Thursday, August 16, 2012

Pants Are Optional


I haven't posted anything happy in a while so I thought I'd show y'all this old cake decoration that I found. What I like the most is that it looks like the Rooster is all business on the top and party on the bottom. Pants are optional in the barnyard. And on Easter apparently! Cockadoodle Whoo Hoo Hoo!



I'll talk to y'all soon!

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Dear People of The Future: We Plumb In Peace

Thanks so much to everyone for your comments on my last post. And for your advice too. Things are still grinding on here at the ranch. On Thursday, we reached our tipping point and called the contractor up and demanded his presence at our house (as we'd had none up to this point). He tried to be a real ass about things but we didn't let him intimidate us in the least. This is not our first rodeo and so it isn't our first experience with rodeo clowns who call themselves "contractors" either. It was very cathartic, let me tell you!

The hole in the floor is now covered over with concrete so that's a step in the right direction. The plumbing has been fixed too which gives us peace of mind. The kitchen is still a complete disaster zone and we'll be living without one for a while longer. After becoming tired of ordering pizza, we went to the grocery store and tried to come up with groceries that could be cooked in a living room microwave. I'm afraid that I bought way more frozen egg rolls than should be allowed into one's home. And a frozen Stouffer's mac and cheese large enough to feed an army. The Mister went a different route and pansy-ed out with fresh fruits and vegetables. Yeah, whatever. We all pick our own poisons, I suppose.

I can't remember when we have ever been this tired and stressed. This morning, I was walking down the driveway, consciously attempting to look presentable because we just got new neighbors next door who I haven't met yet. I was so tired that I walked right into the side of a car, sloshing orange juice down my arms. Right beside their window. Then I had to keep walking, acting like I meant to do it. Because that's what you do, right?

We've got a ways to go but right now we feel like things are on track. Today the Mister is putting drywall up behind where the cabinets will go as there was none before. Let me tell you - when those cabinets came out, it looked like shanty town behind there.

 

Someone told me once that if we were allowed to see the hidden workings behind things, afterwards we'd never trust them to work again. That was proven with this wall. The last people inside of there had stuffed it full of broken boards, a pitiful attempt at insulation and wires hanging willy-nilly. Today, we're tidying that up and leaving something even nicer inside:

A Time Capsule!



We have hopes that it will be many more decades before anyone finds it so the items inside will be pretty interesting and historically significant. I know that I would have loved to have found something like this inside of the walls from when it was closed up in the 1950's. I would have lost my mind from glee actually. We've done this in both of our houses so far. Some day when someone pulls out the medicine cabinet at our old house, they'll find a vintage drinking glass and some wacky pictures. We love hiding notes and souvenirs behind walls and fixtures for people to find later on.


Inside of the time capsule, we put pictures showing how the house looked when we bought it plus several after our restoration work. There are also some photos of us and some coupons (because I think it will be fascinating for the future residents to see how much groceries cost in 2012), vintage playing cards and a pickle bag (because my nickname is "Pickles" and well, who can resist a pickle in a top hat?). I also included screen grabs of the pertinent news items of the day including:


  • Chick-fil-A Kiss Day Protest
  • Will Ferrell Upset At Kristen Stewart
  • 10-Foot Beehive a "Mountain of Hell"
  • Dwarf Goat Knocks Over Playmate
  • Man Plunges Off Cliff While Texting
  • Snooki Show Renewed


Wow, I hope that this time capsule is found well after people forget about Snooki and why it's supposed to be anyone's business who other people love and marry. Though, I imagine that a ten foot beehive will always be considered a "mountain of Hell". 

Mister Kitsch did this drawing and note for the future finders: 


Then we both laughed and said how tragically funny it would be if we are the next people who open up the wall and find the time capsule and note from ourselves about how bad of an idea it is to put plumbing in a slab.  Yes, that would be a laugh riot!  I also left the people of the future a handwritten note asking them that if they are indeed ripping out the original kitchen, to reconsider what they're doing. Yes, my nagging knows no time limit or bounds! It's eternal...

I hope that you all are having a great weekend! Oh, and before you rush off to see why Will Ferrell is angry with Kristen Stewart, be sure and go here to see this person's horror tale and photo essay entitled:  Bees In My Roof

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Calgon, Take Me Away!


I'm shell-shocked. 




Okay, so you know those bloggers who post only happy stuff every day? The bloggers who seem to live in a world where the worst thing that ever happens is that their vintage sheet forts collapse on their heads?  I realize wholeheartedly that Ranch Dressing has become the opposite of that lately. But so it goes. I've lived way too long to pretend that sugar plum fairies wake me up with candy coated kisses every morning. Today has been a horrible day.

Yesterday, I showed you the hole where our kitchen used to be. Today, that hole got even bigger. And that damned contractor that the insurance company forced on us has turned out to be just as lax as we expected. We have to call him every day to ask him what's happening next. It's like we don't even exist. We're here washing our dishes in the bathtub and getting up at six in the morning just to have subcontractors not show up. It's day three and we're already over it. Completely over this whole thing.

To make things worse, we awoke around four o'clock this morning to find that Pip, our tuxedo kitty was very sick. We rushed her to the vet the minute that they opened only to learn that she had become so stressed from the jackhammering and general madness up in here that her poor little system had become constipated into a very dangerous situation. She was in horrible pain. She's been to the vet twice today and has come home to what promises to be a mad house for quite some time. She's endured many injustices today including the worst hack grooming job that I've ever seen.  I feel so horrible for her. And for the vet tech that had to get up this morning and do kitty enemas. On top of the unexpected $400+ vet bill today, well...we're just worried about our Pipster. A lot.

Where we once had a fair approximation of when this project would end, now we have nothing but questions with no answers. And a big gaping trench through the kitchen. And a stressed tuxedo cat who wishes she didn't live here. 

If it weren't for our plumber showing up in a head-to-toe camouflage jumpsuit with a bullet hole straight through the crotch, I'd be convinced that this world is no longer full of wonder and joy.  God bless him.

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Light a candle for us. Use your kitchen sink in our honor. We've been bitch-slapped by the fates but we're going to keep getting up every morning until the happily-ever-after begins again.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha