no legs. We'll just focus on his face. That face that brings to mind someone who is getting a way too personal pat-down from airport security.

Or perhaps a man who is trapped on the tiny ledge of a skyscraper and is inching slowly towards an open window. Both things that you never think about Santa being involved in.

And once again, just like yesterday's Santa, the box is pretty deceptive:

On the left: Police Lineup Santa

On the right: Santa Glo

That said, he's also nothing like the advertisement from the Sears catalog either:

I remember watching this Western once where the bad guys (yes, I said "bad guys" like an eight year old) tied up a man in the middle of the desert to torture him until he slowly died from baking in the sun. That's what this illustration reminds me of. Picture rope around his wrists and men in black hats snarling through chewing tobacco stained teeth..

Until next time,
x's and o's,

Monday, December 5, 2011

Santa Follows You

Yesterday I noted that there should be a "Scared Straight" program for holiday blow mold addicts like myself. Then I remembered this awesome wall Santa that my Mom gave me a couple of years ago:

Adequately scary, huh?

This guy should come with a light bulb and a restraining order.

Here's an ad for him from the 1952 Sears catalog:

Is it just me or does he look jollier...friendlier in the ad?

They briefly mention that he's made so that his eyes appear to follow you around the room.
Because leering is festive.

But wait until you get a look at the company's name that made him....


Of course, I had big hopes that this place would still be open and sending out Santas to follow stalk the masses after all of these years but alas:

A strip mall restaurant

Records show that Santa Follows You, Inc. filed to be a for-profit business on Thursday, April 03, 1952 and then, not a single mention of them ever again. Not a peep. Not a ho ho ho.

Being a huge fan of The Twilight Zone, I like to imagine that this company was set up for a short time only to send these Santas to follow us out into the world (for an eerie purpose that has yet to reveal itself) and then as the clock struck midnight on that Christmas night in 1952 they evaporated into thin air.

Tomorrow (in an attempt to keep the Crazy Santa train rolling on down the tracks), I'll share with you a very nervous Santa.

Until next time (he sees you when you're sleeping..he knows when you're awake),
x's and o's,

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Coming Soon....Huge Freakin' Santa Head

There should be a "scared straight" program for blow mold addicts.