Today, I was led to the Apartment Therapy site. Which I usually don't allow to happen because it sometimes just confounds me. There are honestly some great design ideas on there - but sites where people sit around and anonymously (and quite often cruelly) critique the styles of others wear away at my nerves.
It just so happens that today they are talking about wood paneling and oh my gosh, could it actually be coming back in style? You can go here to see.
And have mercy at the comments. Such anger and disappointment that the writer would even so much as bring up the notion of wood paneling! At first, there was just denial:
Hideous knotty pine is not back.
And then disgust:
Ew. No. And I love the rustic look, but wood paneling just looks so dark and busy.
And those who faked injuries:
Oh lord, please pass the eye bleach, will you?
And then a ripple of fear swept in:
I just ... It's so ... I mean ...BROWN. It's SO BROWN. I just can't stand any of it. Not a single one of the examples pictured is appealing to me. There is just no way I could get behind leaving any paneling natural in a home where lived. I would be compelled to paint it immediately. The BROWN! my eyes!!
Wow, that person really hates brown. And then a true suspension of disbelief (and suicidal tendencies) took over the comment thread:
I'd be interested to know how many of the people who commented in a positive manner regarding wood paneling, actually live in a wood paneled house...24 hours a day...7 days a week. It's not cool, chic, contemporary or anything but depressing. It sucks the light and color out of everything. I always joke with my husband that one of these days I'm going to tear it down and slit my wrists with the wood shards.
Now add in a little indignation and parental dissing:
No. Absolutely not. There is no excuse for this. Please stop the insanity.
No. Wrong. just wrong. my parents bought a house with this fugly wood paneling in '86. It wasnt cute then. Its not cute now.
Not ever in MY house, thanks very much. Kill this "trend" now, before it spreads!
I love how that last one compares wood paneling to a horrible, communicable disease. Then you have the elitists:
There's wood paneling from the 50's that's rich and real. Think gorgeous built-in studies in uber-wealthy homes. Then there's that notched crap from the late sixties and seventies that makes you want to cry -- hardly better than gussied up plywood and ubiquitous in that era -- even in expensive houses. One is Katherine Hepburn, the other is Happy Days.
I also love the comments where the people can't even fathom that some of us might actually live in houses with real wood paneling. Why, aren't we compelled to sleep in our cars and not even come inside at night? Do we keep the drapes drawn so that nobody will know our dirty little paneled secrets? Surely we don't actually live in our houses without spiraling into deep, dark depression! Picture The Snake Pit with Olivia de Havilland but instead of an insane asylum, put in it's place a knotty pine den. Chilling.
It's not cool, chic, contemporary or anything but depressing. It sucks the light and color out of everything. And I'd bet my last dime not a blessed one of the positive comments come from anyone who is forced to live in such wicked oppression.
Then you have the ones who blame pop culture:
Here we go... just because Mad Men is back, we'll have to suffer that crap again...
I bet this is one of the same people who buys up every vintage thing they can find and then tries to resell them online for ridiculous prices with the keywords "Mad Men" as if vintage items did not exist nor were they loved before Mad Men ever aired.
Then you have those who have to go into some kind of make-believe world to cope:
Ugh, there is nothing I hate more than wood paneling. I can live with any other aspect, but I just cannot do the paneling. I have to paint it and treat it like it's sheetrock and just do the best I can to ignore it.
And finally, there is the commenter who's having some pretty major angst filled childhood flashbacks:
I'm not sure that I've ever seen so many thoroughly disgusted comments in one place on a design blog. I firmly believe that some of these comments wouldn't be filled with so much bile if the people who made them weren't covering up their secret love for wood paneling. Just sayin'.
We have a saying in the South which goes "Bit dog hollers". That means that the one who barks the first and loudest is probably the one that we should be looking at. I'm talkin' to you, person who asked for eye wash!
And mark my words...one day soon, the tide will shift. Sure, it will take some huge event like Zooey Deschanel saying that she loves wood paneling. Or Etsy sellers hawking knotty pine mustaches on sticks. But it will happen.
Until next time,
x's and o's,