Saturday, August 4, 2012

Dear People of The Future: We Plumb In Peace

Thanks so much to everyone for your comments on my last post. And for your advice too. Things are still grinding on here at the ranch. On Thursday, we reached our tipping point and called the contractor up and demanded his presence at our house (as we'd had none up to this point). He tried to be a real ass about things but we didn't let him intimidate us in the least. This is not our first rodeo and so it isn't our first experience with rodeo clowns who call themselves "contractors" either. It was very cathartic, let me tell you!

The hole in the floor is now covered over with concrete so that's a step in the right direction. The plumbing has been fixed too which gives us peace of mind. The kitchen is still a complete disaster zone and we'll be living without one for a while longer. After becoming tired of ordering pizza, we went to the grocery store and tried to come up with groceries that could be cooked in a living room microwave. I'm afraid that I bought way more frozen egg rolls than should be allowed into one's home. And a frozen Stouffer's mac and cheese large enough to feed an army. The Mister went a different route and pansy-ed out with fresh fruits and vegetables. Yeah, whatever. We all pick our own poisons, I suppose.

I can't remember when we have ever been this tired and stressed. This morning, I was walking down the driveway, consciously attempting to look presentable because we just got new neighbors next door who I haven't met yet. I was so tired that I walked right into the side of a car, sloshing orange juice down my arms. Right beside their window. Then I had to keep walking, acting like I meant to do it. Because that's what you do, right?

We've got a ways to go but right now we feel like things are on track. Today the Mister is putting drywall up behind where the cabinets will go as there was none before. Let me tell you - when those cabinets came out, it looked like shanty town behind there.


Someone told me once that if we were allowed to see the hidden workings behind things, afterwards we'd never trust them to work again. That was proven with this wall. The last people inside of there had stuffed it full of broken boards, a pitiful attempt at insulation and wires hanging willy-nilly. Today, we're tidying that up and leaving something even nicer inside:

A Time Capsule!

We have hopes that it will be many more decades before anyone finds it so the items inside will be pretty interesting and historically significant. I know that I would have loved to have found something like this inside of the walls from when it was closed up in the 1950's. I would have lost my mind from glee actually. We've done this in both of our houses so far. Some day when someone pulls out the medicine cabinet at our old house, they'll find a vintage drinking glass and some wacky pictures. We love hiding notes and souvenirs behind walls and fixtures for people to find later on.

Inside of the time capsule, we put pictures showing how the house looked when we bought it plus several after our restoration work. There are also some photos of us and some coupons (because I think it will be fascinating for the future residents to see how much groceries cost in 2012), vintage playing cards and a pickle bag (because my nickname is "Pickles" and well, who can resist a pickle in a top hat?). I also included screen grabs of the pertinent news items of the day including:

  • Chick-fil-A Kiss Day Protest
  • Will Ferrell Upset At Kristen Stewart
  • 10-Foot Beehive a "Mountain of Hell"
  • Dwarf Goat Knocks Over Playmate
  • Man Plunges Off Cliff While Texting
  • Snooki Show Renewed

Wow, I hope that this time capsule is found well after people forget about Snooki and why it's supposed to be anyone's business who other people love and marry. Though, I imagine that a ten foot beehive will always be considered a "mountain of Hell". 

Mister Kitsch did this drawing and note for the future finders: 

Then we both laughed and said how tragically funny it would be if we are the next people who open up the wall and find the time capsule and note from ourselves about how bad of an idea it is to put plumbing in a slab.  Yes, that would be a laugh riot!  I also left the people of the future a handwritten note asking them that if they are indeed ripping out the original kitchen, to reconsider what they're doing. Yes, my nagging knows no time limit or bounds! It's eternal...

I hope that you all are having a great weekend! Oh, and before you rush off to see why Will Ferrell is angry with Kristen Stewart, be sure and go here to see this person's horror tale and photo essay entitled:  Bees In My Roof

Until next time,
x's and o's,


Lakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping] said...

This is such a genius idea! Every cloud and all that... Just a shame you won't get to see how they react when it's finally found. I would absolutely love to come across something like this, seriously.

Kate H said...

Whatever you do, don't leave a cat in the wall. Make sure everyone is present and accounted for BEFORE the last nail goes in.

BEESTLYproducts said...

haha! what a great idea. kinda makes me wish we didn't rent. just a little.

Anonymous said...

We were without a kitchen for 6 months at the old house. We did the same thing as you washing dishes in the bathroom. This is what we ate, because all we had was a microwave too. I ate a lot of salads, sandwiches, frozen dinners, and we ate out a couple of times. During the 6 months I gained about 10 pounds, I was so depressed from living in one room all I did was eat chocolate and doritos and watch Will and Grace.

Dana@Mid2Mod said...

It's great that you found the wherewithal to leave a time capsule and laugh in such a stressful situation. This too shall pass...just not quickly enough. My a/c won't be fixed until Tuesday.

erin said...

you guys are the best :)

Pam Kueber said...

You are without a doubt the funniest person in the world.

