Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Shrapnel From The Thrift Store Trenches - #1

In my hunt for lovelies for the ranch, I am always scrounging around in thrift stores. A lot of days, the pickings are slim and I go home empty handed - but I hardly ever go away devoid of crazy stories of things that I have seen or perhaps overheard. I would like to include a regular feature on Ranch Dressing compiling the photos and stories of things that I see or hear that tickle me. Or stump me. Or make me whip out the antibacterial hand wash. Or on a really good day, all three.

If you are a thrift store patron, I am sure that you know that sometimes, it's the stuff that you DON'T buy that is really the meat in the stew.

The first installation in this series is something that I'd like to call, "When you babies get a paying job, THEN you can waste toilet paper!"


Okay...so....and....Let me add that this was a large one too. Not something that someone could hang behind the bathroom door and never notice. Someone had to really commit to this piece to bring it home with them.

Can you imagine what photos hit the cutting room floor if THIS version made it to print?

First off, you have this poor little guy who is clearly being tortured. Didn't he have a parent on set? Were they on such a tight schedule that they couldn't have taken a minute to dry his tears and perhaps, explain the concept of the photo shoot to the little lad so that he could truly understand the character that he was playing? It's obvious that he had lost his creative vision.

And my gosh, look at little Oscar the Grouch back there, wedged into that trash can like a crusty, discarded Kleenex! And what about HIS parents? When they heard that their baby son would be shoved into a trash can and propped up next to a bidet, did they picture this as being the first step towards great fame for him? This whole thing is starting to make me feel like a better parent - and I don't even HAVE kids!

Forget those pageant babies...I wish that the Learning Channel would do a behind-the-scenes "Where are They Now?" show on the bathroom babies!

Who was the mastermind behind this shoot? And my god, were they so cheap that they couldn't find another baby to wedge into the bidet?

And more importantly, who donated this piece to the thrift store and did they have it hanging in their home for many years? Did the threesome of babies make them giggle every time that they passed it?

These are questions that we will never know the answers to. Questions that will lodge into our psyches as shrapnel from the thrift store trenches.

Until next time...
x's and o's,


Sara In AZ said...

Oh Eartha! You should have sooooo brought this one home. :) JK! The poor baby in the garbage really is pretty sad. Don't ya just love thrift stores!

Eartha Kitsch said...

Ha! I sure do love the thrifts. They are like no other place on Earth! I've been toying with the idea of buying insane pieces like this to go in our horrible garage laundry room. Maybe a gallery of insane art? I'm afraid that once I get started though, I won't be able to stop! :)

An said...

Pip would have been a great addition to this photo.

Eartha Kitsch said...

Ha! I guarantee you that if we have kids and Pip at the same time, it's going to be a LOT like this! :)

Pip is actually doing the contest drawing for me today. At noon, I am going to present her with the slips of names and see what happens! You know, kind of like the groundhog who sees his shadow....or that octopus that the sports fans are following.

Alexandra Bitchford said...

Wow. That one poor child is actually scratching his head and pondering about how in the hell he got stuck in all of that toilet paper.

Eartha Kitsch said...

I know! He looks like he was sitting off to the side minding his own business when all of a sudden someone swooped him up, sat him in this scene and swirled toilet paper around him while screaming, "Now! Shoot it now! Before the garbage can baby falls over again!"

ellyn said...

that crying child is the smartest one in the bunch. he clearly knows that the whole thing just ain't right.

i love your idea for an art gallery of craziness in your laundry. i've done a hokey nautical theme in our guest bath for the mister, who wanted it to look like a boathouse. (it does, if the boathouse is on gilligan's island by way of 1950s pirates) i have long thought of doing a kitsch room. why the heck not a bathroom kitsch room?

Sparkleneely said...

This is beyond terrifying. Even scarier than the photo of the cat drinking from the toilet!

Eartha Kitsch said...

Ellyn: Ooh! I want to see your bathroom! (not to sound weird) I used to have a kitschy religious themed bathroom. I love themes and I love your idea..I bet it's GREAT!

Sparkleneely: Oh no...that toilet cat photo is THE STUFF! I love it!