What's Up

Hey y'all! I hope that you all are having a great week! Ours has been kind of crazy so far. We are STILL dealing with the flooring fiasco. We finally got our contractor to refer us to an actual flooring company - after a rather uncomfortable afternoon where we had to force his flooring guy to leave our property. No joke. Awkward!

The new company sent out a guy who actually stood in our kitchen and laughed and laughed at the job that was done by the other people. Which gave us faith that if he knows what a bad job looks like, he can most likely eek out a good job. In the end, the new crew is going to have to pull up all of the flooring that the other guy did, scrape up the glue and start over. Unfortunately, they can't start until  next week so we're still eating microwave and toaster oven food.

Let's see...what else is going on? Oh! The other night, we went on an adventure! Someone reported that a guinea pig was seen running around in traffic on the four lane road near our house so the Mister and I drove up and down streets for a long time, trying to spot a guinea pig in the dark. I have no idea what kind of jerk released a guinea pig out into an urban area but I still have hope that he'll end up in my yard. Poor boo.

By now, Mister Kitsch knows that if I say late at night "Want to go on an adventure!?" that he should turn me down. He actually did turn me down this time until I said, "No...no! It's not a dog! It's a guinea pig!" He was all, "Oh, a guinea pig! Let me get my shoes!" Poor guy. He's been conditioned to my lifestyle. He didn't even ask me if I was joking.

And today, I saw my neighbor's house getting robbed! I heard a loud muffler and looked out the window to see a truck in my neighbor's driveway. I thought that maybe someone was there to cut the grass  - but then I realized that the guys in the truck had cracked into the garage and were stealing stuff. Unfortunately, the police got there too late and the burglars made a get-away.  There are a lot of daytime burglaries in our area and I can never get over how brazen the criminals are. I mean, these guys just drove down to the end of the driveway in a truck with a loud muffler, completely drawing attention to themselves - and then started stealing stuff. My neighbor on the other side ran out into the yard and tried to chase them to get their license plate number but unfortunately, couldn't get it. We got an excellent description of them and their truck though. It was a very Cagney and Lacey kind of day!

Oh! And gawd..okay. So, the last time that I had to call the police was last year when there was a strange man lurking behind houses. I literally awoke to see him in the yard near my window. So when the police came, I was barefoot and wearing a skirt, a huge wool coat and the worst case of bed head that I've ever had. It was actually a side ponytail circa 1984 with bedhead. Take a moment to picture that, if you will. Oh, and no bra. Because that's what I get for making fun of women on COPS who never seem to be wearing bras when the long arm of the law comes after them. I'll never forget standing in my front driveway looking like a damned crazy fool with a row of cats lined up in the window behind me. I'd become that lady.

Today, I looked just as ridiculous. You see, I had just returned from the store where I decided to purchase a new eyebrow pencil with this built-in brush thingie. When I got home, I noticed how great the lighting was outside and thought that it might be a good idea to try it while in the car.  After using the pencil, I realized that I looked like I'd filled in my eyebrows with a brown crayon and that they were unnaturally thick and wild looking. Imagine Joan Crawford's brows if they were going down hill on a bobsled.  Anyway, I chuckled to myself and went inside where nobody could see me. Mere minutes later, the criminals hit the scene. Of course, I'd completely forgotten about the waxy inchworm eyebrows crawling across my face and went out to talk to the police. I didn't realize until a couple of hours later when I passed a mirror that I still had on my faux pas brows and that one of them had sweated down my face. Mortifying!

I looked a lot like this guy.  

Can you believe that I donated this cookie jar?? Insane.

I guess that the lesson here is to always be prepared for a police interview. Or for the media. Not too long ago, I rolled out of bed on a lost dog hunt and ended up on the 6:00 and 10:00 news with no makeup and nary a comb having touched my hair! And wearing that same stupid crazy cat lady wool coat. 

I hope that you all have had a great week so far and that your natural features are firmly in place! But before I go, I want to share some something cool with you.



Wasn't that beautiful? You can learn more about the artist, Sue Austin and her underwater wheelchair here and  here.

And on the flip side, go here to read about a surprisingly lucrative find for one young boy:

Charlie's Golden Ticket

Can't you just hear Veruca Salt screeching "Daddy! I want whale vomit and I want it NOW!!"?

I'm pretty landlocked here in Tennessee but have high hopes that  I'll find one of those in a thrift store one day. Or in the back of an estate sale closet.

Until next time,
x's and o's,
Eartha