Rita@thissortaoldlife said...

In my very first house, we found a letter from the 30s. It felt like finding treasure. I wish I had a time machine and could travel into the future and be the people who find your time capsule!

Unknown said...

Hey there sweet lady!

I am completely 100% sure that I am stealing your idea...just sayin'
Hidden time capsules = GENIUS!

My current home seriously depresses me every is literally crumbling apart. The only sanity I get from my devastating dump is that I fill it to the brim with all my vintage goodies...covering up the not-so-lovely decay. Someday...I will have my 1950's dream home with hardwood floors, a nice minty colored bathroom and of course the most amazing mid-cent dream kitchen...someday.

I do have to say however...if I did happen to come across a pretty little time capsule hidden behind the multi-wallpapered walls...or possibly the uneven floor boards...I would be pretty darn ecstatic! That would definitely make my day...month...YEAR!
So...yeah. I am definitly stealing your ridiculously awesome idea and leaving a clever and incredibly silly little capsule for the next poor souls who decide to fix this place up! :) I just hope that they will appreciate it as much as I would! I would probably poop my pants out of excitement... ;)

Thanks for the lovely post my dear :) it was a nice little night-cap to my evening ;)

P.S. I made a little Ad space for you on the blog...cuz i love your face ;)



Karen/Small Earth Vintage said...

I am in awe of you and the Mister for thoughtfully providing this awesome time capsule for future inhabitants of your home--especially in the midst of the hell you are going through. I probably would have keeled over if I saw what was behind the walls. (Which is why, when Andy was pulling down our water-damaged and carpenter ant-infested bathroom ceiling, he suggested I not look. I really don't want to see the sausage being made.) Here's to the nightmare being over, soon!

Sara In AZ said...

I love your time capsule idea and I think my very favorite item in it is the pic Mr Kitsch drew. "Pipe under concrete...weird idea" HA!!!! and you probably don't ever want to move to AZ! ;)

Glad things are slowly coming together, I know it's been hell for you and the kitties.

Rae - Say It Aint So said...

AMAZING! i would flip my lid to find something like that is my house! we found a weird, flat little plastic jesus in the closet of our house and i love it. and your time capsule is HILARIOUS. i especially like that you included a picture of the hall of rainbows.

SUZY8-TRACK said...

Awesome idea! Love it! Lets hope the madness ends soon and you get your kitchen back!

Funkomatic said...

Glad progress is being made. Even more glad you two have a sense of humor about it. Love the time capsule and oddly hope that no one has to find it.

Hope the kitchen continues to improve at a rapid rate!

Betty Crafter said...

Oh no. That all sounds like a flippin nightmare. But I love love LOVE that you're putting a time capsule back there, and EXTRA love that you're including a pickle bag! Mr. Crafter has a pickle bag collection if you can believe it.
Sending you some construction-good-karma.

catherine said...

Time Capsule! Absolute brilliance!

In the early 70s my parents "remodeled" the house, in the process of taking out a wall they found among the newspaper a 1800s wall map of the state we lived in...chaos, er, I'm kidding, the state of Wisconsin. And then 15 or so years later my mother took it in the divorce. I have visions of stealing it some how.

Jennifer said...

My husband is a carpenter so I feel your pain. He is from what I feel is a small pool of people who do a quality job and truly care about the people they work for and I know they are not easy to find. Hang in there and don't let them bully you around :)

A time capsule is an awesome idea and he is truly delighted when he is remodeling someone's home and comes across little treasures in the wall that he can share with the current homeowners.

DearHelenHartman said...

What a hoot! Y'all are darling and brilliant. I hope whoever turns up that treasure appreciates it.

Gina said...

Goodness, I am stealing your wickedly clever time capsule idea! I'm in the process of demolition for the sake of revival right now! I so wish is find a time capsule, but si far only a old mcd toy shoved in a crumbling ceiling crack. :(
Hang in'll have yr house back soon!!!

Unknown said...

If I found a pickle in a tophat within my walls, i would be tickled pink. I hope the people of the future enjoy the actual pickle bag as much as I enjoy the concept of it.

The Curious Holts said...

OH my GOSH that is the BEST idea!! I'm am so envious and can't WAIT to do that when we do our next remodel. I have to say I also have a little niggle in me wondering why the hell someone would redo what I had painstakingly done? hawww. Hubris in the walls.
Just LOVE this idea SO much.
PS Why IS Will Ferrell mad at Kirsten Stewart?

Georgie Horn said...

only you and MR Kitsch

user said...

What an absolutely marvelous idea! I love, Love, LOVE it!

alix said...

the time capsule idea is BRILLIANT!!!!! I will have you know that i have been a crappy commenter and blog reader these past few months (so apologies for that) BUT I was made aware of this post from my MAMA who reads you regularly!!!!! I love that! (She found you via modern kiddo comments) I can't believe everything you've been through with that kitchen!!! You are amazing that you are handling it with great humor (of course) grace.....and that bad ass pickle bag in the time capsule!!!! xoxo Alix